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Tue 31 May, 2005 07:37 pm
My sister in law is not a nice person. My husband and I have been together for 4 years, and she has always been terrible to me. Her boyfriend is a drug addict, and she always tries to discipline my 3 children (from a previous marriage) when I'm right there. Although her parents are aware of the drugs and the fact that she dropped out of college, she does not know they know and the whole family pretends that all is well. As a rather practical person, this drives me NUTS! Also, as a practical person, I tried talking out our differences. This resulted in her flying out of my home in a melodramatic meltdown, which resulted in my husband's mother following her and announcing the fact that she would never return to a house where her daughter is not welcome. (Which I never even said). Sorry this is so lengthy, but things are just so complicated I didn't know how to sum it all up. His parents live 355 miles away, and every time they come to visit it's a nightmare if his sister is involved. Any suggestions?
it's technically illegal, but the two words, paid assassin come to mind
ROTFLMAO, djjd!
(If you find one that will work for a reasonable fee, please let me know. It's not that I can't pay much, I just have a really long list. Quantity discount, maybe?)
Wish I had a helpful suggestion, momjia. At least you can be glad they live 300+ miles away and you don't have to deal with them too often.
slap the bitch. things can't get any worse.
Write a patient, kind letter to your mother in law--and you and your husband sign it.
In that loving letter, cover these points:
1) You and your husband love her and want her to be a part of your family. You may have children one day (this will kill her), and you wouldn't want them to miss the experience of a grandmother.
(muahahaha)
2) While you have never told Sis in law that she's not welcome--nor do you feel that way, there are issues that exist between the two of you. You and your husband feel they can be handled by two adult women, and that is what you are going to do.
3) Tell her you are disappointed that one relationship is experiencing stress, but you want to work together with mom-in-law to make sure that it doesn't affect the entire family. You suggest that the two of you don't talk about sis, and that she avoid talking with sis about you. The two of you (you and sis) should talk to one another about the issues between you.
___________
Of course, before you do this--talk with your husband. See if he agrees with you about sis, or if maybe you are more a part of this problem than you realize. If he agrees that the relationship with her is so bad that this is required, he has to sign the letter with you, and be prepared to discuss the fallout with his mother. He has to back you up completely--with no allowing his mom or sister to change his mind.
(So, really. Think about it before putting him through this. It would be hard for any man to go up against his mom and sis. Be sure you can't handle it a better way first.)