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Tue 31 May, 2005 07:35 pm
Ok here is whats going on, I am 38 and have been sober for 15 years now, I got sober at a place other than AA, I never liked AA, but I still feel that I needed a place to vent my troubles, I Have been seeing a private guy for 1 1/2yr or so, and one day about 6 months ago I was offered at the end of a meeting with him, that his wife was getting involved in an activity that I happen to train people for, I was asked if I could do some private lessons in this area and I agreed and I felt it was such an honor, well after spending some time with his wife, she approached me in the sense of a hand hold, I was shocked but did not pull away, this happened 3 or for times, and now she has leaned over for a kiss and I again did not pull away, I find myself getting very attached to her she is a very well educated women and I feel very special that she feels that strong towards me, we have talked about but not had sex, I was asked by her to hold back , to be the strong one if she asks for more, I am not sure why I'm posting this here other than I just need to get this of my chest, I have since found out many things about her husband that make me understand why she is not happy but on the other hand I can not go back to this guy more has he called to book anything. Anyway. I'll leave things at that for now , and hope to get some replies good and bad. I really don't think I'm a bad guy but this is very strange waters for me.
The best advice I could give you is to keep a distance from her. I hear you say you can see why she would stray from her marriage because of how her husband is, but if its that bad she should have the guts to get out of the marriage before coming on to you. Leaving a marriage is scary especially if you don't want to be alone. But to stay until you find someone that can fulfill those needs is wrong to everyone involved. Believe me you will end up the one most hurt if you continue this with her. I would explain to her you hope the best for her. To get involved with her will bring on hurt to everyone involved. She needs to know that having an affair is not the answer, I do sympathize with her I really do I have been there, but she will feel much better about her self if she goes to counseling to help her marriage or make a decision to leave it giving her husband respect.
Yes, I'm afraid you need to look for another counselor, too. You have too much history with this one now.
Thanks
Thanks for the feedback, it forces what is feeling deep in side, hard to so no when someone seams to care. Thanks again and I'm sure that I'll be back to post updates as I find this forum very well taken care of.
rdy4--
Welcome to A2K.
Forbidden fruit seems very sweet--and can be very dangerous.
You have a married woman who is flirting heavily with you--but counting on you to put the brakes on so she will be faithful to her husband. This is not a woman who takes responsibility for her own actions.
She seems to care? Perhaps, but she doesn't care about you or about her husband. This woman is dangerous. Avoid forbidden fruit.
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