My digital love life. How intimate is appropriate?

Reply Sat 17 Aug, 2019 11:27 am

I've been in a distance friendship with a guy, never took it seriously till today (first met people then dated them), though honestly have enjoyed how it has been picking up slowly between us for a few months now. But we haven't met yet.

We were planning to, upon his suggestion recently, but a force majeure on my side prevented this from happening. And, for a moment, I thought it was over at that point. But he kept writing, we video-chatted, and it got us even a bit closer.

I must say I am used to meeting people the "old school" way: share a table, hear them speak, see them move, and notice all subtleties that come along; never had a distance thing. Now I found myself in a new, digital acquaintance, dimension.

I use the term acquaintance because, despite all the sexual tension that flies in the air of our chatroom, the closest we got to talking about actually sex, was when we mutually agreed that, "all things go right", we'd move into one hotel room during the trip.

Today, increasingly after a few days now, we were flirt-chatting occasionally and his jokes were getting more sexually charged. His last joke was sort of a loaded question hinting at me having an active sexual life in parallel to my friendship with him. I was frustrated, honestly. I pointed it out with a wink, i.e. that the joke was a loaded question.

My friend saw it and vanished leaving me wonder whether pointing out the thing was offensive or that it was the time for him to go out on a date of his own, or having lunch with his mom, or just watching Netflix... 🤷 Not that I need proper openings and closures either, it just felt like the talk was interrupted. It made me feel confused.

At the moment I am clueless about what's behind the interruption. Very open to honest conversations, I feel these require proper introduction.

Or is it only my confusion?
He is intelligent, with manners and perhaps even sensitive, but I might be mistaken. With nonharm mantra, I tend to "think twice" so asking the collective intelligence on a2k.
Ah, and he is British if cultural things ever matter in love life.

Thank you!
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Reply Sat 17 Aug, 2019 01:55 pm
...was it and vanished.

He is intelligent, with manners...

You can immediately scratch off "manners" . To make a sudden exit with no explanation or anything, shows lack of manners.

You need to decide if your internet relationship continues or ends. If he re-emerges give him the opportunity to explain what he did and go from there.
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Reply Sat 17 Aug, 2019 07:57 pm
From your description, he was asking ( very clumsy-like) if he and you were “exclusive.” He wanted to know if you were sexually involved with anyone else.

You winked.

He booked.
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