My husband cheated on me...

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Im new here and the reason I am here is because I dont know what else to do or where else to turn.
I am 27 and have been married to my husband for 7 years.We have always been happy,infact it was love at first site and he couldent marry me quick enough..he was all over me and just wanted to be with me all the time.After we had our daughter (I already had my son when we met) I started to let him go out,I felt that us having a child shouldent be a reason to stay at home 24/7,so I let him go out on his own..he started going out more and more and ended up going out 7 days a week.Of course after 4 years of going out and having fun he met someone and I found him out through his cell phone,it was full of kinky sms messages which have hurt me SO much that I feel psycically sick.He has sworn that nothing happened and that it never went any further than the messages,but I keep seeing him and this girl in my head,his messages to her were loving and I cant shake this awful feeling.He wants to fix this and says that he loves me,but he wont talk to me about it,he said I have to get over it and let him go out again because shutting him up isnt going to help.I am so upset because I feel that he is taking me for granted now that he knows how much I love him,espcially after forgiving him this..Now he treats me with indiference and he is acting like Iv got to let him out again and that I can trust him.He wont talk to me about this and its driving me nuts!!! Please help..what should I do?

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I'd slap the f*ucker and then divorce him.

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If he won't talk about it, don't trust him. He has already broken your trust, you have no reason to trust him again. Until he talks about it, why should you accept his "need" to go out again as anything other than his need to go screw around again?

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What is this "going out" business all about anyway? Going out with guy friends? Going out to bars? Going out to pick up women?

If you ask me, it sounds suspiciously like single life, not married life. Married people go out together.

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Eva is right, when you're married you should be going out as a couple, save the occassional "guys/girls night out".
It seems as though your husband is cheating on you and is completely disrespectful, and you're letting him!
He needs to be home with his family not bar-hopping and messaging other women.
Refusing to talk about it, and telling you that you need to let him go out to build trust is bs. He just wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Don't be an enabler, tell him it's your way or the highway.

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He is already gone most of the time and it sounds like he is with other women. Just divorce the sorry excuse for a husband/father and be better off for it.

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How about you reverse the situation and you suggest that your the one to go out each night, see how he likes it and wether he thinks he can trust you.

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Gosh, it sounds like you've copped all the responsibility in this marriage, Gina27! So you stay home & look after the kids & do the work around the place while he goes out 7 nights a week? Hmmm, that doesn't sound quite fair, does it? And, as if that isn't enough, he appears to be involved at least one other woman? ... AND "doesn't want to talk about it" with you? Shocked

To put it politely, your partner doesn't appear to have any sense of how a fair partnership works. This is not a great deal for you (or your kids, for that matter) at all. I'd have a good hard think about my situation if I were you. Do you want to keep living like this?

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msolga--

I'm sure you're being unfair to the playboy. After all he makes sure she knows when to pick up his dry cleaning and that his favorite snack foods are in the pantry.

Gina--

Welcome to A2K.

You've noticed that your "husband" wouldn't be welcome here?

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i think that he is using you so much. Just get rid of him, if you dont he will hurt you more than you know and then this will affect the children and they will be without a 'father'. It is not fair on them as well as you.

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Quote:

I felt that us having a child shouldent be a reason to stay at home 24/7,so I let him go out on his own

REALLY! What about you? Apparently you are married to a boy who wants to behave like a carefree teenager, not a husband and father. And it sounds like you have had a hand in enabling him to shirk his responsibilities.

One thing that a mother of two kids does not need, is another little boy in the house. Get rid of him.

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My husband cheated on me...

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