Never Marry a REALLY Hot Men?

good night all.....

gnite L. don't forget to set the stopwatch! or hourglass, as the case may be... :wink:

You give me too much credit extra - my attention span is
extremely short

Good night Lola, sleep well!

oooo.

hmmmm. <thinking>

So like 10-20 minutes or so of very good quality might be more appropriate?

Nevermind: Give me a number. What's the preferred time? I'm doing a survey! (for spendius)

I almost can see your brain working in overload now:
saying: "I can do that! I can do that!"

Didn't know you're a mind reader too.

Well, lets just say Americans are known for being versatile...

And on that very subject.......

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=52339

......And for having things that are extra medium.



FACTS FOR LIFE
The most versatile of vegetables is the Tomato...or Tomato, as you Americans would say.

70% of Americans have some English in them.
Of the other 30%, I am open to offers to those without an "Adams Apple".

You heard m'lady. She doesn't like the marathons. Medium is good. Extra Medium is better.

Don't be a hater, m'lord. :wink:

And extra strong is something else.It brings Champion League Trophies home for a kick-off.

You know those flat-pack DIY kits you can buy,not that I ever have but I've seen them,well-they come with an instruction booklet which if you follow properly enables you to come to the conclusion you desire.For a chest of drawers say.They tell you how to do the screws and fit the joints together and all.

What I was thinking was that if the figures quoted in the survey I mentioned from The Sunday Times have stung everybody's pride,which they seem to have,it might go someway to achieving a better outcome if those on this thread who are abnormal,statistically speaking,in this regard were to provide the normals,again statistically speaking, with some detailed methodology which they have found has enabled them to overcome what look like the natural limits from a statistical point of view
of 7.6 minutes for Brits and 7.0 minutes for citizens of the USA.

With the flat-pack I suppose the first manoeuvre is to take the purchase out of the car and transfer it to the floor of the room in which the finished product is to be situated.Then to cut open the box along the dotted line marked with a scissors symbol and find the instruction booklet and to then proceed according to the information provided.

It seems to me that if those threaders who "bust the rate" found to be average by the researchers would care to formulate a set of instructions which they have found enabling in this regard more normal threaders,statistically speaking I mean,might be facilitated to bring their performance levels up to that of those A2K members who self-evidently are leaders in this field of human activity so that,with luck,when the scientists re-visit the subject,which they probably will,in a few years a dramatic improvement can be expected which will easily be traceable to our board and we will all become world famous.

I am not unaware that if this should happen our high performance role models would have more competition to contend with but that is surely a small price to pay to add a quantument to the sum total of human happiness.

We can assume that the object has had dinner,a bottle of reasonably expensive wine and a few short-snorts equipped with little plastc umbrellas and has slipped onto the carpet where the flat pack containing the chest of drawers had previously been located,the lights are dimmed,the top three buttons of the instructor's shirt have been undone and a DVD of lush romantic songs has been energised.

Go from there.We can all get that far without any guidance.And no euphemisms please.Our common language is quite adequate without stooping to underhand methods designed to avoid the vicar's wife getting hot flushes.

If you get a flat-pack instruction manual it might be useful as a literary prototype.

The tactic that I always use, and it never fails, especially with American ladies, is to dim the lights, put the "Birdie Song"( by the Tweets) on to the gramophone, and ask said Lady if she is up for a bit of " 'ow's yer Father"

Drives 'em wild.

To ensure that I have gained adequate personal satisfaction in only seven minutes, I usually imagine Teri Hatcher as also being present, in order to hasten its conclusion.

Then a nice cup of tea and a read of the Newspaper, in order to catch up with the days events, and it's back to the gramophone for round two.

With all due respect your Honour that is no help at all.

We are attempting to find out how to uprate ourselves on the male sexual performance index not the opposite.Time reading a newspaper to catch up on the day's events,a fatuous idea,does not count.A drink of tea might be a useful accoutrement to those who have a penchant for such things but any time taken to drink it should also be deducted.

Don't you feel a little ashamed of yourself for mentioning Teri Hatcher,a person I have never heard of,when you could so easily have used the name of one or more of the ladies who have featured in this thread.That seems like an own goal to me.I dare say that some of them.maybe all of them,will feel miffed at you allowing an opportunity for a graceful compliment to pass you by.They might even feel that you have studiously insulted them.

I have never heard of anyone shagging a gramaphone before and it is possible that Mr Blair is attempting to abolish the upper chamber because he has been informed of such behaviour taking place right next door to where matters of the utmost gravity are debated and decided.

Some credit is due though.It is certainly gentlemanly of you not to take an American lady past the 7 minute mark as they may well find that beyond that point is unknown territory which is known to be conducive to nervousness.

Man to man could you inform us whether the number of spots on the lady's bumpskins makes any difference to your performance levels or to put it more succinctly does a blemish free set of bumpskins put you in with the Turks or with extra medium.In the past I have found the spotty bumpskin effect to vary with my mood.I found a marked difference if I was engrossed in a study of Ayesha from when I was studying Opus Pistorum.
I wondered if you had had any similar experience.

Yes Spanky, get wit the program! Can't you see, spendius
is on a mission here

C.J.

I detest,despise and utterly abhor the missionary project.My desire to protect our lovely language is not a mission.It is a survival plan.

A smile on my fan's little faces is reward enough for me.

Spendi dear. If you think of it as a performance, then all is lost. One must be engaged for the fun of it. Enough said.

the MG likes to quote Al Franken who quotes a statistic on this subject. Al says that his favorite statistic is this: In hotels, the average run time for a porn movie is 12 minutes.

Lola:-

Yes but Americans don't stay in hotels much.Hotels are for tourists.That is a very dodgy statistic.If the MG thinks he can take your average mean performance time up five minutes in one jump with stuff like that he's up a gum tree.

I don't think of it full stop.We are discussing an article in The Sunday Times which has been abstracted from some serious scientific research.It is a serious thread don't you know?

Where have you been?What about Salammbo?

Time out.2 hours or so.

The MG was trying to up the time to 12 minutes....I was quoting him from another time. I didn't ask him if I could quote him, I should have, I suppose. Anyway, I think Franken's joke is funny because the time is so short not because it makes the ever so brief 7 minutes an under estimate.

I have no doubt that the average time is 7 or 7.9 or 12. There's really no difference in those figures. Not where it counts anyway.

I'm working on my article. The dead line is next week. I only show up here to have a little fun during breaks. Sometimes I'm naughty and stay longer than I should. My neck hurts I've been sitting at this computer so long. I really ought to stay away completely until I'm done because you guys are so much fun and I'm so tempted. Naughty me.