My neighbor's are moving and they're taking their kids

Oh poor Mo!
THis happened to us last year when our neighbors moved
and their son (I guess I should call him Tarzan ) , best friend to my little Jane for the last 5 years, actually took it a lot harder than Jane did.

His father had to drive Tarzan over to our house at least
twice a week and slowly they weened him off to once a month.

Now we haven't seen Tarzan in quite a while and although
Jane still misses Tarzan, she's learned to cope.

Arrange a lot of visits for Curley & Larry to see Mo, especially in the beginning it will help. I'm sure, neighbor
mom will be glad too, if she can unpack her moving boxes without the munchkins around.

Oh, poor, poor boomer, Mo, and Curly.

I am coming up completeley blank. Maybe Mo could dictate a card to Curly and you could write it out for him. Do you have any pictures of them together? Could you make a nice collage and give it to Curly as a goodbye present? Maybe make another one to hang in Mo's room.

Poor Mo, what a setback.

Oh no.

Well, this is one I can definitely give advice on. At least in terms of having experience with it -- you know that sozlet went through the same thing last year, moving away from her best friend, Jack. (Although in a rather complicated twist, he moved away from her first, a week before us; but they were close enough that we went out to see them one last time before we moved for good.)

It absolutely sucked. Pretty much the suckiest part of the whole sucky moving episode.

One thing that seemed to help is that we took lots of pictures of everyone -- Jack, sozlet, Jack's little brother, Jack's dog, Jack's iguana -- and made a little photo album out of it. She looked at that thing over and over again for a long time after we moved. She STILL likes to get it out and talk about it now and then. It is a cheap one from Walgreen's that has a little cut-out in front, first picture is one of Jack smiling a really sweet smile, and she just -sigh-s whenever she sees it.

We also had a few phone calls -- not sure why we haven't done more, the first was a big hit. And some cards, parental emails, etc.

Do you know anything about who will be moving in? As callous as it may seem, the biggest cure for Jack angst was meeting new kids -- once she started preschool and met her current best friend, Jack was still there in the background as someone very special to her, but not an ongoing source of angst. (As he was, or his absence was, from moving day 'til the first day of preschool.) She'll still talk about him apropos of nothing in particular.

Trying to think of what else we did to prepare. We read "Little Bear's Friend", which ends with Emily going away and Little Bear being sad about that, but staying in touch via letters. We had a specific timeline and talked about it a lot. Jack's moving in 10 days -- 8 days -- 6 days -- this is the last time we will play at Jack's house, but we will go visit his new house. Our last visit with Jack will be in 3 days. Our last visit with Jack will be tomorrow. This is it, our last visit with Jack. (Ugh, it was awful -- description here):

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=779893#779893

Then after that we wrote some letters, and the phone calls. And we just waited it out.

Of course, there was all the extra stuff about US moving -- I'm sure that makes everything a little different.

Will think more.

I think the anger stuff is really normal. Defense mechanism. Jack and sozlet had some awful fights the last week or so. The end of the day that I took all kinds of photos for the album, they got in some hysterical screaming fight, us leaving early with sozlet sobbing, etc. I forget the cause, he wouldn't let her play with a toy or something.

They had a great time that last day, though.

I think we can do all of these things -- except the visits. They will be too far away.

We do have some photos and I have time to get some more so I can do a little album for Mo.

You know, photos of his family really helped when he first moved in with us and then he started putting them away. He still keeps one out of him and his mom but that's about it.

So yeah, maybe some photos of Mo with Curly and Larry would be good.

I've been trying to integrate the little boy across the street into more things. He's a nice kid and Mo likes him but he is ditched the minute Curly shows up.

<sigh>

I wish I had become better friends with Curly's mom but it was so much a Mo and Curly through the fence thing that it just never seemed to happen.

<sigh>

Last I heard, the house was going to sell to either a retired couple or a very young couple -- nobody with kids.

They'll probably repair the hole in the fence.

<sigh>

We moved a lot when I was a kid and I remember it always felt like the end of the world but things got better very quickly. But I had my tribe of siblings to ease the blow.

I know that this too shall pass but as sozs says it "the whole sucky thing" that sucks.

Poor Mo--and poor you. At least Mo's emotions are not festering inside him. Can you make an album of Mo for Curly to take with him? Lots of conversation about how Curly will be able to see the picture of the hole in the fence and remember Mo....see pictures of Mo and the dogs and remember Mo....

Directing a Farewell Album would give Mo a small piece of the action--and a small piece of control-- in the upheaval.

Hold your dominion.

You could kidnap Curly and make a nice home for him in your basement, where he'll be shielded by the horrors of sunglight, fresh air, and homework.

I think it helped that we had a few sets of "lasts". Like, if that last day at his house had been the absolute last day -- the one where they had the hysterical screaming fight -- that would've been an unfortunate ending, I think. We had maybe 4-5 lasts. Last trip to the zoo together. Last trip to the park. Last time at our house. Last time at their house. First/ last time at their new house. Etc.

Seemed to give them time to deal with it.

Oh my gosh.

I'm thinking of taking parenting tips from Slappy!

Actually, I would only have to hide Curly til Friday afternoon. I could bring him out again by the weekend. Since I acquire children in unusual ways nobody would even think to ask where I got him from.

I've tried to get Mo talking about it. He drew a card for Curly but when it came time to give it to him he burried it in the backyard instead.

Curly showed up at the fence decked out like Superman today so I took that opportunity to get a lot of nice shots.

We set up a date for Thursday morning so everybody could say their good-byes and take the tractor for a last spin around the yard.

<sigh>

Mo does excel in vivid, non-verbal communication.

You must have days when a little festering sorrow would be welcome.

What will be will be. Let the King of Mime know that you ache for him, but you can't change the world and that you and Mr. B. love him dearly, agony and all.

Hold your dominion.

Are Mo and Curly over the age of 15? I dressed like Superman until this past January.

Larry is 3, Mo is 4, Curly is 5 so I'm thinking they're Slappy-tracking. Kids mature faster these days, or so I'm told.

Mo is pretty good with symbolism, isn't he, Noddy?

I tucked the note in a ziploc and reburried it figuring we could dig it up someday when we were missing Curly.

About how old are Mo and Curley? Hey wait a minute, this isn't some old Three Stooges plot is it? Anyhow, not sure if I can help, but if I can it would be helpful to know how old the two children are and what did you mean when you said "since Mo lost all his people"?

Hi there glitterbag. Nice to see you again!

The post above yours lists their ages - 3, 4, and 5.

Mo lost all his people two and a half years ago when his parents dropped him off to spend the night with us and then never came back to get him.

It's a long story.

He still sees some of them once in a while but he has..... ummmm.... issues..... with disappearing people.

My bad. My first thought on reading the title was, What if the neighbors moved and didn't take their kids?

I must confess that I am glad they are taking their children with them.

But if I were in charge, they wouldn't be moving at all.

I need to go to a board meeting right now, so I will catch up later tonight. What kind of miseralbe (expletive deleted) would abandon a child? No wonder he is upset. I promise to return after the meeting. I only have 10 minutes to get there, luckily it's just across the street. GB

I ask myself the same question regarding not only this incredible and fascinating and beautiful and imaginitive and simply delicious little boy but all the other little kids like him.

People do stupid things.

But he is so welcome here and so loved here.

He is the sun that gives reason to our orbits.

We're working towards adopting him because we can't imagine five seconds without him.

So it's okay, or, it's more okay in this case than it is in most.

It's okay even though I will never understand it.

<sob>

They're gone.

Curly, Larry and Ms. Stooge came over this morning for a last play date.

For the last couple of days I've been trying to convince Mo to pick something out to give Larry and Curly as a little "remember me".

This morning, Mo finally decided we needed to give them some tomato plants (we've often exchanged plants through the fence) for their new house. So we transplanted a couple in nice little pots.

Ms. Stooge said she was working on a bulletin board of all their friends to put in the new house so we gave them a nice picture of Mo.

I took a gazillion pictures that we can have printed for Mo to have.

I think we've made it through this far okay.

Now, the first time he runs to the fence shouting for Curly might be a whole new ballgame.....

Oh, I'm so glad you guys eked out a good ending. I think that's most important. Once we got through the ending, it was pretty much uphill from there. I mean, not steady, there were definite moments, but that seemed to be the worst of it.

Did they actually say goodbye? Hugged and stuff?

Great about gazillion pictures.

Mo obviously has some understanding of what's going on -- the anger, the burying the card -- so if he was able to deal with saying goodbye, I think there is a good chance he'll be able to deal with the rest of it.

That's one aspect that neither of us movers dealt with last year though -- Jack didn't have to look across the street at a sozlet-less house, we didn't have to look across the street at a Jack-less house, we all moved to new environs with no particular reminders.