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Forest Gump applies for entrance to Heaven

 
 
Reply Sat 15 Mar, 2003 01:49 pm
The day finally arrived: Forest Gump died and appeared in Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and as Forest approached the Gatekeeper, St. Peter says, "Well,
Forest, it's certainly good to see you. We've heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.

Forest responded, "It sure is good to be here St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test isn't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter replied, "Yes, I know, Forest, but the test is only three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"

Forest left to think the questions over, then returned the next day.

St. Peter waved Forest up and said, "Now that you have had a chance to
think about the questions, tell me your answers."

Forest said, "Well, the first one, which two days in the week begin with the letter T? Shucks, that one's easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

St. Peter's eyes open wide and he exclaimed, "Forest, that's not what I was thinking, but you do have a point. I guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer.

How about the next one?" asked St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"

Forest replied, "Twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February
2nd, March 2nd..."

"Hold it," interrupted St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this. I see your point though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."

"Let's go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure," Forest replied, "its Andy."

"Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forest replied. "I learnt it from the song "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN."

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run, Forest, run".
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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 866 • Replies: 2
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Equus
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Mar, 2003 02:10 pm
I always heard that God's first name was Howard. You know, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."
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steissd
 
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Reply Sat 15 Mar, 2003 05:26 pm
Did you mean "hallowed be Thy name", Equus?
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