is cheating (kind of) allowed? help quick!

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i'm 15 and my boyfriend is 16, our year left school today but something bad happened...

loads of us went round to a friends house to have a barbeque, with lots and lots of alcohol. me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 months but its just not that fun anymore, we've never done anything too serious and we are incredibly different where our values are concerned, yet well matched in terms of music, sense of humour etc etc.

he likes drinking and was drunk and throwing bottles round as soon as we'd left school i left him and his mates to go to the barbeque but he rang a little later in floods of tears saying he wanted to speak to me. they came to the barbeque and others joined later, he was crying and telling me how much he loved me whilst i tried to be as reassuring and happy as possible. eventually i got the vodka and it didnt take much befor i was gone. he spent the rest of the time with his head over a bucket meanwhile i kissed two other guys, one who i kinda have history with and another later on who id only just met.

this is very unlike me, im normally reserved and shy not slutty and horrible. also everyone was drunk. now ive sobered up, the guy who i just met said he loves me and really thinks we could have something even though i currently have a boyfriend. the other one i have avoided and probably will as we both said things which we know are true but prefer to deny.

just to complicate matters, its our leavers prom tomorrow, im sittinmg with my boyfriend and the 'history guy', i don't know what to do, i think i'll be ok to lie for tomorro, but what then?

what do i say to them all?

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Don't lie, that'll just make things worse! Tell them all you were sorry, but you were drunk and you said and did things you shouldn't have. Apologize for everything.

And in the future, don't get drunk. The situation you're in right now should be motivation enough to stay sober. What a mess.

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Cheating is never excusable as simply, "Oops! >_>"

Tell them all the truth, you owe them nothing less or more than the absolute truth. You were the one that drank yourself into that state, and so it's time to take responsibility and reap what you sow.

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Either you tell the other guys to back off now, tell your boyfriend you got drunk and then you're very sorry now and forget about it or you break up with him right this minute. If you lie for one day then tomorrow he's gonna wonder why you did and dump your ass anyway

You need to decide if you still wanna be with the guy but...

Quote:

me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 months but its just not that fun anymore, we've never done anything too serious and we are incredibly different where our values are concerned

I think you have your answer already

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its so hard to tell the truth and i'm a good liar. i always seem to put on a front and i could pull this of without anyone getting hurt.

do i just sound like i'm making excuses?

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Yes it does

And if and when you do tell you're boyfriend then i guess you're planning on admitting it happened yesterday... so how do you plan on explaining not having told him?

If you guys are so wrong for each other then why do you want to lie anyway?

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Lieing is not a practical way to get along in life, aside from the ethics of it. I used to lie some when I was a teen, primarily to my mother, and rarely got caught. But I ended up not feeling particularly good about myself about why I was doing it - so she or others would like me. Other people seemed to do ok with just being who they were in a straightforward fashion, so I managed over time to change my ways.

On the drinking, you all seem to be drinking for fun and escape. That gets to be a problem over time too, but you probably know that.

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I don't think kissing two kinda random guys counts as cheating as it was a one-off and both u and ur boyfriend sounded pretty drunk. As far as this guy you only just met (that loves you) goes... I'd really get to know him quite a bit better before you let him say he loves you. Think about what you have/haven't got in the relationship with your boyfriend and if there were reasons besides being drunk as to why you kissed these other guys...

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we had our prom last night, it was ok, i was there for my boyfriend when he was playin guitar on stage, and the guy who i have history with was there aswell. i spoke to him and he was very unhappy, both of us are confused now. he said its probbly best if we dont speak for 8 weeks until we meet again at collage and at the end we had a hug and both of us wre near tears

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Once again i think you have your answer
a) you cheated on your boyfriend
b) your instant reaction afterwards wasn't all consuming-guilt and remorse
c) one of the guys you had history with and when he told you he loved you it confused him
d) now you're nearly in tears at teh thought of not talking to him, not being with him etc

I'm not saying you should get back together with your ex... but i don;t think you should be with your current boyfriend. I think you need time to sort out your feelings

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it would destroy my boyfriend if i broke up with him, especially now, its a really bad time because we have important exams coming up and i dont wanna screw with his mind.

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Ok actually that is a mentality that i would stick of. We were told above all costs DO NOT BREAK UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND OVER EXAMS!!!!

And it's very good advice too Razz

But seriously have a good think about it...

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First of all, whether or drunk or not, yes it is still cheating *raises eyebrow at mintcake's comment*
"well we were all drunk, it's not my fault I smashed the car into that person Smile

" Nope... being drunk, no matter who else is, is no excuse for violating the agreed upon rules of a relationship. Even if he had also kissed some girls, he'd just be violating it also! Then you'd both have a big problem Razz

angelina_papina wrote:

it would destroy my boyfriend if i broke up with him, especially now, its a really bad time because we have important exams coming up and i dont wanna screw with his mind.

Bad reason to not break up #804834824034802.

Because he's in exams?! Not because... "I love him too much" or "we have a lot of love for each other" or.. I dunno... it sounds like you're just staying with him to be nice and not break his heart, which is terrible, because you could end up hurting him in the long run if your feelings aren't strong enough for him.

I agree with Bekaboo, it sounds like you need to reconsider what you actually feel for these people.

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I'm not advocating staying together... but i do think she has a point about staying together for the month or so until exams are over. For him, for her: breaking up right now is not a great idea

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ive thought long and hard, i really do love my boyfriend, even though were so different, i love him. he told me he tried to kiss people too, he must have been surprised at my lack of angryness. how i feel towards him still seems to have no bearing on what i feel for the history guy, it wouldnt been so bad if it was a drunken kiss between the two of us, but we both said we had feelings for eachother. he said last night at the prom he felt so destroyed seeing me and my boyfriend together and later texted me sayin he loved me. is it possible to like 2 people in this way do you think?

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Yes it is. Unfortunately it's not possible to be with both of them at the same time so you have to choose. Either you put your feelings for one aside and stick with the other... or you choose to go it alone for a while

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today my boyfriend kinda half guessed something, he was with a friend of mine who it seems dropped a hint, my boyfriend called the other guy and had words. he didnt find out about the kiss but knows the other guy likes me. it all sillyfied.

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Having feelings for two guys at the same time is a good indicator that you're not ready to settle down with either.

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Eva wrote:

Having feelings for two guys at the same time is a good indicator that you're not ready to settle down with either.

Exactly. *applauds*

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is cheating (kind of) allowed? help quick!

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