fiancee and mom in law....

Your girlfriend sounds like she is really trying to make a good impression on your parents. That is great! It's natural that she feels out of place. After all, no matter how welcoming everyone tries to be, it truly is not her house and it never will be. If your parents do their best to make her feel welcome, though, a couple of months of being a "houseguest" isn't really that long.

BTW, I suspect your mother will feel the same way when she visits the two of you in YOUR home one of these days. It will be awkward for her then.

Re: cooking...don't displace your mother from her own kitchen. But negotiate times when she is okay with your girlfriend cooking there. Even if it's only a few times a week and your parents don't want to try something new, that's okay. You can eat it with your girlfriend and make her happy. Right?

semidevil, i was in your exact situation. we lived in my parents house while we were engaged to save money to buy our own house. Being half chinese myself, i understand, since i brought a texan into the house. i am talking a good ole boy. i also understand your mom and her kitchen. my chinese grandmother has a fit when even I, her granddaughter, try to help her in the kitchen. i agree with Eva, try to negotiate times when she can cook.

as far as her culture, keep expressing that you are interested in it, even if you parents aren't and that you will share in her traditions and anything else once you get a place of your own.

wow, my hubby didn't get along with my dad either because dad always talked about money. we did pay our own bills (or split them with my parents), contribute to grocery shopping and helped with chores around the house so dad didn't feel so much like he was supporting us. However if you don't have income, maybe you all could offer to do more chores around the house so your dad might lay off a little on teh money subject. otherwise have a heart to heart with him and just talk things through.

i caution you about talking about your relationship with your parents however. That almost cost me my marriage. if it is a subject that concerns your parents, like your girlfriend left the water hose on all night and flooded the yard, they should comment on that. however, if it is an argument between you and your girlfriend about how she treats you or whatever, do not bring your parents into the mix. you will end up alienating her from the rest of the house which is not good. 3 vs. 1 can be scary.

hope it works because we were able to save up enough to put 20% on our first house which was a wonderful feeling! good luck!

eva & dragon give excellent advice.

Your gf can't feel really at home, as she's not the mistress of the house. Your mother is. Your gf seems to have a lot of respect for that.

just remember, time takes time. This probably isn't the perfect situation for anybody.

Imagine a year from now. It's not so far away.