The Duck is Dead

THE DUCK IS DEAD
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck Cuddles has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't
done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and
returned a few moments later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The
vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later
with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and sniffed delicately at the
bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its
head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150
just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
"I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."