Post pregnancy, getting horny many times a day

Reply Mon 27 May, 2019 10:37 am
I am a male, near forty, married and a father of one. Since we got pregnant 2 years ago and afterward when our lovely daughter was born, our sexual life has almost vanished. Between the two of us, I always have the higher libido and my wife, the new mother in town, has almost no libido since the baby arrived. To give an idea of our situation, before our pregnancy we used to have sex, maybe once a month; after our pregnancy, during these two and half years we had sex only 4 times.

During the last few months, I am facing this odd problem of getting an erection many times when I am home and my wife is around. It's not like a random erection without sexual thought, it's like I am always ready to have sex with her. With the baby, both of us go through tremendous stress and work pressure, despite that I get hard many times a day. She is also surprised and bit irritated that how can I get such thoughts in such situations. I am so embarrassed and do not exactly know what to do.

Do any of you empathize with me? Have you or your husband experience such situation? How did you get out of it? Is that abnormal? Should I/we seek medical help?

Appreciate your thoughts and for sharing your experience.
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Reply Tue 28 May, 2019 05:24 pm
I would wonder why your wife's libido is so low. Has she talked to her Dr. about this? Is she exhausted from working and caring for the baby?

Your horni-ness is not unusual for your age, but it's a little out of balance when your partner is not willing to join in once in a while and it irritates her that you are walking around with a hard-on. Now you seem like a pestering child to her. You don't want her to perceive you like that.

You apparently have lots of time to have sexual thoughts. Geez, maybe doing a load of dishes or the laundry can dampen that. How about her getting a night out with the girls? Grandparents available to babysit? Do you have any outside sports activities? Putter in the garage to keep yourself busy?

Lastly, take your wife away for a weekend and see if you two can re-connect sexually. At least make one night per week date night.

And - Both of you need physicals. Hopefully, both of you can come to some kind of mutual satisfaction.

Reply Tue 28 May, 2019 06:52 pm
Thanks for your reply and appreciate the suggestions!

She has not talked to her doctor about her low libido and yes it has gone lower from the exhaustion of caring for the baby.

I understand how she might be feeling and that makes me more embarrassed about the situation. Well, about having a lot of times, not really, I am mostly busy with many other things besides the hectic office schedule, with outdoor sports activities and with my other hobbies which I am very passionate about. Having said that, I understand your point, I need to avoid an idle brain and body.

Having at least one date night per week seems to be a pretty good idea.

Thanks again for sharing your thought and for the advice.
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