7
   

for those who have....how did u fully get over cutting??

 
 
Ponderer
 
  1  
Tue 28 May, 2019 06:53 am
@cherrie,
Yes
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  3  
Tue 28 May, 2019 09:18 am
@Ponderer,
Ponderer wrote:
Now she has been turned against the person who cared about her most, who spent hours with her making her happy?

Ponderer wrote:
Maybe you have forgotten that I was the first person to talk to you. Maybe you have forgotten how you selected my answers to you. So I'll repeat my first words so hopefully you will never forget.

I don't doubt that you are well-intentioned, but this kind of posts gives off a distinctly creepy vibe. I understand that you don't realize this, and that you didn't mean it as such, but please listen to what people are telling you, whether they do so brusquely or indirectly.
izzythepush
 
  4  
Tue 28 May, 2019 09:33 am
@Ponderer,
That's right, make her feel guilty.

That will show her you really care.

As has already been pointed out, you come across as more than a bit creepy.

She's a young girl and you're probably old enough to be her grandfather.

What you're doing now isn't helping.
izzythepush
 
  5  
Tue 28 May, 2019 09:36 am
@kaylie-the-cutter,
Now you're established on A2K you can talk about other things.

You've already dipped your toe into politics and shut up one of the Trumpies, so well done.

Most people on A2K are fairly normal.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  3  
Tue 28 May, 2019 09:47 am
@Linkat,
I'm glad to read on your profile, Kaylie, that you're staying away from the knives now -- and realized your ex was "really just an idiot" Very Happy -- hopefully things will be okay now!

But if you start feeling the urge to hurt yourself again, Linkat's post is good advice.

I had an episode in my life where I started cutting myself -- it was a mild case compared to others I'm sure, but definitely harmful -- when I was around 30. It just felt like physically hurting myself, if only mildly, took the attention away from my mental anguish. And that it was the only way to deal with it, since at that moment I felt (wrongly!) that few others would be willing to hear me out about what I was feeling. But it just made me feel more lost and alone.

A couple of things helped me, but of course not everyone will be as lucky to have these opportunities. I left the room I was living in to spend a couple of weeks with a family in the dunes. Lots of fresh air, beautiful surroundings, and I walked a lot -- physical exercise does help, as annoying as it can seem. Also helped by providing a quiet place, where I wrote a lot, away from home and reminders of heartache. Later a friend invited me to stay at her place - she wasn't one to talk about feelings but she was patient and didn't judge. Back home I also tried to get outside as much as possible, and forced myself to go meet friends even when I barely had the courage to do so. And I would really have benefited from counseling as well, which I unfortunately only got later on.

Also, the one time I accidentally cut deeper and there was a lot of blood, which left a scar for a good long while, scared me off. But obviously please don't wait for that to happen. Razz

Not all of those things might help you. Or be possible for you. Or even be appropriate for your age -- please don't send your parents into a panic by just going off to stay with strangers somewhere. Very Happy But I'm just adding it to what the others have already said as things to think about if you ever feel like that again. Smile
0 Replies
 
Ponderer
 
  0  
Tue 28 May, 2019 10:35 am
@nimh,
I thought this wasn't about me. It is certainly not about what vibes you get from what I write. Unless you make it so.
0 Replies
 
Ponderer
 
  -2  
Tue 28 May, 2019 10:38 am
@izzythepush,
It's not about making her feel guilty. I asked who would take responsibility.
This is about her being jumped in by a gang. She may not be aware of the brainwashing that passes as help. She may not recognize the wolves in sheep's clothing. But I do.
You think you have done good for her by speaking against me.
izzythepush
 
  4  
Tue 28 May, 2019 11:01 am
@Ponderer,
Brainwashing? You're delusional, others are giving sound advice. Your advice amounted to quoting song lyrics and saying please don't do it, none of which is remotely practical

Ponderer wrote:

Now she has been turned against the person who cared about her most, who spent hours with her making her happy?


This is seriously fucked up. You are not the person who cares about her the most, that would be friends and family.

You're some bloke on the internet whose initial concern has turned into something else, something quite creepy.

I made one post pointing out your white knight behaviour, and that clearly struck a chord otherwise she wouldn't have agreed with me right away.

I've had disagreements with both Nimh and Linkat, but I'd never describe them as wolves in sheep's clothing, both are offering sound, practical advice. And so is Max for that matter, (never thought I'd hear myself saying that!)

You are something different altogether, you're starting to sound obsessed, and there's a word for old men who get obsessed with schoolgirls.

You've already had one post removed by the mods, how do you think they'll view behaviour that looks a lot like self centred obsessive stalking?

Back off, and let her talk to whoever she wants to on here, it's not a private club you signed her into, it's an open forum.

Do you want people to think you're some sort of nonce, because that's how you're starting to come across?
Ponderer
 
  -1  
Tue 28 May, 2019 12:03 pm
@izzythepush,
Since it continues to be "@ Ponderer", "Ponderer wrote", I'll say that I stand behind anything I write and no one is going to shame me about what I write. I am satisfied knowing that she told me that it was good to call me a friend and be sincere about it. It is unfortunate that this post so quickly turned contentious. The truth is that I saw something that was meant to hurt her and that brought out the Superman in me. (More than a few people that I have rescued in real life will tell you that is no delusion)
Again, what she thought about me means more to me than all of my detractors put together.
0 Replies
 
 

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