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Sat 14 May, 2005 08:06 am
Texans can be gluttens for punishment. I guess that's why I'm opening myself up to abuse by posting this email I recieved from my sister. Note that this is being posted in the humor category. Be gentle . . .
On Being from Texas...
When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you questions like,
"Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?"
"Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?"
They all want to know if you've been to Southfork.
They watched Dallas.
Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just
for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the
Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will
be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it
is.
It's Texas.
Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the
dirt and he'll know what it is.
What happens if I show you a picture of any other state?
You'll get it maybe after a second, but who else would?
Even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this little rock the Good Lord put us on,
there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get
up on a horse or ride in a pickup.
There is some bit of Texas in everyone.
Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go,
"Wow...so you're from Iowa? Cool, tell me about it?"
Do you know why? Because there's no place like Texas.
Texas is the Alamo.
Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican
nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save
themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom.
We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and
David Crockett and do you know why?
Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be
heroes.
John Wayne paid to do the movie himself.
That is the Spirit of Texas.
Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto.
Texas is June teenth and Texas Independence Day.
Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest.
Texas is breathtaking mountains in Big Bend.
Texas is shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.
Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork.
Texas is Mexican food like nowhere in the world, even Mexico.
Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards and the Bass Hall.
Texas is larger-than-life legends like Willie Nelson and Buddy Holly,
Earl Campbell and Nolan Ryan, Denton Cooley and Michael DeBakey, Sam
Rayburn, George Bush, and George W. Bush.
Texas is great companies like Dell Computer and Compaq.
Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.
Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies,
and modern cities.
By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at
the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the
Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, or
California, or Maine, and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17. You
fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Pine Tree High in Longview at 20 feet,
the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet.
Do you know why? Because we place being a Texan as high as being an American
here.
Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol
building in Washington, D.C.
We included these things in as part of the deal when we came on. That's the
best part right there.
WHEN WE CAME ON...
Texas was its own country. The Republic of Texas.
Every time I think of that I tear up.
It makes you proud to be a Texan!
If you are a REAL TEXAN, ...
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it
no matter what time of the year.
6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store.
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
flower, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
9. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
10. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe-hunting" are.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
14. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but
requires 6 pages for football and hockey.
15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
17. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm,"
18. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and
Christmas.
19. You know whether another Texan is from southern, middle, or northern
Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 500 or more.
21. Going to Walmart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or
off to "Wally World"
22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili
weather.
23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor.
24. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends no matter
where they live in case they are planning to visit.
A wise man once said, "Never ask a man where he's from;
if he's from Texas, he WILL tell you.
If not, there's no need to embarrass him!"...
"A wise man once said, "Never ask a man where he's from;
if he's from Texas, he WILL tell you.
If not, there's no need to embarrass him!"... "
Funny you should mention this. I am one of six kids. Three of us were born in San Antonio Texas, the other three in New Jersey after my father was transferred "up north" as our Texas relatives would say. I've always felt happier for some reason being able to say I was born in Texas instead of having to admit I was born in NJ.
I loved traveling from NJ to Texas every year to visit the "kinfolk". I loved the pecan, cottonwood and fig trees in my grandmother's yard and that we would have cantaloupe and biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Her breakfast table was literally the only place where I'd eat fig preserves on my biscuits - I wouldn't touch a fig at home, but while I was in Texas, for some reason, I loved figs.
I also loved that my uncles all called me "Sugar" and wore cowboy boots and hats. One had a Texas shaped belt buckle. They all drank Lone Star beer because one of them worked at the brewery. They had names like Porky, Bennie Mac, Leon, Dale and Happy. My aunts were called Thelma and Ida Belle and Johnnie and Lurlene. When I'd talk about my aunts and uncles and call them by name in NJ, everyone thought I was making the names up - but those are some real Texan names. You don't hear them much anywhere else.
We'd leave NJ to travel to Texas every summer - and when we'd arrive, the hot winds, slower pace and huge shade trees made me feel as if we'd traveled to another, somehow more exotic country. It was a place where we'd "fix" or "help" our plates, make Big Red floats with vanilla ice-cream and catch fireflies (instead of lightening bugs). Even with all the macho bull****, I have to say I'm proud to be a native Texan. I get what you're saying Edgar... and to add to your list of Texan treasures - Stevie Ray Vaughn, Lyle Lovett, and San Antonio's river walk.
Don't forget Janice Joplin, a li'l lady I loved.
King Ranch, located in south Texas, is one of the world's largest ranches. It was founded in 1853 by Captain Richard King and occupies almost 825,000 acres (3,340 km²) in six counties of Texas, including most of Kenedy County. The ranch is larger than the state of Rhode Island. The site was designated a National Historic Landmark in 1961.
The ranch used animal husbandry to create the Santa Gertrudis, one of the first American breeds of beef cattle. King Ranch also raises quarter horses, cutting horses and thoroughbreds and produced the 1950 Kentucky Derby winner, Middleground. In addition, the King Ranch company also operates a local museum, maintains other property concerns and works with Texas A&M University to perform agricultural research and development.
In 1997, Ford Motor Company added a King Ranch edition to their F-series Super Duty truck line, complete with the King Ranch cattle brand logo.
And in case anyone's curious, I'm not from Texas.
The King Ranch is very close to my old stomping ground as a teenager.
edgar the stench of bush will fade and Texas will once again be extremely cool.
Thank you, Noddy. I like that.
I love being from Texas. OK, technically I wasn't born here, I was born in Clovis NM on Canon AFB but that was only because my dad was in the airforce and thats where they shipped him. Other than that it's been Texas. I lived In New Jersey for 3 years while attending art school and then moved right back. Nobody up there would believe me that the entire state of NJ was smaller than the county I lived in (Harris), and that it took 4 hours to drive from one end of NJ to the other and it took just under 4 hours to drive across Houston. The only thing I miss is the snow, it would be nice to see the white stuff down here more often than once every 10 years. I live just 20 minutes west of Houston. All of the phrases above are true (except for the lingerie part we girls know how to keep the guys interest!). I too have been to the King ranch many times and find it a beautiful place. I love the fact that we were once our own country and that every year when congress reconvenes our congressmen stand up and announce that "No, Texas will not secede this year" just because we know we can.
edgar - I try to never confuse the people of a place, with their government, or with a few "representatives".
And being mobile, I am tempted to live a year or more in Texas.
Got any suggestions... a few months here, a couple months there,... to see what so much of Texas is like, and about?
What is there that is "not to be missed" and "you just gotta", or
that "you really want to understand..."?
Your opinion? Anyone?
Always lookin. -CB-
Codeborg - I agree with Edgar - the Mexican food - if you're into that- is primo in Texas. If you're not a vegetarian - try the chicken enchiladas. Again, if you're not a vegetarian and like good, old-fashioned greasy food now and then, try the chicken-fried steak with milk gravy - mashed potatos and biscuits. I'm not a huge food addict - but I do have my favorites down there. They also grow amazing cantaloupes.
My other grandmother used to live in Buffalo - this tiny little east Texas town further north as you travel from San Antonio. The landscape that way is just incredibly beautiful. Even as a child, I was always struck by it, and when I've gone back that way as an adult, I still feel its magic.
Austin is a cool town too. The gulf is nice, but watch out for jellyfish and be careful if you burn - the sun is incredibly strong down there. Have a good trip!
I suggest either South Padre Island or Austin and the hill country (Willie Nelson territory).
The food we have here is more properly termed Tex-Mex. True interior-Mexico cuisine is quite different.
For some awsome Tex-Mex, try San Antonio.
Right, Drew Dad. I lived there some decades ago. The food is excellent.
Isn't Amarillo the home of that restaurant with the 72oz. steak challenge ? If you can eat it in one sitting, it's free ? Maybe The Tall Texan, or something like that.
I've never been to Amarillo.
There is a restaurant here in little Tomball offering a hamburger so large, it would normally make a meal for four persons. The reward for eating it within so many hours is your name on a wall of "fame."
If you have never been to Amarillo, not only should you not feel deprived, you should make every effort to keep your record unblemished. Whoever coined the expression "middle of nowhere" was obviously from Amarillo.
There may be several other "rewards" for eating obscene amounts of meat, but I won't go there.
The town I was born in, Miles, lies exactly seventeen miles from Ballinger in one direction and seventeen miles from San Angelo in the other. My family was camped in a cotton patch, living ina tent, when they had to call a doctor out of retirement long enough to deliver me. Soon after, we moved on. I never returned to miles, but recently I looked it up on the internet. There has been little or no development there in the past 62 years, it looks like, but they did mention a restaurant of some fame that's on a dude ranch. I keep toying with the idea of using one of my vacation weeks to drive there and eat and look the place over.
Quote: I keep toying with the idea of using one of my vacation weeks to drive there and eat and look the place over.
Will you take a tent? Or just a camera?
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