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Fri 13 May, 2005 05:21 am
hello all I am so in love with my wife to be, it is really scary because I am so in love it is effecting my daily life. I am at the job I was at during college part time and I paint. This does not make very much money, but we have plenty of time together. Now I am looking to start our future together so I need to make some more money. The only problem is that I am so used to seeing her everyday all the time that it is hard to find a job that wont compromise our time (duh). She works overnight so any day job I get would kill our time together. I want us to make money for a house etc, but I am not very materialistic and I value our happiness and time together more than anything. My question, I guess is, how to deal with working and having enough time to be together while were both working. Any working/relationship stories are welcome and appreciated. I suspect that some jokes may be posted to this, but I understand. I am not the stereotype of a male I am very sensitive and in love almost love sick. Any remedies?
One of the most important things for a young couple to do, is to think in terms of a lifetime, not just right now. There are things that you want to accomplish, like buying a home. That entails working, and saving money, so that you may achieve your goal.
My father used to say that love is wonderful, but when the milkman rings the bell (just shows you how far back I go) he wants his money, and is not interested in how much I love someone. I think that was very wise advice. Love wears very thin when you have to deal with the day to day dreariness of grinding poverty.
So think in terms of the future. What do you want your life to be with your wife some years from now? What do you want to accomplish? A home? children? Use your young years to prepare for the future. You need to understand that the mark of a mature person is the ability to delay gratification for a greater goal. Your fiancee is not running away. If you really love her, you want to be able to make a comfortable life for you both, even if in means seeing less of each other in the short range.
Good advice, Phoenix. I would add that you should make the most of the time you do have together. You sound like the kind of guy that can be very romantic. She's a lucky girl. Be careful not to smother her though.
I always say that love is more important than money, and it is. However, like Phoenix said, it doesn't pay the bills, and when you can't pay your bills the arguing starts. Over food costs, rent, utilities, cable etc. Any activities outside the home stop because you have to pay rent, not go see a movie. Trust me...I've been there and both my hubby and I were miserable. I think he went to work to get away from the home and it's stress.
There can be things to sacrifice if you want to work less and see her more but you need to be willing to sacrifice them. Cable, internet, eating out...all things to cut out of your budget to put towards needed things when you are working less.
I don't think that you will be making a wise decision if you don't build a stable ground now while you are young. Good luck.
exactly!!!! thats what im battling with thank you all so much for your responses and what you say is what I know, I just need to get focused and get my ass in gear. im not lazy by any means just not 100% ready to "grow up" Im gettin there and really tryin. I have seen money break the greatest people it is true so that is a major part of keepin the relationship from going sour. Again thanks and any more comments are welcome and appreciated thank you in advance
When I first got married, whe worked days and I worked nights. Most times we would see eachother for a few minutes in the morning and a few more minutes at night. One of my bosses had the same arrangement with his wife. He would alsways joke and say "That's how why we're still married... we never see eachother."
He was joking, but there is a little truth to the matter. I found that the time I did get to spend with her I really valued and took advantage of.
She works full time? You work part time because you love her and your art so much? Does she mind supporting your art?
yes she's full time and found her nitch, and no she doesnt mind supporting my art, but i mind i wanna be some sort of "man" and leave her the option to stay home with kids later in life if she wants. Also, the money I make is by no means stable the art I sell is hit and miss "not steady income." I'm workin ideas to make it more profitable, but it may never be steady. I just feel if I'm doing something that takes away from our time it should be worth it to me. Financiallly it is of course, but who like work it's a double edged sword. I'm just tryin to deal with growin up. To live u must work or inherit or win the lotto and not blow it all. hahahahahaah
Abe, have you considered painting-by-numbers as a career choice? You may not achieve the recognition you're looking for, but the money is good, and the painting is some of the easiest **** I've ever encountered.
In case you're not familiar with the concept: They give you a design with the outline already sketched in. Plus, there are numbers indicating which colors should be used, e.g., #6 requires a yellow, # 9 a blue.
It's really quite simple, and, as I said, lucrative.
So, you make the cash and keep the broad happy. But you have to sacrifice your artistic integrity.
Small price to pay.
I'm glad I could help. If you would like me to be considered your mentor.... I'm cool with that.
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