I Have NO LIFE

kalanagg00 - Can you talk to your parents? Do you have any hobbies or interests that have clubs at your school that you could join?

Kalanagg--

Welcome to A2K.

I'm a little baffled by this statement:



Who are "they"?

Can you please tell us your age,and/or what grade you are in school?

This is a very hard situation for you. Sometimes though, when the opinion of others matters too much to us, we open ourselves up for people to cause us pain. You may want to ask yourself the question why these people, especially online, matter. Why are they worthy of YOUR friendship? Having one or two good friends can be more satisfying in the long run than having 20 pseudofriends.

Another thing- neediness tends to drive people away. The more you need people, often times the less they, as a mass, want to deal with you. Self confidence and self reliance are things that draw others to you. Since many people suffer from a degree of self doubt, this may be standing in your way. You might need to either find more self confidence (therapy might help) or fake having it.

I'm sure your eyebrows raised at fake having it.. but think about it. The only things people know about you are what you show them. If you show them a shy, quite person who makes odd remarks at times, that is who they know you as. If you go to a new situation and make it a point to approach everyone, talk and interact while trying to keep the odd remarks down, these people will see you as outgoing, self confidant and friendly.

It is very scary the first time you do it. As a natural introvert, I found it to be almost more than I could manage. I had to pretend to be another person for a few weeks. Once I got over the beginning hump, it was easy. Now unless people know me well, they have no clue that I am shy. My friendliness coupled with the fact that I don't CARE if people like me or not, has drawn a lot more people to me as friends.

Why don't you join a book group, hobby group or sports team outside of your normal area (where people do not have expectations of who you are) and practice being a confident, outgoing person. It may take a while to get right. You're learning new ways of doing things. Over time, it will become easy and second nature to you.

As for them calling you gay, if you are, the mature answer is, "Yes, and your point is?" *impish smile* The immature answer, and one I'd probably give, is to congratulate them for recognizing one of their own kind, as it takes one to know one. If you are not gay, calmly say, "Actually, my sexual orientation is towards women." A mature person would stop there. Me being not the height of maturity (although I do try..) would add, "Don't worry, as you get older you'll have more luck identifying others who share your sexuality."

Very well said, SandzCatz. I fully agree.

I, too, had to practice approaching people for quite a while. I started with asking for the time, always saying a full sentence to sales people etc.