The governmental regulation of everything.

I have already sent a letter to every representative in Texas volunteering myself, kickycan, Gus and Frank Apisa as an inspection committee. We would meet with each high school cheerleader squad and watch their routines, several times if neccessary, to determine if any part of said activity was lascivious. or lewd or suggestive or reminded us of that weekend at the Hubba Lubba Boogaloo Exotic Dancers Exstravanza which we attended a couple of weeks ago as a research mission.

Each Texas squad will spend the weekend at the Holiday Inn in San Angelo, Texas where I have been running a tab since 1968. A swimsuit (optional) contest will be held on Saturday afternoon sponsored by the Independent Cheerleader Hula Hoop Olympic Training Committee.

Mothers of all the participants, especially former Cheerleaders, are of course, welcome to assist us in the judging of what form of jiggling, whiggling, shaking, baking or raking is not acceptable in polite society.

Joe(Pass the Budweiser)Nation

PS I have suggested to my friend Rev. Bub (Boo) Reilly that we start looking at the concept of "having fun", it seems like it might be a good place to look for unsuitable behavior.

Can I still get on your team, Joe? I sooo want to be a judge in a Texas jiggle contest. I mean, I feel a moral obligation to help clean up any hint of salaciousness in the otherwise all-American practice of leading the cheers.

Rah! Rah! Ree!
Kick 'em inthe knee!
Rah! Rah! Raz!
Kick 'em in the other knee!

You are very welcome to join us, M A.

Here's a thought. Shouldn't weather forecasts be limited in some way as to the number of depressing predictions they make. It's important to the economy that the beachs be full every weekend, so if these activist predictors start trying to say that " It will be mostly cloudy with a chance of rain." that seems to me to be a seditious act of some sort, right?

Joe(Gray Skies are going to clear up)Nation

Seditious? Verging on treasonous, I'd say. And thank you for including me in that worthy coterie of concerned individuals who are so intent on clearing up this outrageous behavior.

How you gonna be able to tell if the routine is sexually suggestive without Slappy as your "pegometer".

I suppose that depends on whether they would let Slappy even into Texas. I bet they have a law for that too. Or if they don't, they dang well should.

The problem is sensitivity. While some of us can watch hours of high school seniors jumping, leaping, doing splits, lining up to do the move called "the booty hammer" and keep a certain sense of decorum, others have to be told to keep their hands to themselves, and then be told to take their hands off of that too.

Take this simple test:
Five Texas cheerleaders have just finished their routine and are now standing next to you glistening with perspiration. Do you :
A. Congratulate them on the completion of a very difficult move- the Money Maker Earthquaker.
B. Keep staring, speechless, wondering if those little blond hairs on the twin's backs continue down any further.
C. Laugh uproariously when Amanda-Sue says "My thong kept riding up, so I took it off. Did anybody notice?"
D. Offer to pat them dry with your tongue.

Joe(give this some thought) Nation

I'm appalled that you guys are "having fun" with the Texas state regulation of "sexually suggestive" cheerleading.

Don't you know that it's the God-given perogative of the Religious Right and the Moral Majority to impose their views on the rest of society via the power of the state? It is their mission to clean up the United States and make us a moral people. No amoral or unclean behavior can be allowed. Scrutinizing the suggestive jiggling of cheerleaders is only the beginning.

Now that the religious right is finally in power, it won't be long before we take America back to the days of Ward and June Cleaver--when men wore the pants in the family and women wore respectable-length dresses while they cooked and cleaned.

And a good thing it is, too, Debra. It's about time we got to the core values of this country, like whuppin' slaves and sellin' cotton and a-puttin' people in the stocks and pillaries and...and...I forget what else.

I like to be the first to apologize.


You're right to be concerned, with the amount of power held presently by the radical religious right, they could make a serious effort to reform us. It could be though, this effort to sanitize cheerleading, is the first nail in the re-arisen Puritans' coffin. Americans are funny when it comes to their freedom to be themselves, they like it, and every time some Temperance League or Homemaker's Association for Decency in Television or, what's the real one's name down there in Alabama or Mississippi?--Media Watch something--, starts railing for stricture the Nation's eyes glaze over.

Joe(Let's not wait and see. Call the FCC. Tell'em to shut up.)Nation

LOL

Yes. Give them enough rope and they hang themselves.

As soon as they start passing laws that allow the missionary position only (because all other sexual positions are dirty, ya know) and start placing cameras (the puritan eye) in our bedrooms to ensure compliance, I have no doubt that Americans will be racing to the polls to vote the morality police out of office.