French restaurants: Ordering without looking like a dolt

George, I was advised--I think by Littlek--to try an inexpensive red wine. I think it was called Big House Red. I found it and was pleased by the price: $9.99. When I got it home and opened it, I was surprised, to say the least, that the top SCREWED OFF. Nevertheless, it WAS good as a table wine. Try it...far better than my old student-day favorites, Ripple and Thunderbird, and Gallo with meals. Forget muscatel; I know an alcohoic who killed herself with that devil juice.

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Oh, you guys are so farf out.

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Thank you, JL. For me "inexpensive" is the key word.

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The Big Cross-eyed Bird wrote:

farf - is that french for fart?

No, the french for fart is pet . . .

Un homme entrer dans un ascenseur, et il voit une femme de très, très belle . . . et il sent une odeur très forte . . . donc, il sourit un peu à Mlle, en lui donnant un clin d'oeil . . . mais elle lui donne un regard sévère, et il dit:

"Mlle, quelle pétulance . . ."

et elle lui dit

"Monsieur, il ne faut pas me tutoyer"

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Setanta, I'm impressed by your knowledge of French, but I would be even more impressed if you spoke English with a French accent.

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Ze zhoke onlay verk een Franche, Zhay Elle . . .

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Oh, I'm SO turned on. Don't even care about your gender...or species.

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You wouldn't happen to be the reincarnation of Gomez Addams, would you?

'Cause i ain't Tish, so back off . . .

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Damn! how I hate rejections, even by nerds.

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cjhsa wrote: I

Quote:

sure hope she isn't going to say British food. "Cuisine" it is not.

"Cuisine", maybe not. But traditional British cooking includes dishes that - properly cooked - are fit to be compared with any "cuisine" in the world. The trouble is that they are almost never cooked properly in commercial establishments; so unless you are lucky enough to know a good British cook who likes you enough to invite you home, you are never likely to eat a perfect steak and kidney pudding or toad-in-the-hole, a jugged hare, a baked custard with just the right amount of nutmeg, kedgeree, a pigeon pie with claret and anchovies, or angels on horseback. Poor, poor you.

Not to mention cakes and buns: Wiltshire lardy cake, Sally Lunns, maids of honour, Cornish cream tea with home-made scones..

And don't even start me on cheeses: traditional English cheeses (and an increasing new wave of modern ones) are the equal of anything in the world. Especially when eaten with good English apples, which are sublime.

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pigeon pie with anchovies?

Shocked

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You start by simmering a few anchovy fillets in a pint (about half a litre) of red wine till they dissolve. It makes a wonderful rich dark spicy sauce; you wouldn't guess it contained anchovies unless someone told you. You wrap your pigeon breasts in fat bacon (pigeon on its own is very dry meat), and cook it in the sauce with plenty of fresh sweet herbs (such as parsley, marjoram, savory, thyme) for about an hour. Then put on a lid of pastry (short crust or puff pastry, whichever you prefer), brush it over with red wine, and cook it half an hour more.

This wine-and-anchovy sauce dates from the 18th century in British cookery. Several of the bottled sauces now sold commercially in Britain are based on it - Harvey's sauce, Worcestershire sauce, HP Sauce. It is good with other meats, too; if you have no pigeons, try it with beef, or beef and mushrooms. You won't regret it.

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syntinen wrote:

cjhsa wrote: I
Quote:
sure hope she isn't going to say British food. "Cuisine" it is not.

"Cuisine", maybe not. But traditional British cooking includes dishes that - properly cooked - are fit to be compared with any "cuisine" in the world. The trouble is that they are almost never cooked properly in commercial establishments; so unless you are lucky enough to know a good British cook who likes you enough to invite you home, you are never likely to eat a perfect steak and kidney pudding or toad-in-the-hole, a jugged hare, a baked custard with just the right amount of nutmeg, kedgeree, a pigeon pie with claret and anchovies, or angels on horseback. Poor, poor you.

Not to mention cakes and buns: Wiltshire lardy cake, Sally Lunns, maids of honour, Cornish cream tea with home-made scones..

And don't even start me on cheeses: traditional English cheeses (and an increasing new wave of modern ones) are the equal of anything in the world. Especially when eaten with good English apples, which are sublime.

The Empire strikes back!

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JL - glad you liked that wine! It's still my old stand-by. Another good, cheap red wine is one called Red Truck.

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Wow, this thread is an unwieldy beast, isn't it? You never know where it's going to go next. I like it. Interesting stuff.

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I once had amazing scones and cream at the Victoria-Albert Museum. I dream about it sometimes.

When in France, my friend and I realized after years of classes we could read French, but not speak it. We often got what we wanted by drawing little pictures of the desired item on a paper napkin. Ketchup bottles are shaped the same everywhere.

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Littlek. Have you tried Charles Shaw's red wines (two buck Chuck) from Trader Joe's. It's a very adquate table wine and cheaper than Big House Red (was THAT the name?). And it even comes with a cork.

I'm eager to try the red wine-anchovy sauce, Syn.

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Re screwcapped wine bottles:

This used to be a sign of rock-bottom quality in wine, but no longer. Wine producers have begun to realise that screwcaps do just as good a job as corks for wines that aren't meant to be kept in bottle for decades. This is bad news for the Portuguese, whose cork-oak forests are a unique wildlife habitat which will be completely redundant if corks go out of fashion, but good news for wine-lovers who won't find their wine spoiled by the fungal infection that corks occasionally get.

The French wine producers are being traditionalist about this, naturally, and the Portuguese obviously have an interest in using corks. But the New World winemakers are going in for screwcaps in a big way. In New Zealand, particularly - where they make some very classy wine indeed - it looks as though corks will be quite a rarity in a year or so.

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I've lost more wine to bad corks than most have drunk in their entire life. All hail screwtops!

http://www.bonnydoonvineyard.com

I need to drop in there for a tasting, maybe Sunday.

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Syn, that's news to me. I'm open.

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French restaurants: Ordering without looking like a dolt

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