Once a Cheater ALWAYS a Cheater?

On the basis of the predictability of human conduct, would you say : never a cheater, never a cheater?

I think that there are some people who cheat and lie pathologically. There are other people who cheat out of genuine conflicted feelings and circumstance. The latter, if caught, probably don't repeat. The former are like snakes -- expect them to bite because that's what they do.

I agree with Freeduck. There are as many different reasons why people cheat, as there are differences in individuals. For some, cheating is a way of life. For others, the cheating may just "save" a marriage, by giving the one who cheats some relief from a situation that is otherwise untenable. In other cases, a person may be caught off guard, and have a momentary slipup, which may never happen again.

I don't think that you can make a blanket statement about the motivations and behavior of people who are unfaithful to their partners.

I think some of the male cheaters stop when their package atrophies. Women cheaters continue until they're pushed into the grave.

I think that all that can be said is once a cheater, once a cheater. Hence, I agree with Phoenix.

BTW. Phoenix, I got your PM but don't have PM status yet so I couldn't return the hello.

Ok, now what do you guys considering cheating? Sex, a kiss, a hug, sitting on someone's lap and flirting.... So many people think so many different things, what do you think?

I think it varies from person to person. There are many people that do it pathologically. My ex is one of them. My boyfriends ex is also one of them. I agree with what the other people have said.
I personally think of cheating as having sex with someone else, whom you are not in a relationship with.

I think it does not vary so much from person to person as from situation to situation. I belive every person can imagine a situation in which they could consider infidelity and naturally this applies much more to men than to women, because they are by nature more driven to it and thus tend to have more situations (read: opportunities). A cheater practically always cheats in the expectation or hope that their partner will not find out and therefore if they find themselves in a similar situation where chances of being found out are suitably limited, they will do it again.

Re: Once a Cheater ALWAYS a Cheater?

Absolutely, yes. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

"Cheater" is a label that we apply to someone. It has less to do with how they are, but mostly to do with us. We are doing the labelling according to our perceptions and beliefs about how the world works. And we don't like to think beyond a simple model or blind rule. Certainly, no one can conform to a label all the time (especially the simpler stereotypes!) but we still insist on using them.

Once we label someone, it's very difficult to remove it. Our mind is made is up. We expect them to cheat. Therefore they are a cheater.

They can give up drugs, get a new career, go back to school, build great relationships, dedicate themselves in many ways and create wonderful things in the world ... but their reputation is tarnished. It's over.

The person is not stuck. Our judgement is stuck.
The person is not dishonest. Our stereotyping of them is dishonest.
We don't understand how they can go about living their own lives, without doing what WE want them to.
And because they don't conform to our uninformed expectations we put them down and label them.

We expect them to cheat, so that's that. They will always be cheaters.

i would say that someone who has cheated once will not nessasarily do it again. it really depends on the circumstances. i think that if you are with someone, and they cheat, and you forgive the infidelity. the chances are they will cheat again, because they have suffered no consequences for their action. if their reasoning was stress, boredom...hmmm what else, lack of sex w/ partner...uhm...IT JUST HAPPENED!!! IT MEANT NOTHING!!!! lol. i honestly think those are just excuses, and to go to the extream by cheating, insted of trying to work out your problems, shows a behavior problem. Would kind of make me feel like the relationship wasn't important to him or her. so, i think the chance of the person who cheated and was forgiven ,to do it again is rather high. I think ppl who have cheated, and suffered consequences to their actions, like losing someone they did truly love, probably have learned a painfull life lesson, and would be less likely to cheat again.

oh and my idea of cheating, would be if my partner even decided to take anouther woman out on a date, with the intention of getting to know her better on a personal level, even if nothing happens.
i'm not talking about friendships he has had. but even a female friend would start to erk me, if he made it seem like alone time with her was a top priority. maybe its not full blown cheating, but just the idea that the intention to cheat would cause me to think twice about our relationship. full blown cheating would ofcourse be intercourse...but there are different degrees of cheating. just like burns...hahahaha...hmmm and murder charges.....

I'm pragmatic and I'm realistic - if they have done if to you once, they can do it again - and I'm willing to bet its probable, more than non probable. I would divorce the guy immeidately - no buts or second chances.

cheaters
Hi I just found out on sat. that my boyfriend of 5 yrs cheated on me 4 yrs ago with his ex girlfriend.

Is there a chance that it will happen again if he were to ever see her again?

He says I shouldn't be mad because it was so long ago.

What really sucks is that I was pregnant with his kid at the time.

Do you think that if I wasn't pregnant he would have just went back to her?

Do you think that he put himself in a situation with her on purpose because he wanted to be with her?

I cant stop thinking about this and I am going crazy!!!!!!! I need someone to talk to sooooo bad.

Becky

no way, you could see a really really really hot girl and have to cheat. i'd say once a cheater then a probability of being a cheater again but that probabillty will vary based on circumstances.

I have cheated in every relationship I have been in. Sometimes its a year into the relationship before I give in but it always happens. Its like I can't help myself when I see a really hot guy or if I go to the beach and meet someone I will never see again I may make out with them or even go all the way. I don't want to continue this but its like I can't help it. I don't know whats wrong with me. I always have a reason for doing it like im not satisfied and I try to break up with my boyf at the time but they don't want to. I am hoping to fall deeply in love with the guy I am seeing now and this bad habit of cheating will end. I also think now that I'm older (23) I have a more mature way of thinking and not as quick to do anything "because its my life" as I was before.

Becky-- Sorry for what you are going through. Do you know if he is still seeing her?

i agree that if someone cheats in a previous relationship then they have a 50% chance of cheating again, maybe without you even suspect that something is happening.