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Thu 5 May, 2005 01:21 pm
Is this sentence correct? This golf masterpiece has the golfer encounter 62 strategically placed bunkers, several lakes and streams throughout this links style course.
I am in disagreement with my co-worker. She says that you can not use "has" in the sentence, so "has the golfer encounter" is incorrect. I disagree. Can you help?
Adrienne, try this --
"The golfer will encounter 62 strategically placed bunkers, several lakes and many streams on this golf masterpiece."
welcome to A2k
That sounds good, but is the original sentance incorrect?
I would say that the construction "has the golfer encounter" is not incorrect, precisely, but is colloquial and should be avoided in all but the most informal writing. "The golfer will encounter" is an excellent alternative.
Single subject/single predicate: "Masterpiece" is singular and takes "has".
Incidently, among pedants, the title of your thread would be:
"I need to know whether the sentence is correct.
I believe that among pedants there would be disagreement as to whether "whether" or "if" is preferrable. There would also be those who would opt for "whether or not".
The original statement is correct....yet oddly, I find it very difficult to read. As we know commas are used to delineate members in lists of 3 or more (and you do have 3 members) and you have omitted the comma before the and (which is optional)...but reading it, my mind strongly expects more in the list. I can't tell you why. I feel that if you removed the word 'several', the 'mental illusion' would disappear. Does anyone else agree?
On the issue of whether: "whether or not" certainly sounds better to me, but whether by itself is correct and possibly the preferred usage?
I agree with stuh505 that "62 strategically placed bunkers, several lakes and streams" is a very awkward-sounding list, and it is wholly unclear whether "several" refers to (a) both lakes and streams or (b) just lakes.
If (a), then how about "several lakes and streams, and 62 strategically placed bunkers"?
If (b), I suggest "streams, several lakes and 62 strategically placed bunkers".
Or add an adjective or adjectival phrase indicating how many streams there are: "62 strategically placed bunkers, several lakes and [five/many/a number of] streams". This is not only perfectly clear but balances the list; each noun is qualified.