When is a child ready to decide on their own to be baptized?

My stepdaughter Han called us over the weekend and said she was getting baptized, May 21st.

Han comes over everyother weekend, when she called she asked if she could skip that weekend because she was getting baptized. My husband being the typical father got excited and said great she could still come over and we would go with her. She said okay and they hung up.

When he got off the phone he was so excited and said that Han was getting baptized. I said that was great, and then asked if he thought she was ready. She is 10 years old and goes to a Christian church a few days a week while she's with her bio mom. We take all our kids to church on Sundays (not every Sunday.. but we try).

The point is I don't think she is old enough to make that decision and definitely doesn't understand what it really means to be baptized.
Let me explain. Just last weekend when she was with us, I asked her to take a ceramic planter out into the garden. She opened the sliding door and all I heard was a big "crack"... I called out from the kitchen for her to be careful and she said Okay... A few seconds later she comes walking back in and says, "Mom how is he suppose to stand with a broken foot?" I told her he didn't have a broken foot, she argued with me that he did.. I asked her to bring it in so I could see... When I saw it I asked her if she hit it on the wall on her way out... "No", she said... "It was like that".

I asked her to look for the missing foot... next to the wall where she hit it. She finally found it and brought it over to the kitchen... She started saying that it was okay because all we had to do was glue his foot back. Just as I was getting ready to tell her to be careful when she put it down on the tile floor, another crack... She broke his head. I said, Han just leave it there and I'll take care of it. My husband was right around the corner and came running when he heard the crack... He asked her what happened and she said she didn't know. She looked him straight in the face and said, "His head just fell off". He was really upset because she is always lying about one thing or another.

So having said all that, I asked him if he thinks she is ready or if he should explain to her what it really means. I have two boys who were baptized at a Catholic church when they were babies. One day my husband and I were talking about this just in general and he said he didn't think that baptizing babies was right because they don't understand and they are born innocent.

I told him that in the Catholic religion that is just a tradition…because you are offering your child to God. He started telling me that children needed to be older so they could understand what it meant and why they were getting baptized. So now here we are. I told him that I was happy Han is ready to accept Jesus into her life, but the question still remained.. is she really ready?

He also had a 19 year old who isn't doing very well. We don't know where she is or who she's with. She goes from boyfriend to boyfriend, sleeping from one friend's house to another and doing only God knows what… I asked him if the oldest daughter had been baptized.. He said no. I then asked why not, and that maybe that was a good thing. I told him that when she is ready to totally accept God she will choose to be baptized. It will mean A LOT more having gone thru some life experiences.. Good and bad. But she will come to that all on her own, on her own time.

He was really upset, I wasn't trying to rain on his parade but I don't think she is ready. I asked if he had talked with her mom about it… NO. So he called Han's mom and asked what prompted the baptism? She said that the teachers at Sunday school passed out cards and asked the kids to fill them out if they wanted to be baptized.

"That's it," I said. So neither you nor her mom have talked to Han about it, no adult was involved in making that decision. What? He said that Han was ready to accept Jesus into her heart and that's all that should matter. Okay, I said. Then when she turns 16 like the other one and tells you she decided to drop out of school your going to stand by and let her do that? No answer.

My boys and I are now going to a Christian church with my husband. I tell my boys that they should wait until they are in their teen years to choose to be baptized. I want them to learn that life is hard and they have to learn how to handle the everyday struggles they will be faced with. I tell them it's never too late to accept Jesus into you heart, but when you do accept him you have to be ready to accept him completely. They understand (some of it) and ask lots of questions but they admit they are not completely ready because they have so many more questions.

So, am I wrong to ask him to talk to Han and ask her if she completely understands what it means? Is she ready, how can a child that young breaking so many commandments every day be ready? It's not just the lying although she does it a lot… She walks around reciting bible verses then turns around and does just the opposite. Is it wrong for him to ask her to wait? Shouldn't her mom and dad have been involved in the decision? At minimum shouldn't Han have consulted with her bio mother? Please help I don't want them to resent me for this. Have I over stepped my place?

oops... put that in twice.