Questions for females

Welcome!

First of all, what does she like? Foot rub, back rub? Dinner? Flowers? Movie night snuggling? Do something she likes. Something that is special to her. I personally would be butter if my hubby was making me dinner, followed by a nice backrub and then snuggling while watching a movie.

Second, as for satisfying her in bed....what makes you think she is unsatisfied? Does she not orgasm? If that is the case, try oral sex. If she isn't into that then try using your hands and "romancing" her before you get to the sex act. I mean, REALLY go for it....touch kiss stroke caress lick every part of her body...concentrating on the parts she likes best. Make it HER night. Concentrate on her completely. Maybe you can buy some toys. Body Butter, Body Paints, feathers, vibrators....there are so many things out there to enhance your sex life. But the most important thing to remember is to focus on her. Ask her what she would like you to do most. If she won't tell you because she is embarrassed, just start experimenting and asking, "do you like it when I do this?" and sooner or later you will find the things that drive her wild! You need to get out of her what she likes...either verbally or otherwise.

Good luck to you!

Ok, the orgasm part, she has to play with herself, or use a vibrator to get herself to an orgasm. Is this normal?

I've also herd that using condoms can cause for pain due to latex, but we stoped using any. I guess I just want her to enjoy making love to me, as this might help in other area's as well??

Is it normal? I don't know. Is it common? Yes. That's why you need to get her to the point where she isn't thinking, "ok, in a few minutes I can take over and get off...." Make her think of nothing but how good you are making her feel. That's what the "romancing" is; making her forget she's not "able" to orgasm without her own stimulation. Usually, lack of orgasm has less to do with the man than it does with the woman being self-conscious or thinking too hard about it. Women are not like men. I think a man could orgasm while having sex, watching tv and doing his taxes. It's physical for you. It's mental for us. At least most of it. You have to be hitting the right spot.

Try this....after you get her going with your touch, kiss, caress, lick, etc...do just what she does when she masturbates. Mimic her movements. That way, she can get over the "I can't orgasm with him" mentality. Eventually, you can work up to other things and maybe she can orgasm during sex!

Thanks, I will try that! Do you think this has anything with me being her first for everything. I mean first bf, partner, fiance?

so your saying while we are having sex for me to use my fingers, vibrator like she does while having sex?

Don't do it while having intercourse. Just do it seperate from actual sex.

And yes, use your fingers....but try not to use the vibrator. It doesn't do permanent damage but it can temporarily desensitize so that it is difficult to orgasm without it if used frequently.

To be honest with you women can be satified with sex without ever reaching orgasm. Women view sex differently from men. Women like to feel like they are the most desirable person in the world during intercourse. Sex for women goes beyond just gratification for the body, it also involves our mind, and our emotions. The best sex involves loving and caring relationships. If you feel like you partner is left wanting in the bedroom, it probably has nothing to do with your prefomance. i think you should go through with your plans on the romantic evening for your wife, and address the stress you beleive you are causing your wife.

My guy surprised me with a bubble bath on Friday night - no reason in particular - and I'm thinking if he asked anyone for advice then kudos to whoever told him this.

He ran the bath, put some lightly scented oil and bubble bath in, lit a few candles, had a bottle of my favorite wine and a couple of my favorite chocolate truffles in a dish near the bath. When I got home he took off my shoes, undressed me and lifted me into the bath and then got in and sat behind me. He gave me a glass of wine and a truffle and then proceeded to gently wash me. I am a huge fan of having my hair stroked. He brushed my hair and then washed it (using baby shampoo so it wouldn't irritate my eyes when he rinsed, smart guy!).

Let's just say I got so randy that I nearly drowned the poor bloke!

Dave, you are so sweet! Its so nice that you are putting so much thought into making her happy!

Its the little things that i find romantic. Planning, organising, putting thought into something. Anything you do, plan it all and dont leave anything up to her deciding. If she has been through a lot of stress lately, she probably doesnt want to be thinking anything for herself. You could start off by making a romantic card, or sending an sms, leaving a message on her phone. Something you may do if you were just "dating". Tell her to wear something nice (girls love dressing up!) and you should wear your best clothes (but dont outdress her!). If you enjoying cooking, come home early and have dinner cooking in the oven whilst she gets herself ready, set the table up with nice plates etc, candles and a cd that she will like. If you dont like cooking take her out to a place you think SHE would pick. But not a place you have been before. Be a gentleman, open the car door, let her walk into the restuarant first, discuss with her what she would like for dinner-then you order. Girls like being taken care of. When you get home, play soft music and maybe sit on the couch or bed and talk. Have some oils ready on the side and ask if you can give her a nice, relaxing massage. If she is comfortable with being naked, take her clothes off and pay attention to each and every part of her body. In regards to sex, dont EXPECT to have it. This is her night and whilst you are planning and making the moves-you have to do what you think she would like. You should feel pleasure in pleasuring her.

With your question re satisfaction in bed. It takes a lot for me to orgasm when someone else is trying to do it. I think i put a lot of pressure on myself to "cum" and therefore am concentrating on that rather than actually enjoying myself. Like your partner-i can easily cum whilst touching myself. If you act as though you are enjoying yourself, she will enjoy herself more. When giving her the massage, gently touch/tease her sensative areas, whether these are her nipples, inside of her thigh or belly button-whatever you know she knows- do not go "straight in for the kill!" You have to wait until she is dying for you to touch her there! This may take a while but i know for me, it is such a turn on to have that much time and attention. Make your breathing heavier and make soft noises whilst you touch her-to show that you are enjoying yourself. The key is to take your time, dont rush it, and dont put pressure on her to orgasm or yourself to make her orgasm. You are just trying to pleasure her and you dont have to do this by making her orgasm. Once she is completely relaxed, turned on (You'll know!) and wanting more- then you can begin maybe oral sex-or maybe just more touching.

If she does orgasm, dont expect that she wants sex-she may be completely relaxed and the best thing for her is to cuddle and fall asleep in your arms. If she wants sex, make it slow. Actually make love to her.

Hope its all made sense. Let me know how you go. I know you love her-just keep remembering that you do-because if you do everything out of love- you are almost always doing the right thing! xo

That is a good answer for 99% of the time. However, sometimes you need that "fruck my brains out" kind of sex.

I concur.

oh yeah i definently agree to that too, but in his post he had stated that she was stressed, and said that he knew he was causing her stress. And usually when i am in f@#k me like an animal mode, i am the agressor, and bark orders for ruff to the point sex lol. And i am always quite satisfied afterwards, purring like a kitten lol. But, if there was problems in the relationship, he wouldn't get that out of me, i would be craving the romance , and stuff more. it's really hard to want to please your partner, when you aren't getting your needs met. and i was just saying that, the reason he felt she wasn't satisfied was probably not his prefomance in the bedroom, its probably because of some issue other than sex. Sure one night of pampering might make her feel good for a bit, but i really think the stress issue needs to be resolved, which would then insure satisfaction on both sides, in and out of the bedroom. i know that if my man wanted to make sure things were peachy with me, because he cared, and did everything he could to help, i would walk to the ends of the earth for him.