ODD, FUNNY, PECULIAR & UNBELIEVABLE news bits & pieces.

Holy Mackerel!
May 3, 2005 - 12:34PM/the AGE

A Queensland fisherman suffered the ultimate revenge when a mackerel jumped into his boat and floored him - and then got away.

In what he called a bad case of "fishy's revenge", Glen Hopper suffered bruised ribs, cuts to his face and arms and a dented ego when the 1.5m fish jumped out of the water and hit him on Sunday morning.

"It felt like I'd just run into a brick wall, because I was going 20 knots one way and it was speeding the opposite direction," the 43-year-old Sunshine Coast man said today.

"I remember it coming out the water and the next thing I knew I'm in the back of the boat winded, trying to get my breath."

Mr Hopper, who said he had set out to catch a haul of mackerel on Mooloolah River, was in his 4m tinnie when the "freakish" mishap occurred.

He said the mackerel, which he guessed weighed about 30kg, shot out of the water and into his boat, hitting him in the chin and chest.

It knocked the recreational fisher out of his seat and sent him tumbling backwards before spearing back into the water.

"I remember thinking 'What am I doing back here and how come I can't breathe?'," Mr Hopper said.

Mr Hopper, a scientist, said he had taken the day off work to recuperate from his injuries, which included grazes to his chin and arms caused by the fish's sharp fins.

He initially feared he had suffered a collapsed lung but doctors believed he was badly bruised.

A sheepish Mr Hopper said he never explained to his boss exactly why he needed the day off.

But he admitted he was something of a joke among his mates after retelling his unusual version of "the one that got away".

"It's fishy's revenge I suppose. It's been a bit of a laugh with my friends," Mr Hopper said.

"I've seen them come out of the water before but not at me."

- AAP

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It is all about the way that you look at things. There are some people, who, with a little ingenuity, can turn crap into gold!

Quote:

Man gets the poop on outsourcing By Holly McKenna
Mon May 2,12:58 PM ET

DELMAR, N.Y. (Reuters) - Computer programmer Steve Relles has the poop on what to do when your job is outsourced to India.

Relles, one of a rising number of Americans seeking new opportunities as their work shifts to countries with cheaper labor, has spent the past year making his living scooping up dog droppings as the "Delmar Dog Butler."

"My parents paid for me to get a (degree) in math and now I am a pooper scooper," Relles, a 42-year-old married father of two told Reuters. "I can clean four to five yards in a hour if they are close together."

Relles, who lost his computer programming job about three years ago, got the idea of cleaning dog dirt from people's back yards from Mark Booth, a friend in Buffalo, New York.

Relles has over 100 clients who pay $10 each for a once-a-week cleaning of their yard.

Relles competes for business with another local company called "Scoopy Do." Similar outfits have sprung up across America, including Petbutler.net, which operates in Ohio.

In the United States, there are about 63 million dogs, each producing about 23 "presents" per week, which if left can be unsafe for children and pets.

Relles says his business is growing by word of mouth and that most of his clients are women who either don't have the time or desire to pick up the droppings.

"St. Bernard (dogs) are my favorite customers since they poop in large piles which are easy to find," Relles said.

His "scooper" is a converted ice scrapper duct-taped to a ski pole. He flicks the poop into a dust pan lined with a plastic bag, then loads the waste into a large garbage can which he takes to the dump when full.

"It sure beats computer programming because it's flexible, and I get to be outside," he said.

Link to Article

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Phoenix32890 wrote:

"St. Bernard (dogs) are my favorite customers since they poop in large piles which are easy to find," Relles said.

Ah, a man who enjoys work! And getting rich, too! He's not silly! Very Happy

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... & continuing with the theme of disposal of animal poo .....:

Relief all round as cat goes potty
By Richard Macey
May 3, 2005/the AGE

http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/05/02/3n_cat_narrowweb__200x266.jpg

Doogal's bathroom habits may lead to commercial success.
Photo: Bob Pearce

It is not civilisation's biggest problem but, thanks to the ingenuity of a Sydney woman, a solution is in the can.

In January, Jo Lapidge bought her children, Ben and Sophie, a Burmese kitten. "We only had Doogal a week before I was regretting getting him," Mrs Lapidge said yesterday, recalling the smell of his litter tray and the work keeping it clean.

Then she saw the movie Meet the Fockers, featuring a cat trained to use its owner's toilet. "I thought, 'Right, I'm going to train my cat to use the toilet'."

There were plenty of potty training devices for children, but Mrs Lapidge could not find anything similar for cats. So, after two months of tinkering on 15 prototypes, she developed her first invention, Litter-Kwitter, a system of colour-coded rings.

The first step is to replace the litter tray with a red disc. Once the cat is doing its business in the middle, the disc is mounted on the toilet bowl.

When leaping onto the red disc has been mastered, it is replaced with an amber ring that has a small hole, getting kitty used to balancing over the water.

As progress is made, a green ring with a bigger hole is introduced. Finally, the rings are removed, leaving the cat to balance on the normal toilet seat.

There was little risk of drowning, Mrs Lapidge said: "Cats are very nimble."

She believed kittens could be trained in eight weeks. "Training Doogal was a lot easier than my son," she said.

Mrs Lapidge, who is seeking a manufacturer, is confident she has a commercial success, expecting her invention to sell for $80 to $140, compared with the $4000 needed for a litter tray over the course of a cat's life. She has won a place in Fresh Innovators, a national campaign highlighting new inventors, but confesses Doogal can't flush.

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msolga- I truly hope that Mrs Lapidge has more than one bathroom in her house!

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If not, she can always call on computer programmer Steve Relles, Phoenix! Laughing

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Oh, you meant where do the PEOPLE go, Phoenix? Hmmm, yes ....

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Snakes this time!:

Boy finds snake in cereal packet

LONDON: A British boy tucking into his breakfast had a nasty surprise when he discovered a 60cm snake inside his packet of cereal.

Jordan Willett, 5, thought he had found a toy when the serpent -- a harmless corn snake -- slithered out of the packet of Golden Puffs his parents had bought from discount store Netto in Telford, central England.

"It was quite long and popped its head up. I've seen snakes on TV before but never in a box of cereal," he told the Daily Mail newspaper.

Netto said today it was talking to its suppliers to review procedures and check on its stock.

"This does seem to be a bizarre incident but we are treating it seriously," said Netto trading director Clive Cooper.

Corn snakes, which feed on mice and birds, are commonly kept as pets around the world.

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This is not odd, funny or unbelievable, but I thought I'd post it anyway:

Dogged attempt at world record
May 8, 2005 - 4:12PM/the AGE

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2005/05/08/dog2_wideweb__430x327,1.jpg

Barking mad ... dogs and their owners take part in the marathon.
Photo: AP

Some 7,000 dogs and their owners gathered in the Philippines today to protest animal cruelty and to attempt to break the world record for the largest canine assembly.

That record is currently held by Britain, where in 2004 some 5,017 dogs participated in a 4.8 kilometre dog "marathon", said Filipino organiser Byron San Pedro.

The main venue of today's gathering was in Manila, where around 3,000 dogs walked for five kilometres in the city's main Roxas Boulevard snarling traffic on the way to the capital's central park.

Four thousand others held simultaneous dog marathons across the island group, San Pedro said.

"The aim of the gathering is just to air our concern, to deliver a message against cruelty to dogs," San Pedro said.

"We have watched on television that dogs are shot to death or beaten. We want to convert the country into a dog-loving nation," he said.

The march was also to protest the illegal sale of dog meat for food, a widespread practice in the Philippines.

San Pedro said representatives from the Guinness Book of Records had been informed of the feat and were to make a decision as soon as they could verify the figures.

AFP

Go, doggies!

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Now this I like! Twisted Evil

:

NAB forced to pay for overcharging
May 10, 2005 - 7:44AM/the AGE

National Australia Bank (NAB) will be forced to pay millions of dollars in compensation to almost 100,000 customers after discovering it had been overcharging them.

The bank had been slugging customers too much for at least the past five years, the Australian Financial Review reported on Tuesday.

The botched charges were discovered while the bank's chief financial officer, Michael Ullmer, was preparing for the balance sheet clean-up expected in Wednesday's half-year profit result.

The mistake would add further support for consumer groups that have called for the Reserve Bank to conduct price surveillance of bank fees, the paper reported

Hooray! Don't you just love that? Very Happy

Hate those banks!
Hate those banks!
Hate those banks!
Hate those banks! Evil or Very Mad

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Last Update: Wednesday, May 18, 2005. 8:24am (AEST)

Elderly pensioner forced to deny reports of her death

A German woman in her eighties says she has been ordered by her pension fund to produce a certificate to prove she is still alive.

Martha Kruse telephoned the Bundesknappschaft fund after her payments were suddenly stopped, only to be told by an employee: "Don't get upset, but you died on January 28."

The fund has also asked payments made to the 82-year-old to be repaid.

The employee would not accept the sound of the woman's voice as proof that she was still alive and asked her instead to produce a "life certificate".

The perplexed Ms Kruse was forced to go to the municipal authorities in her home town of Barsinghausen near Hanover, which agreed to make out the necessary document.

It charged her for the privilege.

The certificate stated that Ms Kruse was alive and well and fully able to present her identity papers.

Thomas Lieth, the head of the Bundesknappschaft fund, said Ms Kruse had been confused with another client who had died, but defended the decision to ask for proof she was alive.

"When someone just telephones us, it is not enough," Mr Lieth said.

The fund had apologised but Ms Kruse was not impressed.

"When someone makes a mistake like that, they could at least offer a bouquet of flowers," she said.

- AFP

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Banned pregnant graduate walks anyway

Wednesday, May 18, 2005, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

MONTGOMERY, Ala. -- A pregnant student who was banned from graduation at her Roman Catholic high school announced her own name and walked across the stage anyway at the close of the program.

Alysha Cosby's decision prompted cheers and applause Tuesday from many of her fellow seniors at St. Jude Educational Institute.

But her mother and aunt were escorted out of the church by police after Cosby headed back to her seat.

"I can't believe something like this is happening in 2005," said her mother, Sheila Cosby. "My daughter has been through a lot and I am proud of her. She deserved to walk, and she did."

The school's guidance counselor delivered Cosby's degree to her house earlier Tuesday, but she still wanted to participate.

"I worked hard throughout high school and I wanted to walk with my class," she said.

Cosby was told in March that she could no longer attend school because of safety concerns, and her name was not listed in the graduation program.

The father of Cosby's child, also a senior at the school, was allowed to participate in graduation.

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Bravo, Alysha Cosby! Very Happy

Hiss & boo to her so-called Christian school.

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Also hiss&boo for the Daddy who didn't compromise his moment of glory.

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Hi Noddy, what do you think the Daddy ought to have done?
(Mebbe he was supporting her there ... what did you assume?)

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Mommie is not invited to class commencement.

Daddy is invited--and accepts his diploma with great pleasure--after all, he earned it.

Will this unborn child be called a virgin birth?

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As the world's ruling power, we must enforce the darkness of the sky . . .
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=772732

US says no billboards in space

Quote:

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I'm right behind the US government on that one! Laughing

The mind boggles at the thought!

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Russian lake disappears
May 20, 2005 - 9:59AM

A Russian village was left baffled today after its lake disappeared overnight.

NTV television showed pictures of a giant muddy hole bathed in summer sun, while fishermen from the village of Bolotnikovo looked on disconsolately.

"It is very dangerous. If a person had been in this disaster, he would have had almost no chance of survival. The trees flew downwards, under the ground," said Dmitry Zaitsev, a local Emergencies Ministry official interviewed by the channel.

Officials in Nizhegorodskaya region, on the Volga river east of Moscow, said water in the lake might have been sucked down into an underground water-course or cave system, but some villagers had more sinister explanations.

"I am thinking, well, America has finally got to us," said one old woman, as she sat on the ground outside her house.

REUTERS

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