Am I a Sugar daddy Without the Sugar? Help me please

About a year ago I began a relationship of sorts with a co-worker. I am her immediate supervisor and she is 40 years my junior. I am 60 and married and she is 22.
She is bisexual and at the time we began this relationship she was in a relationship with another woman. During that time, she would only see me perhaps once a month for coffee or a quick drink.
About four months ago her relationship fell apart and we now see each other usually weekly and have nice lunches or a few drinks.
Our relationship has always been platonic and has never advanced into a sexual relationship as she says it takes her a long time to get to truly know and trust someone. We have discussed how I want her and she knows in spite of her shortcomings that I am in love with her.
I take care of all of her needs from Midol or pads when she is at work to chips or cigarettes. I buy her lunch at work every day and help her financially when she asked me if I can.
She knows I am in the process of a divorce and I have a 12 year old child that she interacts with very well and they have a wonderful time when they are together.
Now to the problem or the question at hand. I truly love this woman and she knows and acknowledges it. She also knows and acknowledges the fact that I desire her sexually very much. As I said I take care of all of her needs financially and emotionally. She lives at home with her parents and her father keeps a tight leash on her even though she is of age.
She tells me it just takes her a long time to truly trust someone and she doesn't show her emotions very well
From what I can see she is telling me the truth as I know her parents and have seen her interact with them many times. She also tells me things a woman would not normally tell a man and does little things to show me she she does care and has feelings for me. We live in a small town and when we first began seeing each other she was deathly afraid of us being seen together by someone who might know her or her father. Lately though she has changed and when we are out she could care less who sees us. She has also told me that basically her mother has figured out we are in a relationship of sorts although her father hasn't a clue.
I once gave her a quick peck on the lips several.months ago and was excoriated for it as I did not ask her permission and she felt it was inappropriate. Our relationship has never to this point moved beyond holding hands and talking. She says it will at some point, but can't say when. She simply says, "when I feel ready." This may be my fault as well because when we first started this relationship I told her I didn't think I could make the first move (because if our age difference) and it would be up to her.
Her family is moving to the other side of the country in a few months. I asked her if she would stay here and move in with me. She said she would consider it. Eventually she decided to go with her family and asked if I would relocate to where they are moving. She says if I do she will move out of her parents home and move in with me.
Now my dilemma. I calculated that I have given her about 4,000 dollars since this relationship began in cash. I did make it clear to her that this was not a loan and did not need to be re-paid.
With lunches at work I estimate I have spent an a additional 2500 to 3000 dollars. I also placed my job in severe jeopardy when I refused to transfer her to another department after my boss suspected something was going on between us.
So, my question is...based on what info I have provided, does it appear I am a sugar daddy without the sugar or do you think that perhaps for whatever reason she is simply playing hard to get?
How can I be sure she won't refuse to move in with me if I move to the other side of the country to be with her? Lastly, how can I convince her or what should I say or do to convince her that it's time for this relationship to advance to the bedroom? I don't want to use money or the lack of any additional help as the means to an end, because wouldn't that make her feel like a whore...and that's not the way I want her to feel.
I really need some advice on this matter.
Thank you.