Mutual sexual tension or not?!

Reply Sun 31 Mar, 2019 11:23 am
The situation I'm in has become very confusing in my head and I thought getting somebody else's advice / opinion on this could help. Ok.. so.. here's the deal.

Long story short... Joined a new company about 2 months ago and also moved countries because of that. I've met this girl that I work with on the same team, that from the very first minute I knew we're gonna hit it off and we did. I'm openly bisexual, married to a woman, but separated at the moment and not living together with my spouse. The other girl is probably straight (not sure really) and engaged to a guy.

The chemistry we have is off the charts, it's one of those "soulmate" things that you feel you know the other person from another lifetime or something... this is not in my head, it has been communicated between us and it's mutual. Often times, especially when we are out with work drinking (which happens almost every Friday) we focus on each other 100% to the point other people around us feel awkward or whenever they want to talk to us they always start with "Oh I'm sorry for interrupting your moment..."

Now here's the thing....
She knows I'm falling for her and I'm attracted to her. I also know she's not gonna break up with her boyfriend - future husband and to be honest, I don't even care. I know our connection is mutual (at least on the platonic level) but what I don't know and she is seriously giving me super mixed signals, is the sexual tension between us. Is it just me or that's also mutual?! And this is where I could use your opinions... I'm going to describe only the most resent night out with her (and a couple other colleagues) and you tell me what you think...

She is going to be touching me ALL the time and find ways to touch me. (By the way, because of me being openly bisexual and not wanting to give wrong impressions, I never initiate anything first with her. So she does have complete control and she knows that as well.) We will be sitting at a table opposite each other, with other colleagues next to us and she will hold my hand and kiss it every now and then while looking into my eyes in a way that to me seems lustful (but I may be crazy)... She will hug me and give me kisses on the cheek or behind my ear / neck for no apparent reason etc.. At some point, that night we ended up with 2 other colleagues at a karaoke bar where we had booked a private room.. all of us were pretty drunk for sure but things got so much out of hand, to the point that she took her pants off in front of everyone (stayed with her underwear on basically) and constantly came on me, sitting on my lap, straddle me, hug me, squeeze me, she even ******* bit my neck at some point... and ALL these (which trust me it was a lot, that's the summary) when at some point I think she might have said to me that "this is not sexual" while she was straddling me!!!

So what do you people think? To me it is obvious that everyone around us sees clearly that this is not a healthy colleagues relationship or even friendship... I'm just trying to figure out if she's just ******* with me because she knows I'm attracted to her and enjoys it or when I asked her about if this whole thing is mutual and she said YES, if the 'sexual' aspect of it was included or not on her part.

Note: No, this girl is not at all touchy-feely with anyone else. She the type of "boss-bitch" in the office and keeps her distance from people. I've never seen her touch or act like this with anybody else, not at least at work.
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Reply Sun 31 Mar, 2019 01:37 pm
I think she likes you. From her mannerisms with only you. Alcohol sometimes brings out the real you, we out here masking our feelings but when we get drunk, the mask comes off. But she's engaged to someone. She likes you and she wants to ****. But don't, this will be messy.
It might end up being awkward at work. You'll get hurt. But yes, there's sexual tension.
Reply Sun 31 Mar, 2019 02:19 pm
Thank you Lorna0492.

I'm not interested in acting out on this or ruining her relationship and I even told her that. I was just very confused and need to know if the physical attraction is also mutual or I'm living in my head... because no matter how much I try "not to make something out of nothing" her mannerisms and body language towards me speaks volumes and even makes other people around obviously uncomfortable.

But when you say to me "this is not sexual" but then act out like this what am I supposed to understand....
Reply Sun 31 Mar, 2019 08:07 pm
She is being very cruel - to you and her husband to be.

Stop allowing her to seduce you, use you, then abandon you. That’s what narcissists do.
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Reply Mon 1 Apr, 2019 02:29 pm
You know those typa times you wish you did it different? This is one of those, except I hope it won't get to that. Walk Away! Just Walk Away from that clusterfuck. Looks like trouble? Smells like trouble? it's ******* trouble. Don't sit around to find out. 😑
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Reply Wed 18 Mar, 2020 04:44 am
Probably you should know her better before you do something
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