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Tue 26 Apr, 2005 05:43 am
hey, its me again.
thankyou everyone who gave me advice last time i posted about this subject. this one is much easier to digest i promise.
it is almost three months since my boyfriend and i parted ways, but he is still in a state of violent depression.
he has seen a doctor and is now on anti-depressants, and has been told to talk to a counsellor.
my granddad passed away two days ago and im finding it impossible to cope with that and my ex's depression.
he calls me every so often which he says helps, but i'm not sure if letting him contact me is the right thing to do.
i want to help him but i dont know how.
has anyone got any advice on what i can do to help my ex?
so therefore when he calls me i shouldnt answer yes?
thanks, you're right, he is getting help. and he is clinging onto me and the past.
I would not slam the phone on him. Tell him that you are busy, and don't have time to talk. If you do it often enough, hopefully, he will take the hint.
If he persists, then you might have to tell him straight out, that you are going on with your life, and that he'd be better off discussing his problems with his therapist. If it reaches that point, you may have to tell him not to call again, but hopefully he will catch on before you have to do that.
Be careful. Depressed people are often very needy, and he could suck you right in.
Tell him to count his blessings. At least he was driven to depression. I had to call a cab and wait a half hour.
lol thanks!
ok, i'll do that.
i kinda feel he's already sucking me in. its getting to the point where i can't move on or do anything. hence why i posted here.
thanks a lot!!!
Instead of answering and telling him you can't talk, why not just let the machine pick up?
I know it's hard but they're right you have to force him to let you move on, until you're back in a place where you can cope with the contact again. Believe me i know the feeling, i had pretty bad depression for about a year - and my ex, who i was with at the time has 23 psychiatric disorders. Currently. He used to have more. Now we're back to being good friends, but at the time that we split up the only way to sort ourselves out was to be completely apart. We'd learnt to depend on each other completely, and he has to find new ways to cope. Otherwise he'll get better, but when you finally do part company he'll spiral backwards
thankyou for your help and advice.
its good to have some reassurance of what to do.
you're right, it is hard, because i still have strong feelings for him and care for him and we were eachothers whole world for those six months.
its good to hear that you and yours are friends now. i hope to be the same with my ex, because he really is/was my best mate.
thankyou!
xxx
I'm sure you've heard it before - but if you want to stay friends, you have to be apart for a while: take it from someone who KNOWS. It's always so much sweeter when you realise that your best friend is STILL your best friend, because you allowed each other to heal rather than (metaphorically) 'picking the scab'!!
Good luck honey xx
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