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I know I love my boyfriend, but I just don’t feel it right now.

 
 
gravi89
 
Reply Wed 6 Mar, 2019 08:12 am
So my boyfriend of a year and I have just gone through a bit of a rough patch. It was nothing crazy, just a couple of weeks where we had a few arguments. We’d never really argued before so it was a bit of a shock. Anyways, we talked through it and things are going back to normal now. Despite tbat, I don’t feel the same. It’s not that I don’t love him. Deep down, I know I still love him more than anything. I know he loves me too. But when I talk to him or look at pictures of him I just don’t feel that same excitement. Is this just part of the rough patch? Should I talk to him about it? I’m afraid that if I bring it up, I’ll just sound like I don’t like him anymore and/or want to break up. That’s not the case at all. I love him, I just don’t feel excited about our relationship at the moment at all. I get annoyed by the littlest things and I’m constantly anxious. I only started feeling this way a short amount of time ago; before that I’ve always been completely infatuated with him. I don’t like this feeling and I want to resolve it. If it helps at all, we’re long distance, which makes things even harder. Any advice at all here would be appreciated, as I’m freaking out a bit. Thanks. ^^
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 488 • Replies: 5
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maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Wed 6 Mar, 2019 08:32 am
@gravi89,
If you say that you don't feel excited about your relationship... that is going to drive him further away. If my girlfriend said that to me, I would take it as a sign that our relationship is ending and that she doesn't want to be in the relationship much longer. I don't think you should say that (if you want this relationship to strengthen).

What you should say is what you want and need in the relationship. And you are going to have to figure out what you want and what you need.

- Do you want to feel more connected to him?
- Is there something you need from him to feel more connected?
- Do you want the relationship to get stronger but need a little space for now?
- Do you want more time with him? Do you need a romantic time with him away from the arguments?

You should tell him any of these things, they send the message that the relationship is important to you and give him an indication of what you need.

The long distance thing is difficult (I have been there). Feelings ebb and flow over any relationship, being apart makes these feelings and the insecurities around them more intense. But basically communication in a relationship is the same.

Tell him the relationship is important to you and that he is important to you. Then tell him what you want or need for the future.
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Ponderer
 
  1  
Reply Wed 6 Mar, 2019 11:20 am
@gravi89,
It's about trust. You have to get to an agreement with him that a disagreement won't turn into an argument.
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mystikmind
 
  1  
Reply Tue 19 Mar, 2019 05:28 pm
@gravi89,
These are the times when you need to lean heavily on 'commitment' rather than love and lovely feelings. You simply chose to remain loyal to your commitment to the relationship. That is why commitment is an important component of any strong longer term relationship.
If you are getting annoyed by things that never used to annoy you, then that is normal. When you are infatuated etc etc you dont notice all those things, but infatuation always wears off after a period of time. So what you need to do is, you need to focus your mind on being 'accepting' of the person who is your partner... understand and allow them to be the different person that they are, and if you can achieve that (its not necessarily that easy) you will find your way to a much stronger and deeper love.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 22 Mar, 2019 01:12 pm
Maybe you love him but don’t like him right now.

You say he doing things that irritate you. That’s what happens when reality sets in.

LD relationships are really hard to maintain. How old are you two?

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Franku
 
  -1  
Reply Sat 23 Mar, 2019 01:39 am
@gravi89,
If your boyfriend also loves you then you should take of each other
0 Replies
 
 

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