Messed up from learning about her exs sexual ability

Reply Sat 2 Mar, 2019 09:06 am
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and everything has been going pretty fantastic up until this week where some information came out between us that has me feeling really insecure about our sex life.

We met shortly after my divorce and her break up with her old boyfriend. We just met and fell for each other really quickly, it was incredibly sweet. We were both in states of recovering from depression and helped pick each other back up and discover in the process that we were really great together.

It sounded like her and her ex were just a couple for convience sake. She was on some pretty strong antidepressants and they just kind of hung out until he flaked off. He didnt really seem to have a lot going for him, although she did allude to something going on in the bedroom to stick around for.

Well, I had a pretty long period of inaction
when I was still married (and the relationships before wernt that fantastic either). Shes just a few years older than me and more experienced, and so to my delight has been showing me some things. I've been improving from some stamina issues I had in the beginning and our sex life has gotten really good.

The other night I had exclaimed right afterwards that it was the best I had ever had. The next day she asked me teasingly if she was the best I ever had and I said yeah, and then stupidly asked her if I was hers. I knew from the situation enough and how she didnt respond the night before that the answer was no, but I just kind of blurted it out.

She didnt hesitate long to say no. Shes a brutally honest person, which I find endearing. She put me 2nd best, above her longest relationship, but beneath her last boyfriend. Now she paints the rest of the picture and tells me that the sex was the only reason it lasted at all.

Apparently this guy was either incredibly talented or really experienced. I asked what he had done, but she wouldn't give me details. She kindly tells me it's not my dick size, which I believe because I don't have much reason to be self conscious there. So at this point I'm thinking it's just experience.

However, she's hinted to me a couple times in the past that I could improve my refractory period, which is weird because its normal, but I figured it was just some thing she knew about. Shortly after this conversation she revealed that her old boyfriend had none whatsoever, just kept pumping between ejaculations. Ive since looked into it and improving your refractory period appears to be about as realistic as improving your dick size. And that this guy was one of the lucky few that science thought was a myth not too long ago. So I suspect that's what the appeal was, or at least a big part of it. I could imagine it's easier to relax and have fun with sex if you dont have to worry about cumming and ending things.

We haven't had sex since and I'm feeling a profound sense of inadequacy/insecurity now. I still have uncertainty about what it was that made it better. If its just experience than I'm confident I'll get better, but if its something biological that I can't do anything about then that's another thing. I'm ok with not being her best right now, but I dont like the idea of settling for 2nd best in the long run.

Shes been perfectly honest with me about everything and I feel like the thing to do is to just get over it and accept reality. But I dont know how it's not going to mess with me.
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Reply Sat 2 Mar, 2019 10:32 am
Being honest is one thing. She's just being nasty and passive-aggressive.

If she was going to tell you that you were not her best (yeah, not a good thing, to fish for that kind of response from anyone, but it is what it is and you can't take that back now), then at the absolute, barest minimum she should have either told you something good about your relationship (not necessarily about your sex life) and/or something you can improve in the bedroom department which is realistic.

Instead she turns you into Don Quixote, rather than Don Juan. You're not feeling like this is a great relationship and your care and love (including physical) can conquer all. Instead, she's got you tilting at windmills, trying to chase an impossible way to "get better".

If "refractory period" (I have never heard of such a term although I experienced it with a guy who was in his 20s -- that sort of stamina is for the very young) matters so damned much to her, then get some toys and give her added stimulus (or have her do so herself) while you recover between bouts.
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Reply Sat 2 Mar, 2019 04:27 pm
If some of ya'll never been down south too much, I'ma gonna tell you a little bit about this so that you'll understand what I'm talkin' about; the last time I had my fill in the refectory the priest dun got defrocked! All we are saying is give peas a chance…
Reply Sat 2 Mar, 2019 07:54 pm
Handy if the olfactory is before the refractory after the polk salad salmagundi with ben wa peas.

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Reply Sun 3 Mar, 2019 10:13 am
Bro your biggest problem is asking her the details in the first place. Everyone isn't going to be the best that their partner has ever had, sexually. And you said it yourself that your girlfriend is brutally honest. I'm not sure why you didn't prepare for an answer like this. Sounds like you brought this on yourself bro. Don't ask don't tell next time.
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Reply Sun 3 Mar, 2019 02:03 pm
P.C. you are to Political Correctness, what Pee-wee Herman is to Pro Wrestling, but you sure tell it like it is;

“Eaðe wis man mæg witan spell and eac secgan.” = “Easily may a wise man understand a story, and tell it too.”

May I on behalf of the A2K Cheerleaders welcome you to the forum and beware the ides of March.

LOL, you have a precocious talent, but Offaly is at the heart of Ireland and welcomes the visitor to enormous tracts of wilderness, expanses of bogland, a vast mountain park, esker hills and deep wooded valleys with their streams and rivers.

I think the confusion arises from the fact that Avon is a common river name in England and Avon is the old Celtic word for river. So calling a river Avon is like saying river river!

Beck usually comes from the Scandinavian word for stream bekkr.
However, Rith as in Penrith comes from the Scandinavian word for little stream.

Polk salad on the other hand is a toxic plant containing phytolaccatoxin and phytolaccigenin. These substances are toxic to mammals and may cause death. The young greens should be boiled and drained three times to purge the toxins before they are fried in hot oil or bacon fat with eggs.

May the good fairy sprinkle stardust on your bippy.
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Reply Wed 20 Mar, 2019 03:42 pm
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