Messed up from learning about her exs sexual ability

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and everything has been going pretty fantastic up until this week where some information came out between us that has me feeling really insecure about our sex life.

We met shortly after my divorce and her break up with her old boyfriend. We just met and fell for each other really quickly, it was incredibly sweet. We were both in states of recovering from depression and helped pick each other back up and discover in the process that we were really great together.

It sounded like her and her ex were just a couple for convience sake. She was on some pretty strong antidepressants and they just kind of hung out until he flaked off. He didnt really seem to have a lot going for him, although she did allude to something going on in the bedroom to stick around for.

Well, I had a pretty long period of inaction
when I was still married (and the relationships before wernt that fantastic either). Shes just a few years older than me and more experienced, and so to my delight has been showing me some things. I've been improving from some stamina issues I had in the beginning and our sex life has gotten really good.

The other night I had exclaimed right afterwards that it was the best I had ever had. The next day she asked me teasingly if she was the best I ever had and I said yeah, and then stupidly asked her if I was hers. I knew from the situation enough and how she didnt respond the night before that the answer was no, but I just kind of blurted it out.

She didnt hesitate long to say no. Shes a brutally honest person, which I find endearing. She put me 2nd best, above her longest relationship, but beneath her last boyfriend. Now she paints the rest of the picture and tells me that the sex was the only reason it lasted at all.

Apparently this guy was either incredibly talented or really experienced. I asked what he had done, but she wouldn't give me details. She kindly tells me it's not my dick size, which I believe because I don't have much reason to be self conscious there. So at this point I'm thinking it's just experience.

However, she's hinted to me a couple times in the past that I could improve my refractory period, which is weird because its normal, but I figured it was just some thing she knew about. Shortly after this conversation she revealed that her old boyfriend had none whatsoever, just kept pumping between ejaculations. Ive since looked into it and improving your refractory period appears to be about as realistic as improving your dick size. And that this guy was one of the lucky few that science thought was a myth not too long ago. So I suspect that's what the appeal was, or at least a big part of it. I could imagine it's easier to relax and have fun with sex if you dont have to worry about cumming and ending things.

We haven't had sex since and I'm feeling a profound sense of inadequacy/insecurity now. I still have uncertainty about what it was that made it better. If its just experience than I'm confident I'll get better, but if its something biological that I can't do anything about then that's another thing. I'm ok with not being her best right now, but I dont like the idea of settling for 2nd best in the long run.

Shes been perfectly honest with me about everything and I feel like the thing to do is to just get over it and accept reality. But I dont know how it's not going to mess with me.