im all out of options

I am so sorry. I can't tell you how much your post made my heart ache for you.

There's no "easy" way out of depression. I know what it feels like to hit bottom and there seems to be no "light" to lead you back out. So you "drift" through the days. Doing what you have to do to get by. But feeling so sad inside that you are as a zombie. When you are a low point in your life, it's so easy to feel like no one cares.

Your family loves you. I'm sure they don't mean to make you feel like they are ignoring you. I bet if you sat down and talked with a family member that you feel the most connection with, you'd see how much they really do love you. You really do need to talk to someone. If you can't talk to any of them - then perhaps someone inside the church.

Listen, I know this doesn't mean much to you right now..... but it does get better. You just have to hang in there.

I agree with Brooke. It really does get better and I know because I've been there.

Hang in there!

If they're spreading malicious rumors without provocation, I got news for you, Mr Bob. They're not in your league.

Yep yep!!! Right on, Roger!

Look man, I know how you feel. Most people know how you feel, it just seems like nothing is goin' your way and the depression just rips you apart inside. I'm not gonna tell you to "tuff it out" or "it will pass" because thats not what you want to hear and it wont help. I use drugs and alcohol to numb my depression, but I don't reccomend it to others, because it is self-destructive. What you need is a hobby. Not just a hobby, but something you love to do (besides girls) that ur passionate about. Fill the void in your life with that, and it becomes your outlet for your depression, anger, hatred, fears whatever. Surround yourself with others that share the same interest be it cars, bikes, motorcycles, snowboarding, skating, rockclimbing, hunting, music..... Life begins to take on a whole new meaning. But thats just my opinion.

I was going to suggest a hobby, but BansheeScream has said it all for me. I know that I measure the value of my existence by what I create (and will hopefully leave behind after I've gone). This must be hardwired into us all to some extent. Unless your work is creative and exciting, you must not continue with the long hours!

I forgot to say this... forget about girls - they will be all over you when you least expect it!

MrBob, everyone feels this way at some time or another, so know you aren't alone. And all of us here will welcome you into our community any time you want. It can be tough when you feel all alone. I don't know if you believe in God or go to church but sometimes, talking to God can make you feel less alone.

Roger is right. Those girls don't deserve the right to spit shine your shoes. Some day they will get what they deserve in life. You get back what you put in....

Drugs and alcohol, while very good mind-numbers, are temporary and end up causing more problems than you started with. A better bet is to start something you love...or find something new you love.

College is just around the corner and then you will be in a whole new world. True, there will still be people like those girls but there will also be people who you will relate to and become friends with.

As for this guy who wants to hurt you...does anyone else know? You need to tell someone in the event he trys something. If your life is in danger, you need to at least let someone know in case (God forbid) something happens. Let's hope he's just an idiot who likes to scare people.

Good luck and Welcome!

Listen to Brooke...she is wise beyond her years.

I'd like to add that if you have had thoughts of harming yourself hyou should at least speak to your school counselor or the school psychologist about this. Given the depression you are feeling now, it is all too easy for thoughts to become actions. Plus, talking to someone outside your family and friends often helps put things in a better perspective.

Also remember, high school is a temporary disease and will end for you next year. Once you get into college a whole new world of friends and activities will open up to you.

Hang in there and please try talking to someone about your fweelings.

Fweelings ? I have a lisp, sorry!

That lispth only shows up when he isn't mowing.

Hi, morganwood. Long time, no see. To long.

Excuse the interruption again.

For some reason morganwood can't get updates.

Now back to the lisp.

Hi Letty

The udates worked, morganwood. Thanks, Rog. sorry about the divergence.

Bob, listen to a teacher who knows about such things. You are in school for one thing, honey, and that is an education. You go for that and study, write, and concentrate on what's going to happen on down the line.

I have seen kids such as you blossom after feeling that they were social rejects. I know it's difficult for you now, but it won't be. As for some bully who is trying to make your life miserable, you can do one of two things. Have a talk with the guidance counselor, or simply have your parents go to the principal.

Welcome to our forum, and should you ever need help, just keep writing here. Big hugs to you, honey.