Fri 22 Feb, 2019 03:51 am
When I was much younger I had my share of rejections. A long time ago, one girl and I would hang around and develop a friendship of a sort where we'd talk about stuff. I was sexually into her and it was pretty obvious to both of us. She wasn't into me too much, though. Our thing was beneficial to her in the sense that in me she had an emotional connection and someone to talk to. This girl was a submissive and masochist and had a sexual relationship with a bad boy. They played various types of BDSM games with her being the submissive. She also had some random hookups at the time. I did not have a crush on her but I did want to get laid. Her company was more interesting than that of most girls because she was pretty smart and into guy stuff.
The interesting thing was that there was an undercurrent of sexual humiliation in the way she rejected my advances. The fact that I had come onto her and that she had rejected was explicitly acknowledged. I have both a vanilla side where my behavior is typically actively masculine and a submissive side (to women) and she must have sensed the latter. Some of the things she said to me in a playfully sadistic manner when she rejected me have stuck to my mind and I find her attitude arousing to be honest.
This girl was kinky, we were friendly and when I think back to what happened between us, she may have been willing to engage in some type of play with me as in becoming my keyholder if I had started to wear a chastity belt, for example. I did not want to go that way with her, however, because our circles of friends and acquaintances overlapped too much and because she had too big of a mouth and wouldn't be able to keep our things between us. I know that because she told me some details about other people that should've been their private business. Also, I was busy trying to get laid or to get a girlfriend at the time.
Another incident took place a few years later when I went on a couple of dates with a young woman a few years older than myself I'd found on an internet dating site. She told me about her previous live-in boyfriend with whom she'd stopped having sex with because her attraction to him had died down. On our second date this woman (yes, there was a second date) told me he was hooking up with a married man for sex on a regular basis. I appreciate the fact that she was honest with me about that. Because I was looking for a relationship at the time, continuing to date her was out of the question. But I wonder what might have being able to develop from that. I must say, though, that my vanilla side could not cope with emotionally investing in a woman who has sex on the side with another man because she finds me inadequate.
Now, many many years afterwards, I'm pretty sure that if I found myself single again, I'd be willing to explore a special friendship with a woman who found me uninteresting as a vanilla sexual partner (let alone a dominant one) but who found it fulfilling at some level to exercise her sexually dominant or sadistic side with me. Mutual interests and genuine enjoyment of each other's company would be a foundation of the friendship. Our games with me as the bottom would benefit her in providing her with amusement and a sense of perceiving her actual lover(s) as more masculine and dominant and thus more arousing and more pleasurable to have sex with me.
Can someone who found themselves in this type of relationships tell us about their experiences?