Are you Unpopular?

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First of all - what is it to be unpopular? It seems that you must be known - to be unpopular - thus the opposite of popular is not unpopular - it must be something like a-popular.

So if it is being known - like being popular is - what is the difference?

Secondly, does it matter if you are considered unpopular?

Lastly, what can we do about being unpopular if we are? Anything?

TTF

p.s. I think Frank Apisa will have something to say on that topic - he strikes me as the kind of guy who is pissing in someone's Cheerio's everyday.

I think that is why I like the guy. Wink

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One time I went to a student run candy selling place in my high school (they also made copies, but I only came for the candy), and I said "Sam Coates wants Starbursts."

And the girl said "So YOU'RE Sam Coates!" Like she'd solved some mystery.

Creeped me out.

Then there was another time when I saw a teacher I didn't know in the computer lab, and asked for some help with the printer, and when they saw my name on the paper they said "Oh, you're Sam Coates?"

So apparently people knew who I was, but I never found out why.

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I've never really been popular and as I've grown older I've come to see this as an asset.

Being the wallpaper has made me a keen observer of people and in my career as a photographer that is most certainly a good trait.

Plus, I've learned how to keep myself company.

As to how someone would go about becoming popular I haven't the faintest idea and I really don't understand why people are so desperate to be noticed.

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SCoates wrote:

So apparently people knew who I was, but I never found out why.

It could have been the joust tournaments we held in the hallways... or the cardboard box races... or the communism announcement... or the offensive campaign posters... or using the conference rooms for unofficial meetings... or the armchair incident... or the physics pamphlets... or the anit-math pamphlets... or the Hillman murders... or my under the counter hotdog business... or my theme song... or my contraversial second track team (Go Blackies!)... or my 7 foot tall girlfriend... or my impressive karate yells... coupled with my megahorn... or the pirate ship I built around a desk...

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Trust me. It was the under the counter hotdog business.

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I wore a trench coat for that, which made the lunch ladies suspicious... but it was the only coat I owned with enough pockets.

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If the lunch ladies knew who you were you were not unpopular.

Truthfully, I think popularity has something to do with competitiveness and I am not competitive. This is something about me that drives Mr. B absolutely insane as he is very competitive.

I think the reason he liked me is that I did not try to win his attention like so many other girls did. (He's way better looking than I am.)

When I look back over the questions I've asked on this forum they are, in some weird way, and especially in parenting, asking people to explain competition to me.

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I know what it's like to be unpopular. It scars you for life. Your every waking moment is spent on seeking the approval of others, and at night when all is quiet the anxiety and black feelings of hopelessness creep up your spine like a frozen serpent. It's no way to live.

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blueveinedthrobber wrote:

I know what it's like to be unpopular. It scars you for life. Your every waking moment is spent on seeking the approval of others, and at night when all is quiet the anxiety and black feelings of hopelessness creep up your spine like a frozen serpent. It's no way to
live.

True....
And when and if you ever do become "popular", you are always suspicious of those people who like you.
What do they want ???

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blueveinedthrobber wrote:

I know what it's like to be unpopular. It scars you for life. Your every waking moment is spent on seeking the approval of others, and at night when all is quiet the anxiety and black feelings of hopelessness creep up your spine like a frozen serpent. It's no way to live.

And you don't wake up until after noon, and spend your first few waking hours bent over the toilet vomitting.

And when you think the worst is over, you still get to here all the embarrassing things you've done and have no recollection of.

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LionTamerX wrote:

True....
And when and if you ever do become "popular", you are always suspicious of those people who like you.
What do they want ???

And when you finally break, and shoot up the school, YOU'RE the one who is the bad guy. You kill a few people and they label you a murderer, but they killed your spirit years ago, and get away scott free.

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SCoates wrote:

blueveinedthrobber wrote:
I know what it's like to be unpopular. It scars you for life. Your every waking moment is spent on seeking the approval of others, and at night when all is quiet the anxiety and black feelings of hopelessness creep up your spine like a frozen serpent. It's no way to live.

And you don't wake up until after noon, and spend your first few waking hours bent over the toilet vomitting.

And when you think the worst is over, you still get to here all the embarrassing things you've done and have no recollection of.

yeah but that was usually from the quaaludes.

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SCoates wrote:

LionTamerX wrote:
True....
And when and if you ever do become "popular", you are always suspicious of those people who like you.
What do they want ???

And when you finally break, and shoot up the school, YOU'RE the one who is the bad guy. You kill a few people and they label you a murderer, but they killed your spirit years ago, and get away scott free.

Sigh... Life is so unfair.

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blueveinedthrobber wrote:

I know what it's like to be unpopular. It scars you for life. Your every waking moment is spent on seeking the approval of others, and at night when all is quiet the anxiety and black feelings of hopelessness creep up your spine like a frozen serpent. It's no way to live.

I don't think you need to spend a lot of time trying to sway others to be unpopular.

I think mostly popularity is an external thing.

TTF

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Before things get to out of hand...

I for one am curious as to what TTF is wanting to learn and what he has to say.

I agree that it is an external thing.

I'm hoping more people weigh in but perhaps admitting to unpopularity is uncomfortable.

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I'm not really that unpopular or popualar. I'm in a smooth middle, where only a few friends know me well. I wouldn't really like to be popular, or at least I think so. I mean, I would have to remember names and use the same recycled joke over and over again. That kind of pressure would be something I wouldn't like.

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I think everyone needs to have enough friends (how much is enough varies with individuals), people with whom we share our joys and sorrows, but POPULARITY only applies to the high school period of life,

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High school permeates some parts of adulthood, in wisps of experience revisited, every so often.

I don't envy the person who was always class president, then or now.

Friends who you can relate to, if not entirely, but at some level eye to eye, those are invigorating, however quietly.

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boomerang wrote:

I'm hoping more people weigh in but perhaps admitting to unpopularity is uncomfortable.

my name is anonymous & i'm unpopular.

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Are you Unpopular?

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