Are you Unpopular?

I agree TTF - but it works both ways.

Some people are more popular in "real" life not only because it is incumbent upon them to follow the rules of society and use at least some of the manners they've hopefully been taught - where as in cyberspace- yeah, you don't have to see that other person's face, so some folks feel free to just say whatever-but also because they have the pleasing visual package - whether it is a pretty or handsome face or great body or pleasing mannerisms, or a great speaking voice (which is one of my main turn-ons)- whatever. For those who are used to having those advantages - cyberspace kind of strips all of that away - and it becomes all about your personality, and more than that your facility with written expression.

By the same token, cyberspace allows those who are not blessed with the visual package to at least start off on more equal footing. And if they are shy - the anononymity that cyberspace affords might give them the freedom to be more fully who they really are - and so they may find themselves to be thought of as more attractive on line than in real life.

I find it fascinating. And like you, I find it really annoying that people find it so easy to disconnect and just rip into people on line. I tend to be even more careful - I don't know who that person is or what his or her circumstances are - even less so than if I meet them on the street. I feel that it is incumbent upon me to be polite and careful of their feelings - having no clue to what extent what I say might affect them. Especially those in the relationship threads who are looking for help. Anyway - interesting thread - thanks for posting it.

that sounds so depressing. Isnt it sad the way humans cant help judging on physical appearance??

but always remember; popularity is the 'kiss of death', where quality is the criterion.
popularity implies a certain insubstantial median, where there is neither excellence nor offence.

[The 'great' will never fall to the level of 'popularity'!]

I would find interesting the difference between how popular each person thinks they are, and how popular they actually are.

I imagine some of us would know quite accurately, while others of us would be highly surprised.

eorl love ur quote. Its hillarious aint it!

BoGoWo:-

I guess you mean I must be great then?I'm really unpopular.

I think I'm kind of popular when I feel like playing that game in real life.

I was always on the fringe of the elite popular people in high school & college. But I was too attracted to the rebels, rockers, intellectuals, goths, and general oddballs to be totally accepted by the elites.

So I'd hang mostly with the popular crowd, but break away often to really truly experience life with the outcasts and rebels.

Now most my friends who were really popular in high school have not made much of themselves and they are at a dead end. They still talk about high school as if that was the one bright spot of their life.

Sad. That game was shallow and empty. Glad I was able to mostly dump it in the mental trashbin and move on to much better things in every area of life.

Its kind of ironic, and a poetic justice of sorts: Often people that figured out how to be very popular in high school keep that high school level maturity their entire life and never grow past that, because that was the one thing they were good at. Thus, they sort of try to re-live 3 years of high school popularity for the next 60 years of their life, and it never really works.

There is so much more out there in every direction in life once one can dump the illusion called popularity in the trash. Such freedom is beyond that trap. I often feel like I didn't truly start living my life until I got beyond caring about popularity much. (I won't say I'm immune to it all now, but I've worked on getting past a lot of the BS).

***

Most people seem to hate me on A2K though.

Shut Up Extra Medium - I hate you.

Actually, I agree - I was on the fringe too in highschool. Not disliked but not part of the 'cool' crowd. I went back to my 10 year reunion - and it amazed me how the cool and lame crowd had done nothing with thier life - but the people you never really considered had done a bunch of things.

Here is my thesis:

The crown that was 'lame' and simply abused thier entire life never thought they could make something of themselves - and thus did not.

The crowd that was cool thier entire life never had to work for anything and then when it came time to knuckle under - they simply folded.

The fringe crowd always had to work at being accepted and cool - and thus had no problem working for what they wanted. AND I think they had something to prove - I know I did and I think Extra Medium was alluding to that sort of thing.

I know there is a TON more inolved but that is just a theory of mine.

TTF

Hey, what is this.

One minute you're telling me I have a nice ass, next moment you say you hate me.

I am a guy you know. You're supposed to save these mixed feelings for your girlfriend!

Unless you truly are a homosexual?

(Not That There Is Anything Wrong With That--Like I said I grew up near San Francisco, I have lots o' gay friends...)

Whenever I go to make new contacts for reasons of pecuniary delight I always seek out the assholes.They get things done once you befriend them because they are so grateful.And unpopular ladies really ring the bell once you get beneath their skin.

Popular people are deadly.

Sorry.I meant fundamenters.

I've never been popular...not even on the fring. In fact, I've had trouble making friends with the most unpopular of people...I don't know...everytime I'm with someone outside of my family or someone I've known for a longnngnggggg time, I just can't CAN'T think of anything to say...

It's soo bad...I think once this girl was talking about something that was good, and I just said "Yeah, that's good" and I repeated that FOUR FRIKING MORE TIMES over the next 2 minutes to fill up the silence. Man, it was so bad. WHen I'm writing it's all fine, or when I'm thinking, but no when I'm talking to someone.

Bakku, I've been there. It's a nasty cirlce because it's self-reinforcing. The more things go bad , the more you get nervous about them going badly and the more you shun social behaviour, the less practice you get.

I don't think you can get rid off it entirely but you can learn manage it. One possible cure is to find a job, even a part time thing where you have to try to sell to people face to face. Doesn't matter if your bad at it, even one day on the job should help.

The other thing to practice is trying to see, listen, observe and store in memory everything about the person you are talking to....every tiny detail....it's very hard to do that AND worry about what she's thinking about YOU at the same time