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Tue 12 Apr, 2005 07:57 am
Disease seen as a challenge in a creative personal growing process. -
Testimonial: Recovering from Fibromyalgia
Remark: The green links which are showing up in the text have nothing to do with me. I am the last one wanting to make advertisements for doctors, hospitals, health products or the pharmaceutical industry! These Sponsor links are obviously added by an automatic program and indeed I don't like this.
I am convinced that healing from a disease is a significant process of one's individual existence. A growing process which includes all levels. Probably there doesn't exist any disease which only effects one isolated part of the system. So when there are showing up symptoms on the physical level then there might be also an imbalance of the mental and/or emotional level and probably there is a 'push' towards a transformational change and this might be the most significant. So the conclusion seems obvious that 'healing' must include all. But in daily practice this is not demonstrated at all. Treatments are commonly directed to eliminate symptoms and patients don't ask and don't want to be involved in their own recovery. It seems we still have the attitude from people of the middle age, where sickness was seen as something bad or as a punishment for having done something evil. Or the attitude was, and probably still is, that disease is the result of a bad influence from outside. So what patients ask for is just to eliminate the symptom, to be 'healthy' again and of course without doing anything for it by themselves. People are convinced that this is the job of the healer, doctor or the medicine. Professionals are obliged to repair what is not working well... Self responsibility seems to be mostly unknown and unwanted. And as there are pills for every thing, (except against ignorance!) so instant healing can be expected. If there is the need to fight symptoms, then science will investigate and find something efficient which solves the problem, and science is financed by the pharmaceutics industry... It becomes clearer every day that this way of dealing with health problems and also with any kind of other conflict, is not creative, because it doesn't change anything about the cause. This shows up everywhere whenever there is a conflict: In politics with countries, in companies, in communities, in families, in couples and in individuals. It is the same all over: Seldom there is a search for the reason by looking into one's own system and never there is discovered the real cause. Mostly the 'bad' part will be eliminated by cutting out or suppressing, believing that then the problem is solved, but the cause stays untouched and will sooner or later trigger more problems and probably more and more serious ones. The attitude to eliminate a conflict or disease by destroying what is causing the symptom is so common that hardly anybody is questioning it. But the authority of doctors is fading away when we have to go through personal experiences and must see that those specialists in treating symptoms are more and more helpless...
Since about eight years I have health problems which in the beginning just were reducing my energy and so my activity but with ongoing time in a significant way. After an accident the severe pain continued and spread out all over my body. I consulted several doctors and healers, each of them gave a different diagnosis. The symptoms were: Pain everywhere, changing place and intensity from one day to the other, in muscles, joints, nerves, teeth, ears, eyes, head, heart, in nearly all organs. Then also muscle cramps, dizziness, extreme tiredness, also having bad sleep, lack of motivation, etc. I went through various treatments of different kind but without permanent betterment. It became clear to me that medicine and even alternative medicine knows little about the real reasons of disease, they mainly treat symptoms. Complaining about it when visiting a medical doctor, I was told that there can't be done anything , - offering me painkiller and telling me that I would have to live with it! This can only say somebody who is not suffering from permanent pain like this! I am lucky enough that I don't have deep depressions like other people have with the same disease, due to my daily meditation practice since many years. But now I can understand why people take suicide... Suffering to such an extreme and over a long period of time and without hope for a change, being alone with it, this probably is impossible to take if there is no understanding of the happening. Then nothing makes sense and from nowhere help seems to be available... I was lucky not to fall into such attitude, I always had felt that help would come in the right moment.
One day I watched TV and there was a MD speaking about a strange disease named 'Fibromyalgia' which lately is spreading out more and more. When he was describing the symptoms I was stunned because he was talking about all what was happening to me, although he couldn't give any explanation of the cause or give an advice for a treatment. But now at least I was knowing that I was not alone with my problem and I could investigate about it.
I am convinced that behind every happening and every problem there is a sense, although mostly hidden. We have to search for a solution and answer and of course also do something about one's situation. This is a challenge. So I started to investigate and collected a lot of information about and around the subject 'healing'. During this process there were showing up many different labels for diseases with similar symptoms: Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Gulf War syndrome, Candida, Listeriosis and quite a few more. Treatments from traditional medicine were not offered except pain killer and other chemical remedies.
Meanwhile I was exhausted. My energy went down more and more. Maybe I wouldn't have investigated with the same persistence if my horse wouldn't have had the same symptoms. The vets I consulted just said that my horse has arthritis and being that old the best would be to sacrifice him. I am older than my horse... and the doctors I had consulted for myself were not of more help with the difference that they were giving scientific names to symptoms, treating then into the blue. I didn't want to kill my horse at least having tried the best first to heal him.
He is my best friend and companion during more than twenty fife years. And I denied to give up just because he is 'useless' now because of his sickness and causing problems.
So I was strongly motivated to find out about it. During my investigation I got to know about ozone therapy, which convinced me as a treatment. My horse got worse and also myself and I urgently had to do something about it. I found a doctor who had an ozone generator in his practice he was using little and he was willing to treat me.
After a week of ozone treatment (daily 250ccm/52ug/cc of Ozone gas/rectal insufflation), I was feeling much better and convinced the doctor to let me fill up a plastic bag every day with 500 ccm of ozone gas for my horse (500ccm/90ug/cc) which I gave to my horse then daily for two weeks. Although the ozone was losing more than half of it's quality, because of the long way home, the result was surprising and because I wanted to continue with the treatment as soon as possible for myself and for my horse so I bought a second hand ozone generator. After I had to wait for the shipment more than a month I started immediately the treatments on my horse and also on myself.
Now after nearly one year I am still a naive 'hobby-myself-healer' and know little about scientific backgrounds of disease, but as far as my limited knowledge goes I am pretty sure that viruses, bacterial or fungus infections play an important part in my disease, the Fibromyalgia, but I have still quite some investigation to do about it...
Before Fibromyalgia was known, the doctors had told me that my sickness was Arthritis or Osteriosis or Rheuma or just stress and now they call it 'Fibromyalgia', what is nothing else than a new label for a syndrome of symptoms they don't know the cause. So many of them still stick their head into the sand and say that Fibromyalgia doesn't exist or they say that it is just 'mental', not to admit their helplessness and ignorance . - Until they might get it themselves, what I don't wish to anybody. But if I talk ever again with a medical doctor, then only with one who has Fibromyalgia himself!
What became clear to me is, that all those symptoms, called: Cancer, Aids, Rheuma, Arthritis, MS, Alzheimer, Parkinson, Cardiac Infarct, Asthma, Allergies, etc. etc. are treated without knowing the real cause. So even the cause might be a virus infection, then I believe this is still not the cause, because there is a reason in the first place why the viruses, which are present everywhere and all the time, can infect the system. It became obvious to me, that the treatment must start on, or at least include, the cell level and not just by manipulation of symptoms with chemicals or cutting out the sick part. There is not much known yet about alternative treatments like ozone, laser, magnets, sound, color, etc. probably because there are no big money interests connected with it like with pharmaceutics, so there isn't much propaganda done about it. But even the alternative treatments are mainly used to treat symptoms, so there seems not to be much difference except that there might not be side effects.
It looks to me that there is no real understanding of what 'disease' is. The whole health system is based on a totally materialistic attitude. And so no wonder that whatever is connected with the health system is motivated and manipulated by materialistic means. With other words: Money, power and personal games. Who is treating the cause? Who knows about it? Who is even asking about the cause? It looks to me that people's behaviour is still the same as in the beginning of humanity when to something unknown was given a name of a god and then people were praying and offering some sacrifice to the unknown, making it to something known by adding attitudes out of one's own fantasies. Keeping it well disposed through one's sacrifice, but in fact keeping oneself with this manipulation in a safe place out of the reach of fear from the unknown. Has there anything changed? I don't think so: Rarely somebody is looking for the cause of what happens - within oneself. This is an attitude which is widely unknown. People still are giving names to the unknown, without questioning it further. Then leaving everything else to the authority of the sacrificing priest: the medical doctor.
As I like to write and to sort out things & thoughts, I created a Web site with all the information I found and still find, what means that I am trying the different treatments as far as possible on myself and also on my horse and then report about it. A support from a med. doctor, at least as a help in my innocent intention, would be good, - but at the moment my search is mainly based on information from the Internet and my own intuition as a mean to select. There is a risk that I don't select and do the right thing, but instead of doing nothing I prefer to take the risk. And then the result, if I survive and at the end there is a positive result, can serve all those who are suffering and who are still stuck in dependency on the old way of thinking... (But of course I can't and don't want to give any advice for treatments. I only can talk about my personal experiences and offer a selection of information. Then everybody has to make one's own decision out of one's own responsibility.)
Another thing is the attitude towards 'disease', about this there is hardly any alternative information out there, not in the Internet and not from people else where. It seems in this I'm alone and it is pretty clear that the established system can't be of any help, so I will need to trust my intuition... Parallel with it I will go on finding out about possible treatments on the fisical level.
I am waiting now for nutritional supplements like MSM and Chondroitin and also for a new massager. I think a Ozone Sauna also should be included in the treatment, although this is not possible for my horse. I believe to release muscle pain with heat in combination with ozone will for sure help. For my horse I go on with the treatment and for myself as well with 'rectal insufflation' with ozone and I am trying other ways like limb bagging or using ozonated water and olive oil. Some doctors claim that intravenous application is more efficient, but I want to be independent from doctors so I prefer the ozone treatments I can do on myself. (Apart of the fact that with the money for three series of treatments one can buy a ozone generator which serves perfectly for one's home use.)
One thing is becoming clear to me: 'Healing' doesn't mean to get rid of symptoms. Taking pain killer will give some release, but will suppress the possibility to discover the real cause for one's disease, apart of the negative side effects, which will drive one on the long run into a negative vortex, with the final result of total numbness and destruction. Being sick means that the system is out of balance and this shows up through pain or mall function of organs. Pain obviously is a signal and should give motivation to look out for the reason. On the body level and also on the emotional level. Pain in the 'feeling body' can be more easy suppressed and we are all used to it and experts in a lot of tricks to escape from suffering... What we maybe not realize is that suppressed pain accumulates and then effects all other levels, showing up then also as a physical disease. Or if a physical disease is suppressed then a mental disease might develop. On the other hand a physical sickness specially over a long time will cause changes in one's emotions and also one's thinking. One's personality is changing. Now I am suffering since more than two years from Fibromyalgia. I can testify, that suffering over that long time from permanent pain all over the body, has a strong influence on my feelings and my mind. Often I am near to tears and my brain seems not to function well, although I have no depressions due to the many years of meditation I am practicing daily, but my mood often is going down pretty much and not only this, the changes are going much deeper and are provoking a shift of all established values.
Bearing the pain also consumes a lot of energy and no wonder that I am always extremely tired and exhausted and when I force myself because things need to be done, then I am coming near to a collapse. What makes it even more difficult is that nobody in one's surrounding can see how heavy things are and that even insignificant requirements becoming too much. Even sound or light! Not to be understood in one's suffering is probably the most difficult. For sure this is the same with someone who is depressed and suffering just on the emotional level. I am lucky that my pain is yet limited mostly to my body, so I am not totally absorbed and there is still some energy and awareness left. And also I can call myself lucky because there are a few people around me who do there best to help me. This is a challenge, for me and the people around me and not an easy one. I haven't given up yet, I am motivated to go on and to investigate about diseases and their background etc., to find out about the real cause. I want to understand what it is all about. I don't care if the doctors don't know, this doesn't inhibit me, from there I don't expect creative answers anymore. But I am sure that there are answers. At least this is my life long experience: If there is a question, then the answer will show up, sooner or later. I was told that about 20% of all patients going to a doctor are suffering from symptoms of Fibromyalgia. So what can be done about it? Who is investigating about it? Medicine will probably need some decades more before Fibromyalgia is known and shows up in their books and dictionaries. When talking with MDs it seems that meanwhile I know more about Fibromyalgia than doctors. - At least I don't say that Fibromyalgia doesn't exist! Can we use the Internet that people suffering from Fibromyalgia might come together to unite their energy to do something? Or are we just a herd of blind mice? Depending on some industry who might see a new market and so investigate, to launch a new chemical treatment or vaccination for the several million people with Fibromyalgia. I believe that there are sources which doesn't depend on narrow minded science and money making industry. There are several million people out there who are suffering from the same symptoms of Fibromyalgia and probably they all hear the same from their medical doctors: 'This comes from stress' or 'you need some vitamins' or 'you have to live with it'... Sick people go from one doctor and from one healer to the other, expecting to be healed. There might be some release from pain, but it comes back and with time passing by, the desperation and tiredness is growing. (And the damage to the body and to the whole system is growing because nothing has changed about the cause!) Isn't it obvious that there must be another solution? We can't expect to be healed by just letting do a manipulation whatever kind on us to take away the symptoms.
The cause of a disease is not just an influence from a certain point, it is probably the accumulation of several minor influences. Looking back at my life I can say that I lived very healthy compared to how people normally live. I started to be vegetarian when I was eighteen, never smoked and never took any kind of drugs. Even though in the healthiest food there are toxins and of course it is not possible to avoid what we breath in, the toxins from the cloths we are wearing, the plastics we are touching, etc. So in several decades there must have toxins accumulated. I am convinced that what triggered my disease are the unseen influences I wasn't able to avoid. So in consequence it becomes clearer and clearer, that the most important is a complete cleansing of the system. I have done a two week fasting now with a colons cleansing and I felt pretty good after this, but now the pain and tiredness is back. I will start now a thirty days juice fasting and will do during this time a liver and kidney cleansing. I am still investigating about the how... (Meanwhile I did also a three months candida diet...)
At the moment I can't do more than just writing down what I find out in my investigation, hoping that out there are like minded searcher who might participate... Although I am trying not to depend on any kind of personal help. I can see that it will need a long time to come to a concrete result, because there are too many information to be selected and there is so much junk and spam out there...
I am lacking energy and alone I probably are not able to go ahead in an efficient way, but I will do my best, because I want to be healed and also knowing that this maybe will help a lot of suffering people...
What makes it so difficult, is the lack of energy and that I'm feeling pretty much alone. The constant pain I can bear somehow, but not being understood in my intention makes that my motivation is slowly fading away. So again I have to pull myself with my own queue out of the mud of desperation... (I can't help it: This is how I feel although there are people around me helping as good as they can. But this is my process and my feelings are real even they seem not to be justified!)
Not one of the many medical doctors or healers I had consulted in the past had made a test or had investigated about the possibility that my system is invaded by Candida. When I searched the Internet I came to a Candida test. I went through this and it showed an extreme high possibility that I am effected by Candida. 140 points would mean that I am probably infected and I had 286 points. So since two days I am following a special diet to eliminate the Candida. And I started again with the ozone treatment and the colon cleansing. So now all my energy goes into taking care of myself and my horse and there is hardly energy left to write or to search and to select the abundance of information. I read the testimonial of a person who went through the same like me.
During the last few days again I'm feeling pretty bad and my mood also goes down, but now after reading this testimonial I can more clear see that I am on the right path and not alone with it. This came in the right moment and gives me some energy to go on...
With the various treatments I am doing I feel much better and have less pain, although I still have this permanent tiredness and when I force myself to do what needs to be done then I am easily falling into total exhaustion. I started a new series of Ozone treatment, also with my horse, but after a few days I had to stop because of strong pain in my belly. But I'm convinced of the benefit of the Ozone and so I was looking for another way. The 'Ozone sauna' seems to be an alternative solution. But a sauna with steam generator costs between 500 and 2.800 US$ and this not everybody can effort. So I decided to build one myself. This is possible because I have the ozone generator as the most essential part. I built the sauna within two days and this evening I had my first Ozone sauna. I must say that I am feeling very good now after the sauna and I will repeat it at least every second day. In my 'Sauna logbook' I will describe how I build my sauna...
Half a year later: I have recovered a good part of my energy and now I am convinced that healing from Fibromyalgia is possible. (And probably it is the same with many other diseases...) It is a slow process and it needs one's full attention and all of one's capability to respond to this challenge. There is a transformation involved which includes all levels and part of it is that old dependencies must be left behind. And so it is not surprising that I am still alone in my intention and I don't care that nobody is responding to my Web site or to what I am writing in mailing lists. I know that I found something which gives light on my walk... I feel like the runner with a torch: He is just running holding up the fire he carries, ready to give it to the next runner, - until then he is just running. He can give freely fire to somebody who ask for it and without expecting anything in return, but then he will go on.
During the last few weeks it became clear to me that this disease has to do with a cause which lays beyond not only the physical, mental and emotional, but also beyond the so called 'spiritual'. Or better said the cause is where the 'spiritual' starts. In other words: This disease is pushing one into transformation, into personal evolution.
I am convinced: Only through transformation real healing can happen. And it is clear without doubt that this process has to be done individually. What means that one is engaged in it personally with one's own responsibility and this also makes it that one is pretty alone with it... Transformation means to enter into a process which includes the whole existence of one's individual being. All levels and all systems which belong to the individual: Body, mental and emotions. Each of these systems needs to be transformed. Suppressing the body symptoms and calming down the mental and emotional reactions with 'medicine' is ignoring any growing or transforming process.
Does a patient who is in treatment by a doctor is using one's mental capacity or is there space to express one's feelings, not to mention any spiritual aspect...? Obviously not, our established social system doesn't allow to go beyond frames of attitudes, but probably to be healed, one has to go beyond... - leaving all (pseudo) security behind.
Half a year has passed since I started my health Web site and with it the step towards the 'healingoneself'. It seems time that I tell and make a list about all what I have done and what I am doing to be healed. I can say that now indeed I feel much better: The strong pain all over my body in all muscles, joints and organs mostly is gone. There are no cramps anymore in my feed and the best: I have no headache anymore, what before I had for many days. My head sometimes is still dizzy and it still happens that I can't read long articles or messages.
I recovered part of my energy but it is just enough to take care of myself and my horse and even this sometimes is too much and I have to watch out very carefully not to come too near to exhaustion. When I pass this limit then I need a few days to recover. What makes that I have to be aware how I spend my energy and make precise decisions even this seems sometimes insensible and egoistically to people.
So what is it I'm doing now for my healing? I will list it up, the most important first:
Twice a day 20 - 30 minutes of silent meditation. (Vipasana)
Being aware of the healing process and taking care of details.
Questioning oneself and being self critical to whatever shows up.
Being aware of one's resistance to recognize old patterns showing up.
Being aware of the tendency of falling back into resignation.
Being aware of one's density of mind and feelings.
Being aware of one's identification with thoughts and feelings.
Being aware of one's need to get confirmation for it.
Being aware of one's clinging on material stuff
Being aware of one's reactions if there is not enough confirmation.
Being aware how one provokes one's surrounding to get confirmation.
Being aware of one's established measurements of habits and values.
Being aware of one's clinging to worn out habits and values.
Being aware of one's eating habits, realizing that often eating is a substitute.
Being aware of one's pseudo security and realizing how much resistance and disturbance it creates to
let go of it.
Being aware of one's established defense system.
Being aware of one's reactions triggered during the day.
Being aware of one's identifications with reactions.
Being aware of one's dependencies... and the resistance and reactions it creates if one tries to let go
of it.
Being aware of one's fear to allow silence and emptiness.
Being aware of one's reactions if coming near to what might be felt as 'void'.
Being aware of one's fear when being confronted with chaos around.
Being aware of one's fear when chaos shows up within oneself.
Being aware of one's self image.
Being aware of one's identification with concepts about everything.
Being aware that one is not open for something which doesn't fit in one's concepts.
Realizing that objectivity is an illusion.
Realizing that one is trapped in 'personality', being governed by this and that we are like zombies
walking through life, being attract by absurd goals given by a corrupt society whose values are in the
first place materialistic.
Allowing to see how absurd and chaotic humankind is dealing with life and problems showing up and
how absurd daily life goals mostly are.
Allowing thoughts about death and the feelings this triggers.
Allowing all kind of strange and unknown states of being within oneself and being aware of one's
defense reactions.
Being cool enough to observe oneself and making decisions which feel right.
Not worrying about daily needs. Having the trust that the right thing will show up in the right moment.
Being critical and open to what shows up, being able to improvise, making one's decisions to choose
what feels right, even with the danger to make a mistake.
Being aware of one's feeling like a victim.
Changing one's attitude of being a victim of circumstances and people by understanding that we are
all in a process and there is no punishment for what one might have done wrong. Our 'growing process'
is also a 'learning process'. But not how to learn to defend ourselves better or to survive more
comfortable, but to grow into new unknown spaces...
Having the complete trust that 'existence' and with it also one's disease is not a negative happening
and knowing that we are NOT the helpless victims of it.
Understanding that 'disease' is a process which is positive and helps us to grow, what means that we
overcome our limitations and stuck position, being trapped in a construction of established images of
this world and oneself.
Seeing our disease as a challenge which moves us towards transformation and evolution.
Accepting that we are ready for life's offered challenge, even we don't like it and have the tendency
to stay in the old form, behavior and attitude.
So with the above we have created a positive attitude and we will not waste our energy in negative reactions when there are showing up circumstances which are in contrary of what we want or of what the image is how we would like it to be. With this we will stay more relaxed and will not build up and accumulate tension. Then with whatever will show up we will more openly examine and decide and also check out possible treatments.
After gathering a lot of information, I'm convinced that the cause for Fibromyalgia and probably most of diseases, at least in a big part comes from accumulated toxins, which are weakening the immune system and so the body is invaded by fungus, viruses, candida, etc. So the first goal might be to get rid of this accumulated waste and clean up the system. About this I have reported in details at my Web site, I had to cut it from this article because it gets far too long...
Probably the most difficult issue to talk about is the aspect to go 'beyond' one's personality which seems to be an important or probably the most important part of one's healing process. I ask myself if it is of any use for somebody except myself. Can words express something what goes beyond words? Words can just be used as a 'code' expressing an experience which is totally individual and can only be followed from the same state of being but not just intellectual.
One might 'believe' in something and then this is kept as a mental concept or image, more or less collored by emotions. This can be confirmed by people with similar concepts or images and so reinforcing the security of one's standpoint. There is nothing to argue against it. This is part of the survival system of the human species and worked well for quite some time. But evolution goes on and probably it is time now to go beyond the need of limited fields of existence to be able to expand into another level...
The question is who wants this? The momentary state gives at least a kind of security because of the since long established ways on all kind of daily experienced levels. The painful suffering has its place and reasons are mostly explained and the way of fighting against not wanted symptoms is as well established. Any given force is used to fight for something or against something. Who has the power, and this is the main challenge in our society, will try to eliminate whatever is disturbing. Finding the cause and integrating it in one's growing process seldom is considered. The attitude of victim and conqueror never worked really well because the conqueror never are truly satisfied, wanting more and more and being satisfied by suffering is just the opposite extreme of the same measurement, but at least it had a margin in which people could move in certain known manners.
Fibromyalgia as a new disease sets a landmark where one only can pass by changing something profound and essential about one's perception. (This probably is valid for other diseases like Cancer, Aids, Parkinson, Alzheimer, Heart diseases, etc.)
This new way is only accessible by going beyond established ways of thinking, leaving behind worn out behavior and what is part of the so called personality. This new disease is forcing one to take self responsibility, leaving behind the established dependency to the system, which leaves no space for any kind of initiative or motivation beyond it's margin. With Fibromyalgia the medical system has no response, "there is no cure". The system fails to give an answer. They do the same as always: Treating symptoms with chemicals, alternative or not, it doesn't make much difference, and then treating the side effects with other chemicals, etc. The card house of traditional medicine is near to collapse. With Fibromyalgia it will become clear. Cancer, Aids, Parkinson, Alzheimer were still sorted into the files of somehow known reasons and the promise to find cures were keeping people silent and in dependency, but with Fibromyalgia this ends.
There is only a possibility to get out of the pain and suffering from Fibromyalgia, - this is valid for any kind of disease -, by taking self responsibility, questioning oneself and taking the initiative to heal oneself. This means to go a step beyond oneself and also beyond the established health system. This indeed is serious and for sure not every body is capable for it. The medical system should assist this process and the MD should be a helper, but society is obviously too far away from such an evolutionary step and so one must do first a clear cut, but being aware that fighting in the old way and being in total dependency has to end.
This seems to me the only way to be truly healed and so one is forced to do this step. It is a challenge which needs a certain backup as preparation, so most people with Fibromyalgia are not young. So they might be prepared to confront the situation and themselves. One of the difficult aspects is that there is hardly any support from society, not even from family or friends. But this is part of the suffering and challenge and makes that one is pushed even stronger towards oneself. There is support available, one has to look for it, although one has to be very alert because most of the support offered is just confirming the old attitude. And then there is the severe difficulty because of the lack of energy caused by the disease. Here it starts that one has to keep one's energy together and concentrate on what is essential and here it starts that one has to go beyond oneself to find a new source of energy.
What is it? What is the most important? If one is lost in one's pain then the most important seems to get rid of the pain. But is the pain killer from the doctor's prescription a solution? They argue that first you need to be free of pain, then you can look for a creative solution. Probably most will forget to ask any question once they have less pain. Indeed a difficult situation. I rejected all my life any kind of pain killer, so maybe this gives me a different position and even having strong pain with the Fibromyalgia I am always looking for a solution without taking pills.
Maybe the most significant was that I never felt like a victim and never got totally lost in my suffering and pain. There was and is always something within me which stays 'cool' and continues to observe, even in the darkest situation and in the strongest pain. That might also be the reason why I don't fall into depressions, because even feeling really bad there is still an entity present which is aware of the situation and so I can pull myself out of it and then doing a creative step to find a solution. Holding this position suffering and pain is less penetrating.
You might ask now how this is possible, how can this be done? There can't be done much. It is the stage of a 'growing process' which in my case was furthered through many years of meditation. Coming to meditation is already a significant step in one's personal growing process. Who is not ready for it will not have the urge for meditation and probably will not continue with it once having started. So I am not going to convince anybody that 'meditation' is an essential part of a healing process, but there is no doubt about it: In fact it is. What meditation is I have described in another page. If you are interested to know more and you have questions about it, you can ask me freely...
With Fibromyalgia one is pushed into a transforming process and one will probably come to the point, where - due to the permanent pain and fatigue and due to the feeling of being left alone - that nothing matters anymore and one only want to die. This state is not felt as something negative and indeed I believe it isn't. It is a necessary step in one's process of transformation. What of course doesn't mean that one should kill oneself. Of course NOT! This would be the intention to escape from suffering and obviously wouldn't be a creative solution!
This would mean just to follow the usual behavior of eliminating the so called cause (which indeed isn't) and in the individual case it would mean self-destruction as a last step of being a victim in an endless fight. The wish to die can be seen in it's feeling value as a positive transition, understanding that this is a step and from then on values might change and also the view. What seemed to be important until now, has lost it's significance. With this something new might show up and because of the lost position it creates space, - which might be seen as a opportunity for something new...
When one realizes that all the money gained in so many years of hard work doesn't help one to change anything about one's situation. Even spending a lot of money on doctors, clinics and treatments, it is becoming clearer with each day which passes, that nobody can give back one's health, one can't buy it for all the money saved. There is only one solution: A shift in one's awareness, stepping out of the old worn out way of thinking, stepping out of dependency and instead of this taking responsibility for oneself.
In a certain way this would be a step where one is 'new born' and an unknown field might open up... In one of these old books it is written: 'To be reborn one must die first...' What for sure doesn't mean that we need to leave our body behind. Our body is the field where we make our life experiences and in a good part, especially with Fibromyalgia, we are pushed to work on the other parts of our existence. I just can tell you and I don't know if it will help you: You can trust your inbuilt growing system, you don't need to worry about most of things you did until now. Ready to die one can go on into a process of healing in an open way. If one still worries, that shows that one trust not yet enough, so there might be a few steps more to go before real trust can happen. And also I can tell you: You are NOT alone!
I can't do much more than just expressing what comes into my mind because I am myself in this transformation process and it leaves me with hardly any energy left. I hope that with this Web site there opens a space which gives the opportunity for a creative exchange so that together we might gain a new sight in a brighter light.
Back to daily reality: What can be done? How can one find one's way out of the labyrinth? How can one deal with one's personal chaos? Leaving all this used pseudo security behind, then what can give direction and something to hold on?
It is the trust in oneself, the trust that one is guided by one's own growing force. Trusting that whatever happens is a challenge and just the right thing, even if it seems unbearable. That gives the position to stay relaxed and more open in a certain way, at least being able to observe the situation more cool as before when being absorbed. Being in this void how can one make decisions, not knowing what to do and not having enough intellectual knowledge? Indeed a difficult situation and no wonder that people fall easily back into the old attitude to depend on authority. There is a way for orientation: One's intuition. In fact not possible to grasp on and not possible to be developed in the used manner by striving for a goal. Intuition can't be gained by some technique. Intuition opens up by itself as the result in one's growing process. There can't be done much about it, it is the result of a new attitude towards life!
What indeed furthers one's intuition is meditation and this is not really a 'doing' this also is more a 'being'...
If this feels right to you and you want to know more about it, you are invited to visit my Web site.
BeiYin
Remark: The green links which are showing up in the text have nothing to do with me. I am the last one wanting to make advertisements for doctors, hospitals, health products or the pharmaceutical industry! These Sponsor links are obviously added by an automatic program and indeed I don't like this. Although I have absolutely nothing for sale at my Web site, I'm only giving information, the moderator deleted the link to my Web site...
BeiYin
Hi BeiYin and welcome to a2k. The moderators won't allow links to personal websites within the posts but I'm pretty sure you can add your website to your profile page.
I'd like to see it as I have a friend who suffers from Fibromyalgia. Very difficult for him and he is as stalwart as anyone.
For your friend...
Piffka wrote:...I'm pretty sure you can add your website to your profile page.
I'd like to see it as I have a friend who suffers from Fibromyalgia. Very difficult for him and he is as stalwart as anyone.
Hi Piffka,
That's what I did... Anyway, in case you can't see it (I wanted to send you an email, but I couldn't...) you can search with my name and you will easily find it. Your friend can also email me, although my Web site has plenty information, he might have a question.
Namaste
BeiYin
PS: By the way: I'm pretty angry about these 'green links' and I am only continuing posting here because the given information might help people, but I dislike these pop up advertisements and feel these as a violation of my intention and personal property as a writer. If announcement are outside of the frame of the post I don't care, but within the written text, that's far too much and I don't know if I will take this...
Thank you, BeiYin. I just went to Google. Looks like a very interesting place you have.
I hope you decide to stay around a2k. The green links are more than a little annoying but I hope you will try to ignore them as the rest of us do.
Piff
SO, we take rectal insufflations of ozone?
Somebody call Gus, we need his medical expertise
farmerman wrote:SO, we take rectal insufflations of ozone?
Somebody call Gus, we need his medical expertise
I'm not sure I know what that is... so I looked it up:
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=263072
Why Ozone, I wonder?
ozone is A VERY REACTIVE form of oxygen , its usually listed as harmful to mucosa tissue. Its a powerful oxidizing agent. Ozone generators are easily made, but, Im not so sure about the safety especially if one were to ...uhhh... practice rectal insufflation . I wouldnt do it with chlorine, and sure as hell wouldnt want O3 up there.
Im very touchy about that part of my personal body
Chlorine! Yikes.
That is what I would call a very personal part of one's personal body and not to be messed with. Though, in deference to BeiYin, if you're truly desperate, you'd probably try anything.
Now I remember why I had left this forum about one year ago after several posts: The responses were just too silly. Why don't you inform yourself at least a little bit better before you post or ask some questions, instead of pretending that you know everything and then responding with one and two liners?
BeiYin
Everybody assumes that what they say is gold. Were all often full of ourselves. If you wanna pump Ozone up your ass, go for it, just let me have your in-line skates.
In a previous career, I was a research chemist in rare earth enrichment. Im not ufamiliar with the health effects of ozone. You come in with a self published piece of Homeopathic medicine (at least I hope its homeopathic and youre not using pure ozone) and , without any howdee, you extohl the virtues of oxidation enemas.
Scuse me, but Im not the silly one.
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