I need advice

Apology accepted.

We really shouldn't give you any advice, though. Life is a contest.

SCoates is right.
Just try to stay out of trouble though.

Stay out of trouble I willl. Life isn't a contest in my mind. In life you should just be happy. I just wanted some advice on how to get a boyfriend.

You just don't think it's a contest because you're losing.

I already have a wife and two and a half kids. I'm way ahead of you.

I didn't mean to be disrespectful!

I wish for you that you won't be -used- again in a relationship, what happened there? Was it more than once?

The pursuit of happiness is what makes us ALL want to be somewhere else, unless you believe you are already there.

BTW, I quit smoking today... I might be rambling tonite...
and, NO, I don't live in Fla., yet...

Yo!, SC! I thought you moved away from harrisburg ages ago! What happened? .5 kids? sheeshhh, dude, I'm sorry...

bigdice quit smoking?



stand back from the danger zone


stand far back

<leans back in chair, lights cigarette, and begins to read what bigdice has to say>

The .5 is one that is growing, not diminishing, so it's okay.

Jess, a lot of guys like shy girls. I wonder, though, if you're carrying any obvious baggage. Bad relationships can make anyone temporarily insecure, or at least seem that way. Try and be confident, and keep in mind that the boys who like you may be shy too.

I recommend, don't start by looking for a boyfriend. Start by looking for friends who are guys. Talk to new people, and start slow. Otherwise you'll be setting yourself up for a fall.

All boyfriends should start out as friends, or the relationship is an accident waiting to happen.

Jess -The way you present yourself is important. You may not even be aware that you are doing so, but if you have come to believe that having a boyfriend is an unobtainable goal for you, or somehow more difficult for you than other people, you may be giving signals that somehow communicate you're not worthy in some way. Does that make any sense? If being used by guys is a pattern you've observed - you may be putting yourself forward as someone who doesn't value herself, and so is not valued by others.

You've got to believe in yourself. You have to put yourself out there as someone who's kind, strong, smart...whatever you believe your best qualities to be - and people will respond differently to you. Looks play a part - they're often the hook - but you can't put it all on looks. We've all seen those couples where one of the people is incredible looking and the other leaves something to be desired...That should tell you something. It's surprising sometimes what people will overlook in the looks department when they learn that what's inside the person is exactly what they've always been searching for. If you're looking in the mirror a lot - give it a rest and look inside for a while. Corny, I know, but true. Good luck.

Like that episode of Seinfeld with that chick from Hey Dude!

Loved Seinfeld - but don't remember that specific episode - any more details?