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Mon 11 Apr, 2005 09:23 am
My ex and I broke up a few months ago yet we see each other on a weekly basis, because of church. We say our "hi's" from time to time but conversations are now unappealing and boring - they seem to lack the connection we once had. Anyways, we have mutual friends and yesterday she hinted about hanging out with us. Ever since the break up, things are no longer the same between us - she is ourright mean to me at times. She seems to want to do things with us ONLY when she doesn't have plans of her own and it seems like she gets jealous when I do have plans with our mutual friends. It's funny how when she has plans with her new friends, she never asks me to join along, yet when I have plans she leaves me messages like "how come I wasn't invited" or "thanks for inviting me." It get very irritating after a while.
I guess this is a side of her that I've come to know all too well: the petty/jealous side. Is it wrong for me to want to keep her at a distance?
'course not.
If the whole breakup was based on "let's be friends" or you made promises to always be there for her even though you broke up or whatever, maybe some intermediate step is necessary. Telling her that the friendship thing isn't working, something like that.
But if you broke up, with no promises about friendship, you have no obligations to her at all. Just do what you want to do (and don't do what you don't want to do.)
Your ex sounds like the black hole of emotional need, sucking out all the pleasantries and happiness in her path.
I think you should make her a human sacrifice, unless of course your church frowns on that kind of thing.
Quote:Your ex sounds like the black hole of emotional need, sucking out all the pleasantries and happiness in her path.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
I said I would be there for her if she needed me - and I have: I helped her with her school work much more than I should have, been her alarm clock, blah blah blah. But it's only when SHE needs something. I've only asked her for one thing after which was to save me a ticket for some concert.
I'm also fed up because a lot of her pictures on msn and such are of her and 3 or 4 guy friends and she's literally hanging off of all of them.
I hate being right all the time. btw I was kidding about the human sacrifice part. Hope I'm not too late.
Disco wrote:I'm also fed up because a lot of her pictures on msn and such are of her and 3 or 4 guy friends and she's literally hanging off of all of them.
She must have some strong legs to hang off 4 guys at once!
And from the situation which you described, it actually seems to me that the only really healthy option is
to avoid contact with her. So yeah, nothing wrong with that at all.
I'd also like to pose this question: at what point should one believe that he is being used?
I began to feel like this sometime during the relationship and also AFTER the breakup.
At the point one feels like he's being used, he should believe that he is being used. There's just not much else to it, IMO.
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