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Sun 10 Apr, 2005 06:05 pm
Some of you are former New Yorkers (or wannabees) but I think you get the message.
You know you're from New York when...
You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.
You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are
seats available.
You and the other three passengers look at each other and know you have pure
grit.
You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors
will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.
You know what a "regular" coffee is.
It's not Manhattan; it's the "City."
You get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road.
You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the
rent.
There is no north and south. It's "uptown" or "downtown."
If you're really from New York you have absolutely no concept of where north
and south are...and east or west is "crosstown."
You cross the street anywhere but on the corners and you yell at cars for
not respecting your right to do it.
You move 8,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and
people still know you're from Brooklyn the minute you open your mouth.
You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a "real" pizza
and a "real" bagel.
A 500 square foot apartment is large.
Your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot house in
the suburbs that was the same price as that same 500 square foot apartment
of yours that takes only 35 minutes to get to and you think he's a sucker.
You know the difference between all the different Ray's pizzas.
You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able
to actually understand a P.A. announcement on the subway.
You know who Mr. G. is.
You have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which you have
neither ordered from nor even heard of.
You wouldn't bother ordering pizza in any other city.
You know that off-the-shelf insecticides are just laughing gas to the
superior roaches cohabiting with you in the 500 square foot apartment.
You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the major
food groups which are: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian.
You're not the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's
Eve.
Your internal clock is permanently set to know when alternate side of the
street parking regulations are in effect.
You know what a bodega is.
You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can
read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passengers' hats.
Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.
You don't even notice the nice lady walking down the road having a perfectly
normal conversation with herself.
You pay "only" $230 a month to park your car.
You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas.
The Presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not an honor.
Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. (They take up all the
parking spaces!)
You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.
The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it's a
beer.
That's New York baby! Ya gotta love it.
Pheonix, I dont understand half of what you are going on about (Ray's Pizzas...never heard od 'em, etc) but you somehow make it sound so cool.
Just one question.....how DO you pronounce Houston....like us Brits?
We pronounce it Hueston, but always hear it pronounced as Hooston by Americans.
Its a bit like American Tourists here in London asking for directions to Leicester Square, I suppose.
And just who IS Mr G ?
179.
I have come to the conclusion that it is you that is cool, especially now I know you have a New York accent.
Tell me, did you appear in the cool thread....if not I shall gladly nominate you.
How you doin' ?
I haven't a NY accent, but I know most of wheroff you speak, since I lived in Manhattan and Brooklyn different times.
There is a chain of Ray's Pizzas taking hold in Howston (I mean Houston), but I don't know where it originated.
Lord Ellpus- Yeah, I think that I was on the "cool" thread. I'm doin' great. How ya doin"?
I love Brooklyn accents. The really good ones are nearly impossible to understand unless you too speak Brooklyn but I just love it. I used to work for a publishing company and one of our clients was in Brooklyn and every time I called this guy we'd go back and forth a couple times before we'd figure out what the hell the other was saying....it was so fun.
Phoenix, I can't believe you don't remember "Mr. G" from your New York days. He on Channel 2 and Frank Fields (later his son Storm) on Channel 4 were the best known weather men in the area in the '70s. Next you'll be telling me you don't remember Uncle Weathbee. By coincidence, on sunday, I heard Mr.G's name announced on the loud speaker at the finish line in Central Park. He was just finishing a charity sponsored marathon as I cycled by.
Phoenix, I'm going to correct myself before you possibly do. Storm Field did not follow his father on Channel 4. He was on a different channel. Ira Joe Fischer and then Al Roker followed Frank Field on Channel 4.
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