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Fri 8 Apr, 2005 09:52 am
Back again. I'm still not over the recovering alcoholic. I think about him all the time! To refresh, we were dating for about 3 months, then i really got feelings for him and told him, he said he cant have anything serious, but enjoys spending time with me, is attracted to me, etc. I guess i just couldnt deal with taking things so lightly and i often got upset. HE said when i got upset it made him feel anxious. The last time we were supposed to see each other he told me that if i spent the night i'd have to sleep in the guest room because if i stayed in his bed we'd have sex and he just cant be a sexual person right now. I have never heard anyone say that, but um ok. Needless to say i got upset and didnt go up. he said he felt i needed some time to cool off and that he wanted to be my friend, but he doesnt get feelings for people because he was hurt once like 8 years ago. He said he didnt want to bring me into his dysfunctional self. He told me he wished he could be my boyfriend and if he could be, he would be.
So since that conversation i have not seen him, but we have talked on the phone a few times, e-mailed and text messsaged. I am in an argument right now with my cousin (long story) I spoke with him last night and told him what happened and ended up crying. I told him a few other stories and mentioned i told someone else, he said oh who'd you tell, the guy you're seeing? i just said, oh yeah and kind of ignored him. Then he jokingly said, you're dating mike from work arent you. I know he was kidding, but everytime we talk he asks if i'm seeing anyone or makes references to if i'm seeing anyone. I guess this makes me feel like, hmm, maybe he is still interested in me and would be upset if i'm seeing someone? He is going to FL this weekend and asked if i'm coming down (i'm 500 miles away so obviously not) when we hung up he said well it was nice talking to you, i said, yeah even though i was all emotional again. he just said, well i dont mind, because it wasnt about me.
so i guess that's it. we are strictly friends, but i am lusting over him and thinking about him all the time...it's pretty tough
I think this guy is being upfront with you! I admire him for that.
I also think you should try to be more of a friend to him than someone requiring an emotional relationship with him, which he can't deal with at the present time.
You should go your own way, light your own fire, and let him know you are his friend, if he needs to talk.
Meanwhile, life goes on, and it's out there waiting for you.
Hi Diana:
You'll never get over him if you keep talking to him, looking for clues that he's romantically interested in you, and clinging to hope.
I would never torture and humilate myself by chasing a man who doesn't want me. Why do you keep chasing after this man? Sever ties with him and move on with your life!
Take care.
You know Diana, he really is being selfish by calling you and telling you he wishes you'd be his friend in one sentence and then saying he can't be what you're looking for in the next. You will continue to agonize over this as long as you keep contact with him. You need to tell him to stop calling you because it's prolonging the hurt you're carrying. This will go on until you stop it.
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