Stillwater: 'I never thought of myself as a dirty, old..

I am doing a quickie contract at a very large accountancy firm. I had done some work for them before, but in a different capacity on a different floor. So, they needed some-one real quick and I said, 'Yep I can do that. Show me where to sit'.

What they didn't say was, 'And where would you LIKE her to sit?'.

The answer being: "I'll just dust my face - won't take a minute".


Migod - the industry seems to rely on nothing but young women fresh out of university - all somewhere between 19 and 22 years old. The blokes seem to be just out of nappies and still have to manage shaving.

It is awful. In all my jobs I have worked with lots of women and always enjoyed it. Now I am beset by unclean thoughts, 9 thru to 5!

It's not JUST because they're younger. They are lovely!! Pretty, fresh faces with flat tummies, firm backsides and the BREASTS!!! Don't get me started on their pert, non-saggy, point-to-the-Heavens breasts!!!

About 50 times a day I go over to a filing bay to.... well, file and there is some lovely bending forward to take a file out from the bottom row and I am greeted by a mass of cleavage.

"I'll just be a minute!".

"Take all the time you want...."

Mr S - watch the blood pressure man

It's just a phase you're going through, Stilly.
It'll pass & you'll feel much, much calmer.

One just complimented me on my tie!! I feel quite giddy.....

Oh my, poor poor stilly! <cha!>

Slappy has PM'ed me with a suggestion!


Sorry, but if I did take over an empty board-room and hang up a sign on the door saying 'The Love-Doctor is IN!' it may affect my status as contractor.

However, if I got an agent...........


'Yo Stillwater, I gots you booked for a straight six-week gig my man! Now
da Hilton sisters wanna know if you is free for a fortnight after thats -
course you still gots your regular gig with the Dallas Cheerleaders and
the Playboy Pets of the year!'