please i need some advice

You weren't wrong for asking that she not talk to him anymore.

You were wrong in spying on her, pretending to be her, and flirting with some guy online.

you don't understand
she was sitting beside me the whole time and i'm always beside heranytime she's on we usually get online together

First of all, welcome to a2k
Secondly, you were wrong in spying on your wife and
thirdly, you were even more wrong to pretend you're
your wife and chat the guy up.

I can imagine that you probably coerced him into saying
what he did say and now that you got proof that he
had cheating in mind, you automatically assume you're
wife is in the same corner.

Furthermore, you forbad your wife to talk to this guy
again and now you don't know why she's mad?

Everything you possibly could do wrong, you did! Your
wife is a grown woman who can make her own decisions
about whom she is going to see, talk to, or meet.
So far, she has done nothing wrong - nothing at all!

thank you for your reply, but first off my wife is younger then you'd think, and secondly she sat right beside me and allowed me to talk the guy up... not to mention i met my wife on the same chat service.....this guy would get home from work at 11:00 and could set and talk to my wife all night and have no recognition of his own wife and kids so i assumed that he was"into" my wife....
the guy knows now it was me he talked to and i apologized to him.... but..... he thanked me for "chatting him up" because he said I made him realiz what he had and that he can't believe that he was going to do what he was going to do....
My wife is 16 yrs old "she lied about her age for 5 months to me" and he knew her real age he is 26 which added to my curiosity

Your wife is 16 years old? How can this be? She's a minor.
How old are you?

Well, I think Calamity pretty much said it all and I totally agree with her and the rest of the posters.

Not all men who talk to women - are after anything more than just conversation. Now, if you take a man that is not overly content in his relationship - most of the time he can be talked into just about anything. And it sounds to me like that his what you were doing. Throwing your wife at him as a test.

Well......you lost! But you can't blame your wife for that.

My suggestion to you now, is to ask her to forgive you and try and make amends. Otherwise you just might end up pushing her into the very arms you were trying to keep her out of. :wink:

.....and brooke is the expert, so listen to her

I still cannot believe that you can get married with 16 years
of age.

You give pretty good advice yourself, Calamity. :wink:

I'm thinking that you can't get married at 16 without parental consent?

It may depend on the state, if in the United States.

My hope, lordsofchaos, is that you two do not embark on parenthood right away, as there are things to work out for a long time relationship that would support a good life for children.

Ditto!!!!

she had parental consent

well we have had a little girl and she passed away so.......

I am sorry about your loss, for both you two and the baby.

My comment about your not having children soon sounds harsh even to me, but I hope you two have some more time to work out your lives together before you get going on raising children.

I think you should ask your wife not to have personal conversations with men in chat rooms. Promise the same to her, and keep your word.

I know people will likely buzz in here, and raise all types of personal rights issues and so on, but face it. This is such a huge temptation for married people. The success of your mariage already has a few big strikes against it.

A good rule of thumb is not to do something that would bother you if your wife/husband did it. I would not accept my husband chatting up some woman for hours at the time. Not unless there were other people chatting as well.

Trouble.

Also, I'm sorry for your loss. I also deeply agree with advice to prevent pregnancy for a long time. Your wife needs time to mature. It would be unfair for a child to rely on such a young, inexperienced mother.

Anyway, good luck.

I read through this whole thread and was about to post something....and then I got to Lash's post. Wow! Right on the money! It was very similar to what I was going to say!

Well written and thought out. I also liked what some of the other posters had to say. Good advice...

You've had some great advice here and I also agree completely with Lash.