"The One"

No, it's just a romantic thought, and a lot of people like to entertain romantic thoughts.

The problem is that everyone can make their own choices, and no matter what YOU think "the one" may not want to be with you. Happens all the time.

Call me a hopeless romantic. Even though I think there are many members of the opposite sex that we can all relate to and have a wonderful relationship with..........I also think that there is that "special" someone out there that has just a little bit more to give your heart. And your heart has just a little bit more to give back. That you can fall deeper in love with, than anyone else.

I just don't think most people ever find it.

Okay, so despite all my romantic hopes (especially with new relationships), I remain a skeptic, but not in a cynical way. I simply think that there are many for many. In other words, you could find somebody who you can relate to and love sincerely, but timing or conditions might not be right. I think people expect a little too much out of love, partly due to the movie industry; or perhaps its better said that they expect the wrong things. I believe that love and marriage is as much a business partnership and a partnership for loving children and being intimate as it is a partnership of souls. Friendship is important, and "being on the same page" as well. And I think people can generally be very passionate about each other. But loving one and only one doesn't make sense. Why do you think generally good hearted, well-meaning people have affairs. They've found someone else whom they love (sometimes lust). But a lot of times love. Also, I cant say exactly where, but I read that the average American claims to have fallen in love 7 times before they were married. This proves that a lot of it has to do with circumstance. I'll even give an example. Right now I am dating a guy. Hes an algerian. I met him in France. I'd be willing to say that I love him in ways, but to think that I'll be with him for my whole life would be foolish. It isn't logical. Im going back to the states. We have a thousand differences with respect to culture, religion, and background. And sometimes love isn't enough. I love many people, and have loved many. But I suppose its all in how you define love. Anybody else?

daniellejean:

I definitely agree with you that the movies skew this stuff.... I have learned the hard way that those fairy tale movies and romance novels are not real life. I guess sometimes I just wish they were....but at the same time they are not real so how could they ever be?? Silly I guess...

If only there was a manual for this stuff....haha... it's just so damn complicated sometimes....or should it not be if it is right?? who knows

Part of the problem is we change as we grow. What you wanted in a mate when you were in your 20's might not be the same as when you are in your 40's. I look back at the men I loved when I was very young and now realize that what attracted me to them would have little effect on me today. It's nice if you can find a person who you can grow with and not apart from, but it's not so easy to do.

All love is compromise. I think if you can find someone with whom you have common interests, mutual respect, similar beliefs, values and some physical chemistry- that is as close to relationship Nirvana as you can get.

I used to believe in 'the one' but after several of 'the ones', it was clear that THAT concept, as romantic as it is, was just one more aspect of the whole Cinderella/movie/heartbreak music thing that keeps us slaves to fairy tales. It's foolish. Romantic but foolish.

I remember a friend of mine who was engaged explaining to me that "When it's 'the one' you'll just know."

Funny thing, their engagement broke off.

I don't think there's just one - but I think there are only really "a few".

As Green Witch so rightly says, what we look for changes with age and experience.

As time goes by there have to be different levels of "right for each other". Julian Barnes, in his book "Talking it Over" indicated that there are three requirements:

Love
Fancy (rather British term for the lust aspect!)
Respect (I take this to include those practical/value-based things which allow us to live in harmony)

Two out of three is good going and could hold a relationship together for some time but really all three are required.

Nothing better than the hope that you may have found all three!

KP

I think that there are a number of people who could be the "one". It all has to do with where you are emotionally at any particular time.

And "the one" can turn into something else, entirely, over time ...... :wink:

I'm not a believer in "the one" myself. I think there are many people we could be happy with at any given time in our lives.

I think it can Seem like there's only one out there for each person, but really, humans are more emotionally flexible than that.

I've felt "chemistry" with rather a lot of people over the years... it doesn't seem all that rare to me. Maybe that's just me.

Same here. I'd been in love with a few men before I met, fell in love and married my husband. The one that you want to be with, at any given time, is 'the one.'

I don't know what I think about this. I'd like to think there is the one but reason tells me that finding the one is about timing.

However, I do believe in reincarnation so there could be one soul you are meant to be with and find life after life....

I don't know. I love my husband with a passion and he has made me feel like no one else has ever and I put up with far more from him than I have with past loves. So is he the one? He said he knew when we met he was going to marry me. He even told him mom he met the girl he was going to marry. Hm.

We can never love two people in exactly the same way, so I'd say we have the potential for loving many people. It is the nature of love, however, to make one feel as if THIS person is exceptional, one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable. And they are! But that's not to say you can't or won't have other relationships that are just as meaningful in different ways.

Tough one. The rational part of me says there is no "the one"....but I'd like to believe there is. I'm positive I married "the one". From the moment we met we had a connection that was unlike anything I've ever experienced. A meeting of the souls would be the best way to describe it. Not so much "love at first site", but I knew right away I'd just met my best friend and he would be for the rest of my life. The love part grew over time, for me anyway. He says he fell in love right away. There is at least one other couple I know where if you spend any amount of time with them it's obvious that they were put on this earth for each other.

I've known I was going to marry a girl before. So of course, is was an absolute shock when she dumped me.

I don't believe in the whole notion of "the one". To me it strips the magic and mystery from the unique world of relationships.