Thu 6 Dec, 2018 04:39 pm
I have a problem and I've looked into a solution or some other case like mine in two different languages and I still haven't found anything useful so I decided to come to this forum here for some insight.
Okay, so here's the story: I have this childhood friend. We've known each other since we were born and we were really close at age 12/13 but then my parents divorced and I had to move to another state and we completely lost contact after some time. Two years after that I came back and started going to my new best friend's church and there I met him again but it was like we had never been close to start with and yet after a while we begun talking and meeting up thanks to having the same circle of friends and we exchanged contact info.
Long story short, I fell in love with him. (I know this must sound like I'm bragging or trying to make this seem like a romance novel but this is important for the story, trust me) Everything seemed okay, he gave me all the signs he liked me too but as I became confident enough to confess to him he started growing distant and we had a fight and stopped talking/texting altogether. Okay, so here's the weird part.
Meanwhile, I was on Facebook looking at our old conversations and accidentally scrolled up to older messages. And there were a lot (like, really, I had to run an algorithm and still couldn't reach the top). Most of them from really long ago, 2012/2013. And as I started reading them, I started remembering all the events we were talking about but I grew confused cause I didn't remember him being there at all.
For example, we talked about a movie night I had with girls from my middle school and I remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember the room full of us, I remember the girls' faces, the movie, the things we did that day but according to my facebook history, we talked before and after I went there and I don't remember that at all. In fact, I don't remember him being anywhere in my memories at all.
According to my mom, we used to play a lot when we were kids and I remember none of those moments. I also have pictures of him being there in every single birthday party of mine and yet when I remember those days, I can picture everything but his presence. That's not a surprise per say cause I've been having memory problems since my mom and my dad divorced but I had never figured out the source of my "amnesia". And as I was thinking about it, I realized he might be the problem itself cause I completely erased him from my mind. The only things I remember about him are the ones that happened recently.
My friend told me he thinks it might be because I fell in love with him and he couldn't respond to my feelings. I have clear evidence of this in the conversations (the fact that I chose not to tell my friend he liked her despite him asking me about it everyday) I found but could this be? Did I make my mind erase everything about him cause I couldn't get over my disappointment? Or was it something else? I just don't think it's a coincidence.
Anyway, that's my doubt. What do you guys think is happening? Also I know it's not a case of "locked memories" cause they should have been triggered once I fell in love with him and got rejected (again?). So if you're a psychologist or a student or someone who knows my "condition" please give me an insight cause I don't know what's happening and I really wanna figure it out! Thank you!
We can’t remember EVERYTHING. He just wasn’t that important to you at that time, so you don’t remember him being there.
No big deal, so why do you stress about it today? He’s not the same person now as he was then, anyway.