Breakup or give it a shot?

It's really not his fault that he isn't over her. It IS his fault that he started another relationship before he was, and that he is letting it affect taht relationship.

So, my opinion is that you probably started things too early. It may take him some time to get over her, but some people never do.

You do have the option of trying to make the relationship work, but now you know his problem, and being in a relationship with him, it has become your responsibility. If you want to try to continue things it will be with the knowledge that he isn't over her and you'll have to accept that.

In light of that, I think everyone else will tell you to run.

Relationships are build on trust.
If you don't trust him than what good will it do?

You only hurt yourself by checking on him/his ex girlfriend
daily in the fear of finding some sort of communication between them. Jealousy and distrust will eat you up. That's not a
healthy relationship anyone should be in.

run

Wow. Sounds like the exact type of thing I went through.
I couldn't stand it either and it led to a lot more trust problems.
It didn't end very good and I would suggest you end it before you really get hurt. Trust is a very volatile thing and unless it stays intact, its a very horrible thing.

This is going to sound harsh, but it sounds like you're being a bit controlling. As much as it hurts you that he talks to her, it is his life, and he has the right to be friends with whoever he chooses. One cannot easily erase two years worth of romance, and sometimes friendships are possible after a breakup, assuming the new partner doesn't blatently forbid it. As far as I am concerned, it is rarely okay to tell somebody who they can or cannot talk to. In fact, it is selfish. I understand jealousy. I've felt it. But if you cannot trust him you cannot love him with your whole heart. And I agree with the others that from your post it sounds like he hasnt moved on yet, and in that, you're entitled to your jealousy. However, how you deal with the jealousy is the issue. Maybe itd be good to take a step back from the relationship and allow him to work out his issues.

JANE IS VERY WISE--listen to her.

Re: Breakup or give it a shot?


He is right. If you can't trust him, you can't be with him. Love does not, contrary to what you may believe, make everything work out. You have violated his trust now as well by snooping.

This is a tough situation because he is probably still attached to this girl because she was pregnant with his child. Aborted or not, this is a big deal. He might feel responsible in some way to make sure she gets by ok. He might not have any interest in her other than to make sure she's ok.

I think that this relationship is over, whether or not you want it to be.

while i have not been through your exact situation, i have been through a similar situation with losing trust and trying to make him earn it back. it eats you up....thats all I can say. I mean why let thoughts of this woman be floating around in your head constantly if she really does not matter in the grand scheme of things? It is really hard to get out of a relationship when you are in love with the person, but wouldn't you like to have a shot at a loving relationship where you can trust the guy 100%? I know you would have many more days of peace to yourself also which is the most important thing. :wink: