A man walks into the Doctors.......

1. A man walks in the doctors and says "Doctor, I think im going deaf", the doctor says "What are the symptons", the man replies "Aren't they a yellow Cartoon family on TV?"

2. A man walks into the doctors office and says "Doc, I think there is something wrong with my wife." Doc says "What's the problem?" The man says "I think she either has Alzheimer's or Aids". Doc says "Thats simple, drop her off at the local mall and if she remembers how to get home, don't have sex with her."

3. A man went to the doctor with a steering wheel down his pants, doctor says "What happened?" The man replies "I dunno but its driving me nuts"

4. A man walks into the doctors surgery, claiming that whenever he presses any part of his skin it hurts.The patient presses his nose, his elbow, his knee and so on, each time saying that it hurts.
The doctor then tells him to lie on a bed while he examines him for injuries. In the end the doctor found the problem: "Ah, you have a broken finger!"

5. One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it
will cost to extract wisdom teeth.
"Eighty dollars" the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a
cheaper way?"
"Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an anaesthetic, I can
knock it down to $60."
"That's still too expensive," the man says.
"Okay" says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply
tear the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I could get away with
charging only $20."
"Nope" moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Hm" says the dentist, scratching his head. "If I let one of my
students do it for experience, I suppose I could charge you
just $10."
"GREAT!" exclaims the man, "book my wife for next Thursday!"

6. A man walks into the doctors office
"Doctor doctor I think I'm a moth"
"I'm sorry you need to see a psychologist"
"I know, but your light was on"

7. A man walks into the doctors with a piece of lettuce poking from his
arse. The doctor examines him and says, "Is that all that's wrong with you?" The
man replies "No doc..... I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg"

8.A man walks into the Doctors with an apple in one ear, a banana in the other ear and grapes up his nose. He says, "Doctor, what's happening to me?" The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly.

9. A man walks into the doctors with a strawberry stuck up his arse. The doctor looks at it and says, "I can give you some cream to put on that."