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how to write it better?

 
 
bubu
 
Reply Mon 28 Mar, 2005 11:48 pm
hello,

How can I write this letter better? I require the modification of the body of the letter only.That why I have not written the other fomalities like "yours faithfully" and address, and stuff like that.

Dear Sir,
First of all, I wish to congratulate you on your plans to organize an exhibition exclusively on orissan patta paintings at Delhi. Personally, I believe that this certainly would be a wise step as it will not only facilitate popularity of paintings of this kind but it also will be a source of inspiration for the painters.
Prior to any concrete move as to contributing paintings to the exhibition, we need to have an idea about the time when such an exhibition is supposed to be held. We will also need to know about the size of the paintings required for the exhibition.
Our art studio called “Jagannath arts” is only one year old and we have participated twice in the exhibition only at Mayapur. Keeping in mind our limited funds, we consider it important to let you know that we are prepared to meet the expenses relating to the making of the paintings but we are sorry to say that we won’t be able to cover the freight, insurance, and other incidental expenses.
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Nietzsche
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Mar, 2005 01:11 am
Re: how to write it better?
Dear Sir,

On behalf of Jagannath Arts, I wish to congratulate you on your plans to organize an exhibition exclusively on orissan patta [should these be capitalized?] paintings at Delhi. This is certainly a wise step as it will not only facilitate popularity of paintings of this kind, but will also be a source of inspiration for the painters.

Our art studio is only one year old and we have participated twice in the exhibition only [why is this here?] at Mayapur. Keeping in mind our limited funds, we consider it important to let you know we are prepared to meet the expenses relating to the making of the paintings, but we are sorry to say we won't be able to cover the freight, insurance, and other incidental expenses.

Furthermore, prior to any concrete move as to contributing paintings to the exhibition, we need an idea as to when the exhibition will be held and of any of size requirements for submitted works.
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bubu
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Mar, 2005 01:22 am
Thank you sir,

May god bless you for this help. I am indebted to all my forum friends they have helped immensly to improve my english.

Thanks a lot

ps: Our art studio is only one year old and we have participated twice in the exhibition only [why is this here?] at Mayapur

I wrote "only" to say that our visit to Mayapur is the only oppertunity we have had.
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Nietzsche
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Mar, 2005 01:24 am
Leave it out.

And, you're welcome.
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