Sex with older woman

I have recently started a relationship with an older woman. She is in her mid sixties, about 25 years older than me.
Things have gone well but sex has been a problem.
Although we spoke about sex early in the relationship, it was obvious she was nervous about how things would go as she admitted it had been a number of years since she had been fucked by a guy. Seems her late husband had issues with getting erections and they stopped having sex some time ago. So I did not want to rush things but equally have become frustrated as I need a physical relationship.
Last week however she agreed to spend the night with me. Unfortunately it did not go as well as it could have.
She is quite self conscious about her body so asked if she could undress on her own. Personally I would have preferred to undress with her, but agreed anyway. I undressed in the other room and walked in to see her sitting topless in bed. Her breasts are quite small and not as pert as they once were but she still looked great. Lifting back the sheets I was surprised how much pubic hair she had. Her legs were slightly apart which showed hair on her groin, around her vagina and also some hairs around her anus.
As we started to get intimate it was clear she wanted me to perform oral on her as she had done on me. Although I obliged briefly, the fact that she was very hairy did not make this very enjoyable for me.
So I tried to move things on by masturbating her with my hand. Eventually she started to respond and she started to get wet. Sensing the time was right I slowly attempted to penetrate her. However her vagina was a little tense so penetration was a little difficult. I slowly pushed inside her though. At this point I heard her say something but was unsure exactly. I pushed a little deeper inside her. Her expression on her face changed at this point and she pushed me away and jumped out of bed with her hand between her legs. I looked round and saw her becoming visibly upset. At that point I heard the sound of running water and, looking down between her legs noticed she was openly urinating. She said something about being sorry and not being able to hold it.
I am now unsure of how to progress the relationship.
How will she react when I ask her to shave her private parts?
Plus, seems that incontinence is an issue. Wondering if I could have put pressure on her bladder unintentionally?

I know that it must have been awkward for her - wetting herself in front of me must have been very embarrassing. Anyone got any thoughts on how to deal with these issues?