Calling all gay guys!!! Is the guy I'm seeing a closet case??

Reply Thu 11 Oct, 2018 10:32 am
Ok. So Saturday I went on a Bumble date with this guy who is SO funny and cute. We ended up hanging out and drinking and talking for several hours in the restaurant and then a couple more in the parking lot, still talking and making out quite a bit. I was kind of drunk, but he was a really good kisser, and honestly, by the end of the night, I was smitten.

So two days later, he invites me to go see A Star Is Born because he "remembers that I love musicals." I'm super excited, but when I see him this time, sober, I notice just how effeminate his mannerisms are, I notice that he used to have a cartilage piercing, and I dunno... his celebrity crush is Amy Winehouse. Last night he took his bichon to get his nails done. I tried to initiate a little dirty talk yesterday, and he came back with lyrics to Hold It Against Me... You know... by Britney, bitch. He doesn't like Orange is the New Black because girl-on-girl doesn't do it for him. Hey sometimes answers the phone "Hey, girl, hey" and yesterday he called me "Queen." Coming out of that Gaga movie, I just wanted to grab one of the many nearby gays and point him at the guy till he beeped.

When we made out, he definitely grabbed the back of my neck with one hand and my ass with the other, which felt pretty straight, and he definitely compliments this sweet caboose often, but... boys have butts and mouths too. 🤔

On the one hand, he is one of 5 boys in a Latino family, so he could be in some SERIOUS denial. On the other, he's 32, divorced, but still dates women, and he's across the country from his family, in New Orleans at that, and in 2018... the world is his gay oyster right now. Yet he's looking for women on Bumble.

How do I even deal with this? I really like him, and in the end, I don't care if he acts gay as long as he really wants to have sex with me. How do I suss out the truth?

I've come to the conclusion I'll really know after we have sex, but will I? He was married for four years, and if that bitch couldn't figure it out, how will I? Are there things in the bedroom I should look for? Do I need to take him to the beach to perform the "beach test?"

Y'all, I really like him. Is he homo because he's wonderful, or is he wonderful because he's homo? 😂😂😂😭😭😭
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Reply Thu 11 Oct, 2018 10:44 am
You’ll find out soon enough. Nothing you have related he did reveals his sexual preference to be male, but he could be bi.

Are you encouraging drama behavior? He sounds like he’s trying too hard.

BTW - what’s the “beach test”?
Reply Thu 11 Oct, 2018 12:16 pm
Right, he hasn't given evidence of being into men, just MAYBE evidence of being not so into women. Encouraging drama behavior? Like, conflict? Definitely not. We're both pretty chill, I think. Trying too hard at what? And I read that one way to see if he s gay is to simply take him to the beach and see which bodies he's looking at. Is that not a thing?
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Reply Thu 9 May, 2019 01:09 pm
Maybe he is into both. And if that's the case should it matter?

I am a secretly bisexual guy who prefers women and I honestly think there is ALOT more of us than we will ever admit. I get hit on online all the time by guys who have their profile set up to look completely heterosexual and have plenty of relationships with women.

I think there is a fear among guys that being even slightly gay will make all women uninterested or jealous. It's a good part of why I don't come out to girls until I get to know them, and I only see girls that are accepting of gay people. My last gf used to watch gay porn with me before I even told her. I think if you like the guy and he likes you than it is nothing to worry about. And if you just ask him honestly and tell him it's ok he would probably be honest with you.

Keep in mind not every gay person is the same. I personally would never top another guy like I would a women and would probably prefer a hot girl who wanted to use a strap over a guy any day. Not that I would ever ask them to if they were not into it. I'm just saying I like dick but not always what comes attached to them. I've yet to have an experience with another man and stick to porn on those matters. I hate that notion that because you secretly want to suck a dick that makes you uninterested in women/unable to preform/playing for the same team. Infact most girls admit to having gay feelings at some point in their life so I don't know why it is a big deal for guys. Aparrently gay or straight everybody just wants a man is how the stereotype goes. But it doesn't really work like that
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