@ehBeth,
right, I get that.
I would also want to know what the step brother and grandmother have to say about this.
To me, the key would be communicating between the households first so it's all out in the open.
This really is a case where we are only hearing one persons view/story.
What is the condition of where the grandmother is? Is there even enough room for someone to sleep there? Is the definition of "farm" a small patch where she is barely eking out an existance and this boy/man is caring for her? Would he be paying for his room and board if he could?
This and a hundred other things run through my mind.
That's why I suggested getting the families together over breaking bread, letting everyone get comfortable, feeling safe, then talk about it.