dlowan wrote:ARE you still headed to Italy, Kicky?
Yes, and I can't wait. I'm now beginning to regret that I asked my parents to come along for the whole damn thing though...it might have been easier to go soul-searching on another continent without the same old voices in my ear...but still...I won't be spending every minute with them, and I feel like I'm doing something good for them too. They would probably never do this if it wasn't for me pushing it.
Quote:And it sounds like you really are in the midst of the midlife re-appraisal thing - I know it sounds banal - but I guess things get to be called banal because they happen often.
As well as whatever is essentially Kicky and nobody else.
I think that is always an uncomfortable process - but a very potentially positive process. You know - meaning in the face of death and such.
I was kind of intrigued about the not enjoying things as much during, as after.
I think that is very common - and, much as I hate to sound all portentous and stuff, I think there is a real benefit in being as present as possible in the here and now - and savouring it. I do wonder if you think a lot about how this would be great "if such and such or so and so were here/happening/ etc. too" - ie you focus a lot on what is not perfect at the time - and only realise in hindsight how much fun it was. Ahem - (heavy crap warning) remember, all we ever have is the absolute moment we exist in.
That makes a lot of sense. I really do try to (Oprah-like cliche crap warning) stop and smell the roses.
Quote:That being said - you hate your job - so a lot of your moments are not easy to find happiness or fulfilment in - right?
Some say suffering is pain and/or experience resisted - (and I am trying to live by that notion - but whinge too much) - and I do wonder if you might try to find a little less suffering in your job while you still need to be there???
Yup. I really do seem to gravitate towards the misery and hate when I'm in this infernal hellhole--oh ****, there I go again! I can't stop myself! I must love the hate--maybe I'm trying to keep myself motivated to get the hell out of here by focusing on it. I really do seem to have a problem with laziness/procrastination, and I think this is why I do that.
Quote:Also, I note some of your socialising desires (as well as maybe others) are not being met - you used to have a pack to run with, now not so much.
This is a big part of it, I think. Very big. Huge even. But this is also the one that I really have the least amount of control over, it seems.
Quote:These things would account, I think, for at least some of the non-existential aspects of your angst
Or - you need more fibre....and/or sex...
Smooches (and sorry for being a tad serious and banal and a pain)
Deb
Wait a second...that's it! I need more fibre! Thank god I figured that out!
Seriously though, you make a lot of sense. I'm lucky to have the benefit of so many smarties like you. Thanks.
P.S. No this is not another bet. I won't be doing that betting crap again.
