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Sun 20 Mar, 2005 10:45 pm
Is it just me, or does life never seem to resolve itself? I mean, yes, great moments do happen, but most of the time you aren't in the moment enough to really appreciate them until long after they're gone.
We never seem to appreciate anything like we do when we look back, do we? Seems so unfair to me.
I'm pretty sure this is just about my own convoluted, unresolved, directionless life. I feel like I need something, or I need to do something, but I don't know what the hell it is. Why is that?
Whenever I talk about stuff like this to my mother, she tells me it's the lost feeling of someone without faith in god. Could that be it? I do feel like a lost soul at times.
Pay no attention to me. I'm just feeling a little melancholy tonight. I'll get over it. I just felt like writing, and this is what came out. Sorry.
Kicky
Faith in God is not the answer kicky.
I guess, you're looking for a purpose in life you haven't
found yet.
No one can help you in this, but at least you can assess
what you don't want. From there, you start evaluating
your wants and needs and how you can achieve them.
I dunno what it is, but I have it too. I'm pretty sure, in my case, it's not a lack of faith in god. But, I do think that sometimes not having that nice, neat godly view to guide you makes life a little bit tougher to live.
I think you have the itch. The trip to Italy will be good for you. A change of jobs would be good for you too.
I hear you, man. Seriously, really, I hear you.
Can't tell you what you need to do, though. I do know that the past few days I should have been out trying to hustle up some money for rent, and just couldn't... get... out...
Course, if you want someone to give you direction, you could join the army. They'll have lots of answers for you.
Or, kicky could move back in with his parents.....
He's got the itch? Maybe some Gold Bond, then.
I'd definitely go with the army -- ANY army -- before parental units. And I look terrible in desert camouflage...
Ha! Yeah, right, that'll happen.
I know it's not god. I guess I just mentioned that to illustrate the kind of help I get from my parents, which is none, unless I become a believer.
I do have an itch. Maybe I just need some ointment.
I've been on this earth for almost 40 years now and I still get in these crazy moods like this sometimes. I know there are people out there who are comfortable and have their life just the way they like it. I've seen 'em. How the hell do they do that?
culture of instant gratification
Don't we live in a society and culture of instant gratification?
Quote:While the innovations are all laudable, as they have made life easier and longer, they have also wrought certain malevolent changes. The sequence of desire-effort-patience-fulfillment has been overtaken by a culture of instant gratification that has dropped the element of patience from the natural process, giving rise to distortions, harmful side effects and a set of debatable values.
...
would it brighten your evening to know that I just found, in my email, an invitation to attend an "EQUINE ABORTION LUNCH" on Wednesday? I'm hoping it's not what is looks like, and they're just ordering pizza or something...
I'm not sure how that applies here, Husker. I dont think this has much to do with me not getting what I want when I want it. It's more about me not getting what I want because I don't know what I want. There is just something missing. At least that's what I think it is.
But what the hell do I know?
Patiodog, thanks. That actually did help. Gross, but then again, I like gross. Funny.
I don't think you're lost, kick. I think you're just a little slow to trust yourself as a good human man, but you're prolly better for that. You have a lot of real wit under your a2k persona, wit - by which I mean sense of perspective peeking out from underneath.
Listen to yourself, you are pretty interesting. And so is lilK and so is patiodawg.
Don't dismiss yourselves.
Feeling like you're feeling as you approach 40 is a pretty normal thing. Lot's of men face the approach of 40 with a big load of crap hanging over them and start to wonder if this is all there is to life. Have I reached the top, is this it, is it all downhill from here? All normal questions and the answer is no, no, and no. Lots of men also make major life changes during this time because they realise they need to do something, anything, to shake things up from the rut they're in.
Have a wonderful time in Italy. If you get the itch to stay longer, do so if you can. It will do you good. When you come back you can look for a new job, something that gives you more satisfaction than what you're doing now.
S'ok Kicky. It's all part of growing up.
Read some Albert Camus Kicky. That'll make you feel better, trust me.
Quote:Lot's of men face the approach of 40 with a big load of crap hanging over them...
I'm picturing a very strange rite of passage here...
Ha!
And Camu or Hess would lighten you up fer sure.
Calamity Jane wrote:Faith in God is not the answer kicky
I think Calamity Jane and Frank Apisa (sp) would get along just fine.
Kicky, my advice to you is to just go along with the flow and don't let your head get muddled with complicated thoughts. Some people are meant to stumble through life in a directionless fashion. You're one of them. So am I.
Which brings me to one of my thoughts on why I feel lost sometimes - I think too much. Do most people just go through life without thinking about it? I dunno.
"I've finally found my special purpose! And now that I know what it is, I'm going to use it A LOT!"
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