I feel like a lost soul sometimes.

Thank you Heeven. I gotta say, you are pretty damn good at giving out kick-in-the-ass advice too. Your advice column suggestion is definitely interesting, and has been noted and will be placed on the "job ideas and possibilities to consider" list. Real tough to make something like that happen, but I like the idea.

There's so much good **** in what you said, I just want to put it up on my wall somewhere so I can check it out everyday. THANKS!

So much of what you said really made sense to me. No wonder you love your ****. I'm pretty sure your **** is good ****. I don't know about my ****. I love some of it, but some of it is just...well...****.

Either way, I appreciate your wise advice.

Everybodys **** stinks. You just gotta love the smell of your own.

Oh and as for the advice column, ever thought about creating your own newsletter? Online and in paper form, like that site "The Onion"? Get a gang together who can tackle the various issues of the day - politics, religion, employment, . A sort of farcical (sp?) newspaper. A sort of A2K in article format. Whoever it was that thought up that website that takes the piss on issues was a gem! I love that ****.

You are right about that Onion thing.

Actually, I used to have a little newsletter for a few months about ten years ago. It was called Bitch Session, and that title pretty much summed it up. Rants, pet peeves, stuff meant only to offend people...Ha, I'm just thinking back on the goofy **** I put in there...There was a feature in it called "**** Happens" that was devoted to exploits with women, friends, and alcohol...I wrote something for Christmas about a porn ring headed by Santa Claus, who was in cahoots with the Grinch...I didn't really care about how bad my writing was though, so a lot of it was pretty horrible. I used to do it in my spare time. I laid it all out, wrote all the articles, etc...but it was totally just for fun, and after about three installments, I gave it up.

Hmmm...

Yikes, it's like I'm in your head ... freaky!

Would you mind dusting a bit -- you know, while you're in there?

plenty of room - come join the party!

I think you might be my soulmate! Want to run away to California with me and start an underground newsletter?

Run to Santa Cruz kick, its a cool little town. I lived there for about a year in the 80s (before the big earthquake). Theyve fixed it up and its a nice little place for writing. Many sweet mamas who would spend time to assure themselves that your straight. A single hombre could further his life in worst spots.

A long time ago, I wrote some columns on fly fishing , and I had them in the valley paper. Thing was, I knew NOTHING about fly fishing. I gradually shifted over to nature stuff and paleo but the fly fishing columns were well re cieved.

I got my idea from reading Mark Twains short story about "Editing the agricultural news" Seems Twain didnt know squat about farming but that didnt stop him either.

Listen you whore, I know you have the hots for littlek AND Brooke and I'm the jealous type (read: there would be lots of "kick" and "****" mentioned in the same sentence should I get cranky with you!) so I'm not running away with you anywhere!

On second thoughts, is your area still shaved? I've never been with a guy who was smooth down there.

I lived in SC more recently than f'man. It ain't what it used to be, but still a damn sight better than most places. Goddamn, I miss it -- especially now, when the hills are still shaking off the winter wetness and the poppies are popping their heads all about, and the university's cows are grumpily mooing over their damp pasture, and everybody's coming out of their smoky winter holes to form big smoky circles sweet-smelling beaches as the golden setting sun rays slant across the redwoods and madrones and doug firs....


F@ck this midwestern prairie. I want my western mountains and beaches and tiny fast-flowing rivers and trees back...

There was a section just out of town where there were groves of eucalyptus. Made the entire AREA SMELL LIKE CAT-PISS. i WROTE ABOUT THAT IN AN ARTICLE AND ALMOST GOT FIRED.
I remember riding out the one long pier and getting calamari in paper cones and sitting there feeding the seals.
.

Fine, I'll start my harem without you then!

But I could be your first smooth-shaven guy for a small fee. It grew back, but just say the word and I'll break out the Mach III Turbo again!

By the way, I like that term of endearment you just used for me. "Whore." That's really sweet.

Used to go out on the concrete boat in Capitola at night and chase the sleeping sea lions off the dock when the phosphorescent algae/plankton/whatever were lighting up the bay. Good stuff. A bit of a freaky climb over a fence and along some tattered rebar to get out there, but... a trippy night for a college kid. So many good spots out there.

The place has become yuppified, of course -- and last I was there, the beautiful mixed old- and second-growth stands above Bonny Doon were being infiltrated with luxury tract housing, a strip mall being installed east of the clock tower -- and of course the pedestrian mall was never rebuilt after the '89 quake -- Barnes & Noble and big multiplex cinema went in downtown. Still and all, a great place to eat well and cheap, to do your thing, to bask.

A'ight, I shut up now.

Santa Cruz. Earthquakes. California does seem real nice, but damn, I don't know about all that earthquake stuff.

Don't be such a little bitch, whore. A real man isn't afraid of earthquakes. (Just spiders.)

I wanted you to feel good about yourself and it's the best I could come up with. Besides it gives the impression that you are shaking your groove thing all around and hitting pay-dirt occasionally.

goddammit, I was trying so hard to have a completely laughless, cranky ass day today...you bastards!

Sorry. This should help you get back on track...

is that a naked picture of kicky - c'mon man, post it properly!