"I wish I'd said that": Gold Standard Verbal Coinage

Those are great!

My paper occassionaly reprints the Washington Post invitational list of new words and definitions and I'm always amazed at the things people come up with.

Yesterday we were driving out to the beach and a I grabbed a little book to read on the way - "We're Just Like You, Only Prettier" - and some of the southern terms and descriptions left me laughing out loud.

A friend of my college years came from Birmingham, AlaBAMA. She taught me the full meaning of "tacky" as a distainful adjective.

"Tacky" ha!

She's right - tacky can describe anything you don't like or don't agree with. My mom describes all kinds of things as "tacky".

It reminds me of a joke a southern belle (a true, debutante ball kind of belle) told me about two belles having lunch together. One is an older woman and one is a young, recently married woman.

The older woman begins to list all of the luxurious items her husband has supplied her with over the years. After each item the younger woman replies

"That's nice"

After boasting for many minutes the older woman asks the younger about the nice gifts she has surely received and the girl admits to having been sent to charm school. Delighted, the older woman demands to know what they taught her at charm school to which the younger replies:

"They taught me to quit saying "f*** you" and to start saying "that's nice".

To get back on topic - I found this list from one Washington Post contest where competitors had to add or subtract one letter and come up with a new definition:

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.


Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously.

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.